How can I tell my girlfriend she is fat?

Page 16 of 36 [ 569 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 ... 36 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Hopelessly3
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 11 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 58

06 Dec 2017, 9:15 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

imagine having sex with your guy while he's half your height. No butts

Cat23
Raven
Raven

Joined: 6 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 109
Location: Australia

06 Dec 2017, 9:20 pm

Don’t ask me to imagine sleeping with a guy with curly hair Boo that would be grossssssser than a midget so I’m guessing it’s personal preference

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

07 Dec 2017, 12:37 am

If I had a girlfriend, and she suddenly gained 50 pounds, I’d still want to be her boyfriend.

As long as she keeps herself clean. And keeps being sweet and feminine. And she keeps having a soothing voice.

It’s the person more than the vulva. I have been with pretty hefty women whose lovelies still looked lovely.

fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

07 Dec 2017, 4:50 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

fluffysaurus wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

goldfish21 wrote:

MidnightMoon wrote:

How about just accepting her the way she is?

Why do people say this as if sexual attraction should only matter the moment you meet someone?

Why should anyone accept their partner getting too fat, or too thin, or ____ that otherwise makes them sexually unattractive to them?

Seriously. I think it's ridiculous. He didn't meet a fat girl & was never attracted to a fat girl so why should he be with one?

Same goes for other changes in appearance or behaviour. If she was nice, and now she's not, why stay? If she was reasonable and responsible, but now spends money recklessly & is accumulating debt she'll never pay off, why stay?

If the things you were initially attracted to someone by are no longer present in that person or your relationship, it's time to have an adult conversation about getting back to where you both were Or parting ways and carrying on with your lives individually.

That’s why I asked earlier the ladies in the thread the fictive question what would happen if their partners suddenly became shorter than them (because I know most women would never consider a man shorter than them) / most dodged the question that this is impossible to happen (duh! no kidding ladies!).

Sorry didn't mean to dodge the question, I got distracted by the fact that I couldn't think of a way for that to happen that wouldn't involve them being dead, and dead isn't an attractive look on anyone.
Would I dump someone I loved if they got shorter (but didn't die) than me? no. would I mind them being a lot shorter? yes, but I wouldn't break up over it. Ideally a guy would be taller than me, but if you like someone you adjust your idea of what you find acceptable to fit them.

Ok,now close your eyes, and imagine having sex with your guy while he's half your height. No buts, just do this experiment now.

And tell us back if you were capable to fantasize of such.

No, I got stuck at 'imagine having sex with your guy'

_________________
climate change petition, please sign

Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.

OutsideView
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Oct 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,022
Location: England ^not male but apparently you can't change it

07 Dec 2017, 5:29 am

I love my husband and wouldn't stop loving him just because he got short. Having sex with someone good looking is great but having sex with someone you love is even better (I'm not quite good enough at imagining things to say if I'd still find him attractive or not). Guess it might be quite impractical though!

_________________
Silence lies steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House. And we who walk here, walk alone.

Esme
Snowy Owl

Joined: 16 May 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 157
Location: UK

07 Dec 2017, 8:50 am

This may annoy a lot of people, but I know many (many) women that will get into a relationship with someone they find attractive 'enough' or just 'ok', so they can get a certain lifestyle that they couldn't afford as a single person (car, house, pets, someone to go out to places with, etc). Normally the man is a more submissive type of person already in this dynamic. Then fairly early into the relationship (maybe 2-3 years) they will start to let themselves go. Gradual weight gain, stop initiating sex, stop flirting, stop dressing up or cut off all their hair, etc. I've seen this time and time again with friends, family and colleagues. Instead of finding someone they love, the women just pair up with a man who they know will be 'useful' to them and then treat them like a housemate with (non sexual) benefits. I have a colleague who openly brags about doing this. She has been with her boyfriend for almost ten years and will happily flirt with other men right in front of him. She has gained at least a stone in weight just while I've known her and won't try to lose it (despite her boyfriend preferring thinner women) as she knows he doesn't have the confidence to leave. I find it really difficult to not respond when she laughs about it at work.

For me, making an effort to remain attractive to your partner shows that you care about their opinion and have respect for them (I would expect a man to remain slim as well). It's almost taboo for men to complain about their partner's weight gain these days, but if you are not attracted to someone then you may as well just be friends and date other people. To me, it's just deceptive to start dating while looking like Person A and then morph into Person B as soon as they 'catch' a man, but expect them not to complain.

Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

07 Dec 2017, 8:59 am

Esme wrote:

Great post.

I'd say this accounts for around 50% of all couples I know. People seriously underestimate how much power a woman can have in the relationship. I'd say the primary reason for this assymetry comes from the fact that it is much easier for the average woman to find new mates/hookups compared to the average man. This keeps the man in checkmate.

Kiki1256
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Oct 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 815
Location: Somewhere...

07 Dec 2017, 9:08 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Kiki1256 wrote:

Cook her a light, healthy meal like grilled chicken and vegetables and tell her she should eat it because you made it. And go on a date to the gym. That’s my advice.

Hey, those are pretty good ideas!

Thanks!

Fireblossom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,567

07 Dec 2017, 10:10 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Come on ladies...come on.

For once in WP history, give us a damn clear-cut answer to a question: Yes or No?

Stop avoiding...

So the question is: would you still find your partner attractive if he suddenly became half of your height? Did I understand correctly?

If I did, then the answer is that I'm not sure. I don't think I'd find someone who is only half of my height from the start attractive, but if a person I'm already in love with became like that somehow... well, I certainly wouldn't leave him then and there. A sudden change like that would take time to get used to and as a person who doesn't deal well with big changes I might find him unattractive at first and attractive again when I got used to it... kind of like if a guy got a huge tattoo; the change could disturb me so much that it'd take a while to be able to look at them the same way. But I'm not denying the possibility that I couldn't get used to it, either... but I think I could.

And now I throw a question to the guys here: would you date a girl who is half taller than you? What if you had a girlfriend as tall as you who suddenly became half taller? Would you still stay with her?

magz
Forum Moderator

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

07 Dec 2017, 10:32 am

Fireblossom wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Come on ladies...come on.

For once in WP history, give us a damn clear-cut answer to a question: Yes or No?

Stop avoiding...

So the question is: would you still find your partner attractive if he suddenly became half of your height? Did I understand correctly?

The only realistic situation of that happening would be him having his legs cut off. Well, at least this is the only hypothetical situation matching this description that I really can imagine myself in.
And in this case my answer is: probably yes. Althought if he just lost his legs, he would probably be depressed and I would need to help him get out of depression for the attractiveness to surface.

_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>

XFilesGeek
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,031
Location: The Oort Cloud

07 Dec 2017, 10:54 am

IMHO, approach her about it, but make sure she understands that you're coming from a place of concern in regards to her mental and physical well-being.

_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."

-XFG (no longer a moderator)

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

07 Dec 2017, 11:11 am

I wouldn't approach her about it at all.

I'm sure she knows she's gaining weight.

fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

07 Dec 2017, 11:26 am

sly279 wrote:

fluffysaurus wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

goldfish21 wrote:

MidnightMoon wrote:

How about just accepting her the way she is?

They could be in an accident have their legs cut off and feet reattached at their knees.
Would you find them attractive still? Would you resent them and that resentment gradually grow more and more. Would you want to be physically intimate with them?

What I seem to be getting is a lot of women will stick with a guy they no longer find attractive or want to be intimate with, why?

I don’t think people can adjust what they find attractive, if they could gay people could make themselves straight, this is proven to be impossible. People find attractive what they find attractive it’s unchangable. If you don’t find fat people attractive no amount of pep talk will make you find them attractive. Attraction is key to physically intamacy which is key to relationships for non asexuals.

It’s why I’m alone forever. Women can’t make themselves feel attracted to loser like me.

I used to work with a guy who, when he started I did not find attractive at all, he was obese and his face was quite boyish (he was also younger than me) by the time we had worked together for about 6 months I really fancied him. He was really nice, but the main thing was that we had the same sense of humour. By that point he had a girlfriend so I didn't say anything, and I don't think it would have worked anyway because of the age dif.

I didn't mean you can make yourself find someone attractive, I meant that if you like someone they become more attractive to you, and if you love someone they remain attractive despite something like loosing their legs. Yes physical attraction is important, for most people to feel towards their partner but it is not a simple straight forward thing, because people are complicated.

_________________
climate change petition, please sign

Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

07 Dec 2017, 11:36 am

^^^ I agree. Once you get to know a person better, one's physical "attributes" become less important.

I've experienced this many times.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

07 Dec 2017, 1:21 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

fluffysaurus wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

goldfish21 wrote:

MidnightMoon wrote:

How about just accepting her the way she is?

Ok,now close your eyes, and imagine having sex with your guy while he's half your height. No buts, just do this experiment now.

And tell us back if you were capable to fantasize of such.

No, I got stuck at 'imagine having sex with your guy'

You’re still f*****g in your mind?

Wake up! It’s not real!

fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

07 Dec 2017, 1:54 pm

^ Typical, now I'm enjoying myself you want me to stop.

_________________
climate change petition, please sign

Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.

Page 16 of 36 [ 569 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 ... 36 Next

Jump to:

How can I tell my girlfriend she is fat? Post Reply New Topic

How can I tell my girlfriend she is fat?