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Anngables
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14 Aug 2017, 5:51 am

Hurtloam . . .. if I come away that way then I am misrepresenting myself because that is completely not the point. . . .. . .. . Anyways after all the insight on here we spoke yesterday. He is absolutely adamant that he values our friendship and would not want to lose me from his life. . . .. . .all is good. It is not about being possessive. It is about how difficult it is for an NT person to know or understand if someone who reacts emotionally in such a different way . . .actually wants them around or values them. I am willing to put in the 98% effort to maintain this friendship but he has to do his 2% part and it felt like that was slipping away.

And rdos that research sounds interesting look forward to hearing more. . .. .. I only speak from a very limited anecdotal perspective, but do you think any of the attachment issues ND folk experience come from bad childhood experiences- where they were treated badly by other children and often felt lonely?? Or do you think it is a neurological difference?



rdos
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14 Aug 2017, 6:04 am

Anngables wrote:
but do you think any of the attachment issues ND folk experience come from bad childhood experiences- where they were treated badly by other children and often felt lonely?? Or do you think it is a neurological difference?


No, I think it is the other way around. There are some fundamental differences in the attachment processes of NDs, probably both in relationships, friendships and in parent-child bonds. It is these differences that create a lot of problems for NDs. I wouldn't be surprised if this is one the biggest factor in diagnosis, and it might even explain the male bias. Which is kind of counter-intuitive given that the issues with nonverbal communication and social traits have no direct connection to attachment processes. These are only correlated through neurotype, not by any causative route.



Anngables
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14 Aug 2017, 6:23 am

Interesting stuff . . ..



Anngables
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15 Aug 2017, 5:14 pm

So after my chat on Sunday my friend has been lovely and chatting via text and messenger all the time. So I have sent this message to try and be really clear about what I need . . .. and before you shoot me down from asking too much from my friend I do loads for him I promise . . .. what do you think (*runs and hides)



I hope you know you are one of the special people in my life. These are the people i can trust. All I ask of you is that you send me a text (doesn't have to say anything other than "xx" or "hugs" ) every couple of days. To me it means the world to know you are out there, you occasionally think of me and that you care. It may not make sense to you but to me it is as important as the coffee I get for you, the food I provide and the hats I find to make sure you are ok.
And I know at the moment we are talking loads which is great and lovely but I never want you to find our friendship a burden. You do your own thing I do mine for a lot of the time, but just checking in to make sure each other is ok is really important to me . .. .



kraftiekortie
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15 Aug 2017, 5:49 pm

Sounds pretty cool to me.....



Anngables
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15 Aug 2017, 5:50 pm

Thanks Kraftie he seems cool with it too which is the main thing I guess ;-)



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Aug 2017, 2:30 am

I too want a girl who provides me coffee and food in return of xx texts.

Anngables, can I get a sample of your DNA? For cloning purposes.



Anngables
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16 Aug 2017, 4:55 am

Ha ha :D :D



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Aug 2017, 9:15 am

Anngables wrote:
Ha ha :D :D



XX


Now send me a pizza.



hurtloam
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16 Aug 2017, 10:47 am

I'm glad things are working out. It's hard to see the whole picture when it's only a little bit of text on a forum.

Maybe I'll start texting my friends more as it obviously cheers you up. Too much love to go round can't be a bad thing :)


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Anngables
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16 Aug 2017, 12:43 pm

Funny you should mention pizza Boo cos I made home made pizza for friends on our day out on Sunday . . . It was yum.

Hurtloam - yes send more texts. . .. just check up on people and tell them, you care. Means the world to us weird NTs . . . ..
:D :heart: :D



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Aug 2017, 1:36 pm

Annga, It wasn't a coincidence.

I just know - I see you ( | )



Anngables
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16 Aug 2017, 3:25 pm

I am making more pizza (festival weekend this weekend) can you smell it Boo?



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2017, 2:54 am

*sniff sniff*

You need to add more raw pepper.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2017, 3:02 am

Talking about pizza....here are some of my homemade pizzas:

Image

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