Why are women so triggered by the friendzone?

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SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 3:11 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It's cup war.


Jeez man this kinda stuff just idk excites me. This is like I'm playing league as a diamond smurf with bronze players screaming about "their team holding them back." Accountability is an amazing concept.



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15 Sep 2017, 3:12 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It's cup war.


Two girl posters and one cup.

*shudders*


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15 Sep 2017, 3:14 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:

And that's why women struggle with accountability. You dropped the cup, it doesn't matter if it was an accident you dropped the cup. lol


Ok fine its both peoples fault...the startler and the startled. Both should be accountable...they should both kneel down on the ground by the pieces and tearfully apologize to each other for causing the accident.


No this isn't how the real world works. This isn't how life works holy s**t. You dropped the cup its your fault. If the man dropped the cup its HIS fault.


But whos fault is it that someone got startled in the first place...I guess if we admit the person around the corner is at fault for startling then the person who drops a cup due to startling is at fault for dropping it. It's just not a good senerio to describe a situation where only one person is at fault.


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15 Sep 2017, 3:15 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
New thread title: Why are women so triggered by broken crockery?

I'm really done now. I have to go and empty the washing machine and tidy up the kitchen.

thank you for amusing me on a boring Friday evening. :wink:


And this, is why we can't grow as people and deal with real situations like this. As soon as a real question gets asked that forces you to self evaluate how you view yourself, and the world. All the response becomes is first the answer you believe, then when the person asks you to reevaluate you belittle, poke fun at, and make little of the situation. This question is one of the best questions you can ask if you are looking for a woman/partner with a good head on their shoulder. It literally defines what kind of person you are, also the bad part about it is men with game/red pill morals/ dangerous men will typically answer it with the chivalry answer sadly.

Altho this has nothing to do with chivalry anyway.


I wasn't poking fun. I'm interested in psychology and influences and I really am wondering why you would think people would react they way you think they would in your analogy. I genuinely want to know if you have been in a situation like this where you've done something accidental and a women has gone mental at you and blamed you for something that wasn't your fault. It would make this whole conversation make more sense.

Just because someone can't see the point you are making doesn't mean that they haven't thought about your question. I find aspies frustrating to talk to some times because they have ideas that they hold on to like a dog with a bone and won't broaden out the conversation. It just goes round and round with them trying to make you see things the way they do and if you don't then they think you are deluded or stupid.

You have to forgive me for having a sense of humour.

Image

edit - why can't I post gifs :cry:



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hurtloam
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15 Sep 2017, 3:21 pm

You know what is my fault. My kitchen is a tip and I'm still putting off tidying it up. No one to blame but myself since I live alone. I accept full responsibility. The crumbs on the worktop are mine and mine alone.



Last edited by hurtloam on 15 Sep 2017, 3:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

funeralxempire
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15 Sep 2017, 3:22 pm

hurtloam wrote:
https://giphy.com/gifs/80s-comedy-1986-Uv8OQCBe4Qeru


Image

No idea. Why can't you? :P



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15 Sep 2017, 3:22 pm

:?

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
There are an absolute ton of posts on this forum from men blaming women for how they behave. This forum in itself counters your hypothesis.


Stop being logical and reasonable. We're not here to criticize men or their actions or their reasons for refusing to take responsibility for their actions - if you try expect to hear cries of misandry. We're here to criticize women, their actions and their reasons for refusing to take responsibility for their actions - in broad generalizations that assume they're all the same nonetheless - but how dare anyone suggest there's misogyny afoot. :lol:


I'm not saying women CANNOT take responsibility for their actions nor am I putting men on some giant pedstal.

All I'm doing is making a point in how we think differently and it causes this clash that women don't understand and few men do.

You dropped the cup if you dropped the cup. That's how men typically will answer this question.
He startled me, it's no ones fault, its his fault for startling me, I can't control startling, etc. These are every answer each girl I've asked online or in real life have given me and more. I think out of as many times I've asked this question which is a s**t ton I have had two girls say. "I f****d up I dropped the cup." One even said my bad was her response. Those two I find it refreshing to talk to because we can have real discussions about stuff like dating/men etc.


The males typical response doesn't answer the entire question of who's fault it is in that case, and none of those other responses deny that the person who dropped the cup dropped it.


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funeralxempire
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15 Sep 2017, 3:23 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It's cup war.


Jeez man this kinda stuff just idk excites me. This is like I'm playing league as a diamond smurf with bronze players screaming about "their team holding them back." Accountability is an amazing concept.



It's more like you're level one and the level 10s are smacking you around for their own amusement like a ball of yarn being swatted about by cats. :lol:



SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 3:25 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:

And that's why women struggle with accountability. You dropped the cup, it doesn't matter if it was an accident you dropped the cup. lol


Ok fine its both peoples fault...the startler and the startled. Both should be accountable...they should both kneel down on the ground by the pieces and tearfully apologize to each other for causing the accident.


No this isn't how the real world works. This isn't how life works holy s**t. You dropped the cup its your fault. If the man dropped the cup its HIS fault.


But whos fault is it that someone got startled in the first place...I guess if we admit the person around the corner is at fault for startling then the person who drops a cup due to startling is at fault for dropping it. It's just not a good senerio to describe a situation where only one person is at fault.


But that's the point. If the blame must fall somewhere because you dropped the cup it's yours to bear. He did not intentionally startle you. You were startled by his presence of him being there. You dropped the cup.



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15 Sep 2017, 3:29 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


Yup, I believe it is called the startle reflex...lol men cannot control it any better than women.


Or does he mean that cheating is as innate as the startle reflex?


I am really not sure where he was trying to go with that to be honest. Lol also don't understand what is so hard about seeing women as individuals for some people on this forum of autistic individuals. Yes there are female stereotypes, yes there are females who fit a lot of them doesn't mean women who don't fit a given stereotype are mythical creatures that don't exist.

But hey if all the stereotypes about women are true for all women and any women who says she doesn't fit a stereotype is in 'denial' I wonder if that means all the stereotypes about men are true and any man claiming differently is in denial as well. I mean sure I will stop complaining when people express this mentality about women, If men here stop complaining and denying they fit generalizations made about men.


....Men cheat all the f*****g time. But when they do they know they f****d up they deal with that gult and the consequences. No one pushed them to cheat, they cheated their fault. It's not about women being genrealized as bad. It's about women having issues with true accountability for their actions, for them being unable to see that they are human and can actually f**k up and it be there fault. Women say I would never cheat, then they cheat and say he made me feel special.

That doesn't matter how he made you feel. Because cheating is wrong and you did it. At some point this clicks when I have these discussions with girls. I know it will too for you.


Well I have to say cheating isn't something I have given much thinking to. For one I am in a good relationship with my boyfriend and care deeply for him and there is no dissatisfaction in the relationship.

I have dated various guys, and have never cheated or wanted to thus far even when things were questionable then I just considered breaking it off so I could find someone better but not getting with someone without breaking up first.

The thought of some guy other than my boyfriend trying to get romantically close to me, makes me very angry the thought doesn't make me feel special whatsoever. Who are they to decide my relationship is something that can just be tossed into the garbage just like that?


Slightly impressed by that answer. Not sure if it totally applies to this cup situation but still impressed.

In order to keep your relationship with your partner going strong though uhhh I would ask you take a gander at this when you get a chance.

http://womensinfidelity.com/women-infidelity-4/


Sweetleaf is quite special in this regard. I don't like kissing people's asses, but she always striked me as a genuinely good person. I don't think more than 1% thinks like this though.



SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 3:29 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
:?
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
There are an absolute ton of posts on this forum from men blaming women for how they behave. This forum in itself counters your hypothesis.


Stop being logical and reasonable. We're not here to criticize men or their actions or their reasons for refusing to take responsibility for their actions - if you try expect to hear cries of misandry. We're here to criticize women, their actions and their reasons for refusing to take responsibility for their actions - in broad generalizations that assume they're all the same nonetheless - but how dare anyone suggest there's misogyny afoot. :lol:


I'm not saying women CANNOT take responsibility for their actions nor am I putting men on some giant pedstal.

All I'm doing is making a point in how we think differently and it causes this clash that women don't understand and few men do.

You dropped the cup if you dropped the cup. That's how men typically will answer this question.
He startled me, it's no ones fault, its his fault for startling me, I can't control startling, etc. These are every answer each girl I've asked online or in real life have given me and more. I think out of as many times I've asked this question which is a s**t ton I have had two girls say. "I f****d up I dropped the cup." One even said my bad was her response. Those two I find it refreshing to talk to because we can have real discussions about stuff like dating/men etc.


The males typical response doesn't answer the entire question of who's fault it is in that case, and none of those other responses deny that the person who dropped the cup dropped it.


In order to have a better world where we grow, where people learn from their mistakes carefully analyze what they do. The cup is their fault for dropping it. The cup should be your fault. You should be held accountable. Now if the other party due to circumstances decides to not hold you accountable or come up with a resolution that doesn't hold you totally accountable so be it. But you dropped the cup.

This can translate to other situations easily. But the cup is the least graphic and simplest one.



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15 Sep 2017, 3:34 pm

Kissing ass can be quite arousing, as long it's not on the butthole...



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15 Sep 2017, 3:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Kissing ass can be quite arousing, as long it's not on the butthole...


I am getting deja vu for some reason...



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15 Sep 2017, 3:50 pm

sly279 wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
But here is the funny thing: a 40 year old woman who doesn't want kids (depends on the woman), has a career and probably already owns a house, is also less likely to care if the guy she dates has much income. Some women that age are just looking for company. That can be true of some women in their 30's, as well. Just saying.

(I'll be clear in case anyone gets confused: I'm married. Happily. Definitely not making any suggestions involving self-interest, just doing what older married women do: trying to help younger people find their person)

You've also touched on a subject that I could write pages and pages on: why fewer men than women are going to college. To keep it short, it isn't because men are less intelligent or have lower prospects, but because of changes in our education system and perceptions. Having both a son and a daughter, I think we've made a few mistakes in getting to this place, and it will make things more difficult for those in the dating world. Or ... the next generation will totally change their expectations, which would be positive for you. Who knows. But watching this all play out with my own children and their friends has been difficult at times. The rule of unintended consequences often has a huge effect on society.


That's not true. I read 40,50,50,70 old women's ads too. They see s guy who doesn't own a house and have a good job as just going to be mooching off them. It won't get better for me when I'm a senior nor will I want a relationship at that point and god willing I'll be dead before then unless I somehow got s gf/wife.
My future is super depressing and down hill. Reality is the women who'd been more likely to accept my income are/were 18/19/20 olds. But that ship has sailed long ago I'm 29 soon to be 30 :'(

Society as a whole transitioned into how to help women succeed over men. How can we make women's lives better. Men are left to make due. The way we educate kids was changed to geared towards females, to make up for the years of gearing towards men, but that's not equality, like those who suggest whites be taken as slaves to make up for black slavery, that just create a viscous cycle. Likewise with how society treats men and women now, men are becoming resentful, perhaps in 40 years it'll shift back towards men, I'd rather we find a way to balance it between both males and females.

How'd it be positive for me? That generation is like 10 , so at 18, I'll be 38 so basically 40 not that I'd want to but some 18 old girl won't date me at 30 they won't date a worthless 40'old loser. Maybe it'll be better for some men from that generation but me and men from mine are screwed.


I realize that the majority of women are still going to look for someone "equal," but I personally know of exceptions. 40 year old women that are committed to staying single (which is a relatively small percentage) are the most likely to enjoy dating a 30 year old and not worry about his prospects. It still may be only 1 in 20 or 1 in 100, but guys like you aren't the norm, either, so the ratio isn't a problem, its how difficult it might be for you to find each other.

Yes, we need to find a way to balance opportunity between males and females.

What I meant with that comment is that if women of your generation realize the prospects of an "equal" are difficult and decide to ditch the expectation, that would be better for you. I don't know if that will happen soon enough, however.


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