Am I being too jealous/possessive?

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Anna_K
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 9 Jun 2014
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 453

21 Dec 2017, 5:48 pm

I was casually texting my boyfriend last night and I asked him what he was doing. He told me that he just finished class and was chilling with a friend. I asked him who it was and he told me it was this girl that our friend Emily introduced to him. I got kinda suspicious. Why wouldn't he have told me before I had to ask? He just said "a friend" which is vague and that puts me on edge. And he was hanging out with her one on one too. I trust him around other girls in a group setting but why is he hanging out with her alone? Why does he need to hang out with other females (that aren't related to him) one on one when I can give him the same things as his girlfriend?

He was my platonic friend for 6 years and I do trust him but I've been lied to and hurt badly in my past relationships and I start to feel insecure at times. I feel like I'm just gonna be left for the next best thing for the third time. He is a naturally friendly, popular person who treats me well without terrible past relationship history. I feel like this girl is just there to screw things up. I don't have proof of anything shady going on but I won't relax till I know whats happening. We were doing so well until this happened. Everyone I know says that he loves me and wouldn't betray me like that and I shouldn't end the relationship but idk what to think.

I feel bad about confronting him cuz he put effort to get me a nice christmas gift and spend time with me on Sunday and in return he'll probably get me in his face interrogating him. Plus I already got mad at him yesterday cuz he didn't wanna make plans on Friday night, apparently the last time we did he got in trouble for getting home too late (he's 18). Now I think that he's gonna hang out with her that night :/ I just really need to know. How do I ask him? Or should I even bring it up to him? :?: :?: :| Also how do I get over those jealous feelings and being insecure?



lazyflower
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 4 Sep 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 136

21 Dec 2017, 6:37 pm

I know the feeling and how hard it can be. Though you said he's a friendly and popular person, so that's most likely why he wants to hang out with this girl. He wants to have many friends. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you as his girlfriend though or that he's gonna cheat. Acknowledging that the feelings of jealousy and insecurity stem from bad past experiences and aren't an indicator of "real" reason for you to have those feelings, might be helpful



Fireblossom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,565

22 Dec 2017, 8:42 am

Yes, you are. Your boyfriend is allowed to have other female friends and hang out with them, including one on one if he wants to. It's completely normal and not something to worry about.

However, since you are worried I suggest you talk to him about it. Tell him how it makes you feel and think what you can do about it, together.