Trying to Deal with Emotional Needs

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zacb
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26 Jul 2018, 12:28 am

So as of late I have been dealing with my ego and other emotional baggage. I realized that I want someone to tell me I am ok, as I feel left out from the majority of society and feel more psychopathic towards society as time goes on. Any how, I feel like my desperation for a mate can be summed up in the fact that I want to heal over my depression and extreme existentialism of my teens. I feel like even when I have things to do, they are not enough to keep me occupied, so I go down Maslows pyramid for lower goals and act desperate about it (since companionship could be construed as a baseline need in the pyramid). The thing is, as of late there has been nothing that has been able to capture my attention enough and captivate me enough as to not get somewhat bored with it (part of that is depression), even including things like game theory, economics, programming, etc. . Despite having a plethora of things to do, I have been getting bored easily and trying to get a woman, but I feel like that is to compensate as I feel truly left out from growing up. Anyone else feel this way? Only other thing that might be fast enough for me is the stock market, but then I feel like by obsessing over that, I am just creating an addiction in that way (even if I don't borrow margin or gamble per se).



DW_a_mom
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26 Jul 2018, 6:45 pm

I like the level of introspection you are engaging in, and hope you can use the process to find some solutions for yourself. What you can't expect is for a relationship to fix anything for you. It just doesn't work that way. Your problems can ruin relationships, but relationships cannot fix your problems.

In answer to your wondering if anyone else shares any of your feelings, while I can't relate, you reference a lot of things I've heard from my son at different points over the years. So, I suspect my son could relate to much of it if he were here, even if his issues and thoughts aren't exactly the same.


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zacb
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27 Jul 2018, 1:23 am

And in that lies the rub. My problems came from not being showed attention by my peers as I grew up + now having zilch in terms of physical friends, but I get if I am too desperate that people won't like me for that, but there are very few things that are powerful enough to take my mind off the situation, except maybe trading stocks, but I feel like I am becoming addicted to something to get my mind off of it, since my mind tends to wonder if it has nothing to focus on.



DW_a_mom
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27 Jul 2018, 5:13 pm

Have you considered taking "for fun" classes in areas that interest you? Community centers and junior colleges are good places to look. Being in a class gives you a natural platform for interacting with people. It still won't be easy, but it could be a start. Practice being friendly with anyone and everyone. In a world full of degrees of separation, you never know where a friendship can lead you, even if it seems like the most unlikely friendship in the world.


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zacb
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31 Jul 2018, 3:01 pm

Well that is what I am trying to figure out: what do I want to do for fun. Krav Maga, Spanish, volunteer with my local government, join a local political party, and maybe join the Free Masons. Some of these are limited by the fact I am trying to save money, but others might be more doable. I think I will try to look into local government and the political party , even if I think the latter is disorganized, I need to kick the ass out of my depression. At this point not finding much more to do besides a coding group I go to.