Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Learning how to date or be in a relationship

Page 3 of 3 [ 42 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Previous topic | Next topic

jimmy m
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,553
Location: Indiana

31 Dec 2018, 3:48 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
I've also heard that in generations past, is that it used to be more common for couples to be set up, via match-making, similar to how arranged marriages work, that used the be more common world-wide, were set up by families, the church, community. So because of that, it sounds like cold approach or just approaching was not necessary back then as it is today. My guess is, correct me if i'm wrong, but a shy, awkward person of either gender, neither of them had the pressure or burden to initiate.


Back in the day, your brothers and sisters were commonly a link to dates. Your sister's girlfriends were all potential dates. And vice-versa. Two of my sisters married men in their church youth groups. Family and friends would always try and step in and propose potential matches. They were called blind dates. I suspect some of this continues even today.


_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."


colossalfailure
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 70

31 Dec 2018, 3:53 pm

Imo getting into a relationship is hard, being in one is easy. I dont wanna come across as sounding sexist but if you are a girl you pretty much just let the guy take the initiative



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,018
Location: California, United States

31 Dec 2018, 4:30 pm

jimmy m wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
I've also heard that in generations past, is that it used to be more common for couples to be set up, via match-making, similar to how arranged marriages work, that used the be more common world-wide, were set up by families, the church, community. So because of that, it sounds like cold approach or just approaching was not necessary back then as it is today. My guess is, correct me if i'm wrong, but a shy, awkward person of either gender, neither of them had the pressure or burden to initiate.


Back in the day, your brothers and sisters were commonly a link to dates. Your sister's girlfriends were all potential dates. And vice-versa. Two of my sisters married men in their church youth groups. Family and friends would always try and step in and propose potential matches. They were called blind dates. I suspect some of this continues even today.


I want to be sure im right, people can correct me, but my guess is, more shy, quiet people of both genders, had an equal chance of getting into a relationship many generations ago right?



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,089
Location: Sweden

31 Dec 2018, 4:42 pm

colossalfailure wrote:
Imo getting into a relationship is hard, being in one is easy. I dont wanna come across as sounding sexist but if you are a girl you pretty much just let the guy take the initiative


That's to simplistic. NT women send approach signals to men they are interested in. Some ND women send no signals at all and thus never are approached. Others send too much signals and get loads of unwanted attention. The primary problem of ND men is that they fail to recognize the interest signals NT women send and thus ask a lot of non interested women out and get rejected.

However, the main issue is that NDs should not try to date NTs as this likely won't work anyway.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Jan 2017
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,857

31 Dec 2018, 4:51 pm

colossalfailure wrote:
I dont wanna come across as sounding sexist but

And yet you do, consistently, with most of your comments. You make a lot of sexist comments that incels tend make on their forums, where they talk about how their being single is all the fault of women, and how women have it easy in the world and men have it hard, and how it's totally understandable when men rape women and children for these reasons. If you are participating in those kinds of online communities, I strongly suggest you get away from them before they damage your mental health irreparably and/or cause you to become violent.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,018
Location: California, United States

31 Dec 2018, 5:49 pm

I hate masculinity with a huge passion



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,880
Location: Stendec

31 Dec 2018, 7:42 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
colossalfailure wrote:
I dont wanna come across as sounding sexist but
And yet you do, consistently, with most of your comments. You make a lot of sexist comments that incels tend make on their forums, where they talk about how their being single is all the fault of women, and how women have it easy in the world and men have it hard, and how it's totally understandable when men rape women and children for these reasons. If you are participating in those kinds of online communities, I strongly suggest you get away from them before they damage your mental health irreparably and/or cause you to become violent.
I think they we may have seen the last of THAT colossal failure, at least under that name.

Stay vigilant.



AnneOleson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 May 2016
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,824
Location: Coventry

31 Dec 2018, 9:23 pm

Fnord wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
colossalfailure wrote:
I dont wanna come across as sounding sexist but
And yet you do, consistently, with most of your comments. You make a lot of sexist comments that incels tend make on their forums, where they talk about how their being single is all the fault of women, and how women have it easy in the world and men have it hard, and how it's totally understandable when men rape women and children for these reasons. If you are participating in those kinds of online communities, I strongly suggest you get away from them before they damage your mental health irreparably and/or cause you to become violent.
I think they we may have seen the last of THAT colossal failure, at least under that name.

Stay vigilant.

I was wondering!



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Jan 2017
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,857

31 Dec 2018, 9:31 pm

Fnord wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
colossalfailure wrote:
I dont wanna come across as sounding sexist but
And yet you do, consistently, with most of your comments. You make a lot of sexist comments that incels tend make on their forums, where they talk about how their being single is all the fault of women, and how women have it easy in the world and men have it hard, and how it's totally understandable when men rape women and children for these reasons. If you are participating in those kinds of online communities, I strongly suggest you get away from them before they damage your mental health irreparably and/or cause you to become violent.
I think they we may have seen the last of THAT colossal failure, at least under that name.

Stay vigilant.


It just seems so suspicious, he's only got like 30 comments and all of them sound just like incel ideological talking points. I would guess it's either trolling or he really is involved with those communities and trying to spread their message here. Either way it's not good. If he genuinely thinks these things he's saying, he needs help.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,018
Location: California, United States

12 Jan 2019, 2:52 am

I remember there is a post, thread, on the bodybuilding relationships forum, that brings up a good point about this