Une question pour les femmes

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I would ask a different question to the OP: suppose your gf suddenly got a lifelong condition rendering her unable to have any sex.
What would you do about it? Honestly?

All women are completely evil and only want guys for their money, so he'll be dumped or divorced in six months.

I'm a woman so it's okay to say that, right?

That's off topic, make your own threads.

You refuse to answer.
Okay, no problem.
I don't need another thread, my curiosity is satisfied.

My answer is something you would never expect.

But...your reverse psychology tactic won't work on me.

Meanwhile, I used to be just about as good a student as you could possibly be given my environment. Alas, there were no such competitions for me, and my parents’ only concern was that I studied too much and they had to keep pressuring me to study less with no regard for the consequences. They considered it part of my mental illness, whichever this was, since they didn’t know anything like the disorder formerly known as Asperger’s syndrome existed yet—I just had to be mentally ill. And they got angry with me for the time I spent studying, since they felt I wasn’t available enough to them while I was studying.



Another alien concept to me. In my experience, the only thing academic success brings you is general contempt from others. Everyone despises nerds.



And since I never got anything remotely looking like a realistic chance to date, I never gained that kind of experience. But you can be sure if I can’t get a successful girlfriend (which sounds like a terrible joke, since I don’t expect any woman at all to ever feel the slightest interest in me, let alone a successful one), it’ll never be because I don’t like her success, but because she can’t stand my lack of it. Success, not ambition—I am as ambitious as you can possibly be, but I’m no good at all trying to get ahead while depending on someone more interested in limiting my chances of success than in boosting them, and this is the situation I’ve always been in. Living under a communist regime that kept me fed and clad while studying to my heart’s content, even if I actually had to work, too, but without the constant threat of finding myself on the streets doomed to certain death would be paradise itself to me, but, of course, it’d be unfair to the people the government robbed to support me.

Ask anyone who works in the medical field what happens when in committed long term relationships between men and women one of them gets cancer. Or you could just google the stats on divorce after cancer diagnosis, and they will tell you: husbands are much more likely to leave a sick wife than the other way around.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/33832513/ns/h ... tPCqn8h29I

http://www.newsweek.com/why-men-leave-w ... ives-76637

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/why- ... cancer/all

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/ ... th-cancer/

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2 ... 105401.htm

In the United States, most women do not leave their husband if the husband is no longer able to work due to illness. In the U.S. there are some safety nets if someone has a chronic illness or becomes injured and there are some safety nets for families with children so the family is often supported with what the wife can earn in combination with the safety net but she pulls an immense workload being the bread winner and also taking on the domestic duties and carrying for the kids and her husband. Men in the U.S. are 6 times more likely to leave an ill wife than a wife is to leave an ill husband.

As for him losing his job for other reasons, I think that results in more divorce but I think this has to do more with the attitude the men adopt than the actual lack of income.

Some men, when they lose their job and have difficulty finding another one, give up entirely fall in to a depression where they lounge around all dat and even actively try to push their wives and family away and start fights because of the stress of the burden of feeling like they must support a family when they can't or ideas that their wife and family would be better without them. The wife, who, like the wife of the ill man, has taken on the burden of trying to be both bread winner and care giver, but without the same size of safety net, eventually becomes fed up with this behavior and his failure to help out when he can, and his poor treatment of her, and a divorce results.

I had a relative with terminal cancer and her husband did not leave but they had a young child and help from both sides of the family. I know of a number of women who have had breast cancer though and while all of them survived, it resulted in divorce for two of the ones who were married and the single ones find that the men they have dated find the scars a deterrent. Even when the breasts are reconstructed they lack nipples and have deep scars and it seems many men just find that very disturbing.

I made a mistake on the statistics. I apologize.

Men are 7 times more likely to leave a wife with a serious illness than women are to leave a husband with a serious illness. Not 6 times.

Are they comparing the same type of illness though, like illnesses that cause permanent physical deformation or total disability?

1- I think maybe it is also 'socially' expected from wives to stick to sick husbands - social double standards perhaps, but that does not mean wives wouldn't get sex from elsewhere and there's no way to tell that in stats- that if they have strong urges/drive.

2- if the woman is a housewife, non-working, then there's a financial benefit not to leave the husband who may got his retirement payment, and may stick to him for the sake of kids . Men on the other often don't rely on their women financially as much.
So the not leaving reasons may not always be total loyalty or blind love.

3- In Christian societies, stats show that women are often more devout religiously than men; hence more likely to respect the church vows.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 16 Apr 2018, 1:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Were your parents simply jerks? What they did sucked.

Anglo-Saxon background?
From what I hear about high schools in US or Australia, I find something terribly wrong with their culture, esp. when it comes to this stage of education. The kids are just encouraged to all the spectrum of disfunctional behaviors instead of using this time to learn something useful or interesting. It's so wrong and it baffles me why the society just accepts it this way.

I genuinely believe you. Communist regime sucked in many aspects, adding to all the downsides of any regime, it was economically inefficient to the point it finally collapsed. But at least people were not encouraged to be greedy jerks.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... r-comments

This is an interesting "thread" article on dailymail; most of the female commenters there don't condemn her (at least judging by their chosen aliases such as 'Sarah' and 'Cassie').

I am pretty sure people with disabled spouses are way more likely to have an affair.

As for the commenters, ladies tend to try to be supportive. This is just another example of the phenomenon.
But I think the story also confirms what some ladies here (including myself) told: The disability itself is a way bigger challenge than loss of husband's income.

But disability doesn't always mean loss of income - there are good retirement payments if his previous career was six figures or so, are you telling me that Michael Schumacher's wealth is poor now for example?

You originally asked ladies what they would do if their man, for whatever reason, permanently lost his ability to generate income.
As I applied this question to my particular husband, I couldn't imagine this without him severely disabled.
And decided his disability would be a way bigger challenge, both practically and emotionally, than loss of his income (even thought right now he is the main provider in the household).

Still, the disability is the main problem.

Of course, with money many practical issues are easier to overcome. Like you can hire a personal nurse and adapt your house for the disabled person's needs. Like the wife doesn't need to go to full-time job together with caring for the children and the disabled spouse. With more money, whatever the source, many practical problems are easier to solve.
But it's a whole different topic.

Last edited by magz on 16 Apr 2018, 2:40 am, edited 1 time in total.