Intimidating appearance and feeling like a small kid inside.

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I feel as if i'm learning to see with new eyes, metaphorically. i didnt go out and steal a pair of eyeballs... honest

i just saw a photo of myself, taken during the event. Instead of an ogre, i saw a human block of concrete with a bit of a pudgy face. i'd call that progress... right?

i have a lot to digest and that is partially because of this forum. so thank you, to those who keep responding. and hopefully some of my revelations(which im still digesting) can help other feel a bit more positive.

Not only do I miss the right signals but I unintentionally give out the wrong ones. I'm straight but I've been asked out by more women than men, it's the reason I've grown my hair, and why I paint my nails (I know those are stereotypes but those are what NT's live by so what can I do). I'm not wearing heals, though, I'd just fall flat on my face.

I think this is fairly common. One of my friends. Two of my friends are big, imposing looking men but one of them is shy and sensitive and has a lot of anxiety and the other used to lament how he wished he weren't so tall because he didn't get the emotional support he needed.

I’m a shrimp who feels like a big kid. I’m a chubby 80 kg, at 164 cms tall.

Seriously....this group therapy thing just might help. It offers the perspective of other people.

depending on where you are, that can be average height. it is fun for me to visit a country where people are far shorter. great little ego boost

going to be hard to do, when already kinda short, i suppose.

speaking frankly, being short must kinda suck.

Kraftie and I should go to Japan together and wear the same clothing, we would be a great duo me being 2,02m and he being 1,64m. Fantastic! He would miauw in the subway and I would howl. Great fun!

My first crush was 1,49m, she could fit in my pocket but was so freaking cute. Feeling was mutual by the way. Just because of peer pressure never became a thing which is a shame.

2,02 m? dang, compared to you we would all look like puppies. I suppose hanging out with Wolf is the answer to how not to look intimidating yourself

My size can be intimidating and people look at me like I am some sort of giant from Greek mythology sometimes but I always smile and am a gentleman. When you get above 1,95m it becomes a disadvantage and women start finding it too big and unattractive.

good thing I'm slightly under that then , but it's already disadvantageous in many ways, so I can imagine it's even worse for you.

it's a strange feeling to realise you look frightening to most people.

i am beginning to understand my size and adapt to it. going to take me a while and i find it hard to explain. it almost feels like i went to sleep like a little kid and woke up in this massive adult body and i dont know what to do with it...

if that makes sense

Ya, kinda. I'm not as big as you are.. so the magnitude isn't quite the same. But still, at 6'2" 206.5lbs when I go for a run, especially at night, if others are out walking they tend to get out of the way like they're avoiding me attacking them or something. I actually did scare some kid (17-19yo?) one night.. I thought he was breaking into cars so I followed him and he ran up to a house with an open garage and stopped and I stopped and talked to him there to make sure he wasn't up to no good because he ran - it was his house, he ran because he was scared of me & said "it's a rough neighbourhood!" (not really, there's been several shootings blocks away - but it's not a neighbourhood overrun by crime or anything - just local drug dealers shooting at each other in turf wars.)

Be. Refuel with group therapy. I found it initially to make me socially smarter but later it began to make less happy and more weird. What goes inside group therapy is not often normal in real life

i once scared the crap out of a few dudes by zooming past. i had to catch a train and i used to actually run back then. (terrible knees)
that was funny.

what i meant by the group therapy comment, i'll try to explain a bit better.

we have 2 therapists present and leading the conversation and topic, etc. they also provide the "normal" mirror. they explain to us, whilst we compare notes, what it's like for normal people in the same situation. which is incredibly useful.

comparing what is actually the norm vs what I find normal is a very useful toolset to have. The plan is to loose weight, clean up my act as it were(mostly my room...).
hopefully, being less bulky will help shave down the intimidation factor, i seem to have

Im glad to report that I'm slightly less fat than I was. from 134KGs to 120KGs. Hurray

Congratz

That's excellent, Tanker...a loss of two and a little more full Stones! Or about 32 pounds or so.