Struggling with new relationship

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Hello, a bit about me, I am 46, and have been single for a very long time, well 25 odd years to be precise, since I had any kind of meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex, until a little over 3 weeks ago. I have been seeing a woman who is a little younger than me since 1st July this year. It started out pretty well, but the last couple of weeks have been tough for me, in that she wants to spend a fair bit of time with me, including a few nights at my apartment, I have explained to her about my aspergers, given her a stacks of info about it.
My issue is I am having troubles dealing with the new relationship, I really like this girl, but I am afraid I am going to once again blow it - coming down to something like my normal routines or whatever taking over and not being able to change, at the moment I am going to only be able have her stay at my place on weekends, she was staying a odd night here and there during the week also at my place, but was starting to find it a little draining on me.
I want this relationship to work, but need some advice and possibly some counselling also. I know it takes alot of hard work and commitment on both sides for relationships to work and grow.

my boyfriend and i are both AS and i have only recently been able to fully grok that it's nothing personal when he wants alone time, after four years. like it took me at least three years. so yeah, this is going to be difficult with an NT.

FWIW, i think the thing that i needed to hear from him the whole time was the words "it's not that i don't like you or enjoy hanging out with you--it's just that my social energy is finite, and i need time to be alone and regenerate between hangouts. if i don't, then it's not going to be fun for either of us" or some such. even "this is nothing personal, i still really like you!" would have probably done the trick.

it would also have helped if he would have texted me a little bit in between just to let me know he still likes me--or even commented on my social media, or whatever. this is, of course, conditioning on my part from a lifetime of dating NT men who would smother me in attention, which i assume your lady-friend has been subjected to as well. so on her end, the silence from you is exactly what any other guy would do if he had totally lost interest in her. my BF and i have broken up many times in the early days, because i thought he just didn't like me and i liked him SO MUCH, i was like "ugh, this is embarrassing, forget this."

it's kind of like how in one culture, a certain gesture might mean "yes" but the same gesture might be a very rude one in another culture. like how wearing a man wearing a pair of knee-length shorts in, say, the united arab emirates is tantamount to a guy wearing a speedo in the U.S. your silence is like a pair of reasonably normal pair of shorts in YOUR country, but to her, it's offensive. you guys can meet in the middle, though, if you understand each other's culture!

beyond the stacks of info you've given her (which is good), i would just keep reassuring her that you like her. send her a message to say hi every other day or something. it's OK if you keep it brief.

Hi . .. . Congratulations on new relationship. I'm NT and have a close friendship (not a relationship) with an AS male. You may find it useful to read some of my posts, as I often come on here looking for advice because I struggle with expectations of reciprocation and levels of interaction etc etc. . . . .i have read everything I can find to try and ensure I understand the differences that make our communication more difficult - but still I struggle sometimes and think I am making a fool of myself . .. . . . It may possibly help you to understand how the NT brain reacts to AS responses . . .. .

You're like a special interest to her at the moment. If you're like me a special interest is exciting and you spend all your free time with that interest because it's so enjoyable.

She wants to spend as much of her free time with you as possible because that's enjoyable to her. She expects that you feel the same.

I imagine it's hard to explain that you need space and alone time too.

I don't know what the answer is. Maybe some with more relationship experience can help.