FoBAF (Fear of Being Alone Forever)

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SZWell
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15 Aug 2018, 10:55 am

I know what a NIMBY is but this article this morning threw me off with the term of YIMBY(How long has this been happening?)


https://www.citylab.com/equity/2018/08/ ... ys/567449/

Thanks for making this relevant OP.


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Canary
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19 Aug 2018, 6:26 pm

I don't think you should cut yourself off. Cutting back on time spent on apps might help, though. Constantly comparing themselves to others and dealing with rejection or awkwardness can wear on someone's mental health.



nick007
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20 Aug 2018, 12:00 pm

I know how you feel OP. I had NO luck at all getting women online even thou I was trying every site I could think of. I also had NO luck but bad trying to get women offline. I was trying since I was 20 after my 1st realtionship ended till I got in my 2nd at 28. I got in my current realtionship shortly after the 2nd ended. I met all 3 of my girlfriends on online forums. My personality comes off well to certain women after they've gotten to know me. I express myself better online but I don't make good 1st impressions & I look bad when my stats are listed on a profile so that's probably why dating sites never worked. I would of gone the male-order bride route if I had the money & resources & I would of took in a woman who needed a place to stay if I had my own place cuz it would of been a hell of a lot better than being alone for 8 years.


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22 Aug 2018, 1:06 am

I definitely know how the OP feels. Hopefully, you'll get over it at some point. I used to definitely be afraid I'd be alone forever, but eventually, I accepted it and feel better.



Babi dwr
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22 Aug 2018, 3:12 am

I am fearful of being alone, but I have to get used to it. The friends 'without' benefits senario is no fun believe me.

Im not prepared to look or even try to get together with another aspie man because inevitably they just want to be alone and your left hanging onto the threads of the masking you believed in the honeymoon period.

Whether thats true for how men see us women I dont know, but I just know If you try to accommodate your aspie man, to alleviate the asd probs, you end up alone anyway so whats the point.



Closet Genious
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22 Aug 2018, 5:33 am

ITTHAU MFBC, EOL FOBAF imo.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Aug 2018, 11:25 am

Closet Genious wrote:
ITTHAU MFBC, EOL FOBAF imo.



DYTH MAW IS WIT?



SZWell
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22 Aug 2018, 1:58 pm

Exactly.


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22 Aug 2018, 4:16 pm

You could end up with someone and still be a bitter old man. Or end up with no one and be perfectly happy. Don't let society determine what's right for you. Looking to someone else for happiness will always be risky. They could die. They could want a divorce at 70. You just never know. If you think you are going to get too old and ugly, that starts to matter less and less as you age.



sly279
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22 Aug 2018, 9:28 pm

Babi dwr wrote:
I am fearful of being alone, but I have to get used to it. The friends 'without' benefits senario is no fun believe me.

Im not prepared to look or even try to get together with another aspie man because inevitably they just want to be alone and your left hanging onto the threads of the masking you believed in the honeymoon period.

Whether thats true for how men see us women I dont know, but I just know If you try to accommodate your aspie man, to alleviate the asd probs, you end up alone anyway so whats the point.


Some aspie men don’t want to be alone and get called clingy.



Chronos
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25 Aug 2018, 6:24 pm

TheAllanMuir wrote:
So my no.1 fear is that I will end up a bitter old man who “could have found someone” I am on OkC, PoF, Tinder and it’s mirroring real life: I’m invisible or in more accurate terms I’m a haunting as I’m surrounded by ghosts. Simply put I’d like advice on if I should cut myself off from emotion.


It helps to expand your offline social network in general. Many people meet their partner through mutual friends.



jimmy m
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25 Aug 2018, 9:10 pm

Babi dwr wrote:
I am fearful of being alone, but I have to get used to it. The friends 'without' benefits senario is no fun believe me.

Im not prepared to look or even try to get together with another aspie man because inevitably they just want to be alone and your left hanging onto the threads of the masking you believed in the honeymoon period.

Whether thats true for how men see us women I dont know, but I just know If you try to accommodate your aspie man, to alleviate the asd probs, you end up alone anyway so whats the point.


The last sentence is a little off. Mother/child bonding is a very strong force. If an Aspie man can earn a living and provide a roof over your head and food on the table, then perhaps you might find love in the strangest of places.