Aspies are mostly right about things

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Ecomatt91
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22 Aug 2018, 4:22 am

My psychologist and research networks spoken to me recently about how NTs see in relationships, dating and sex are a 'game' while Aspies are straightforward with their decisions.

NTs are mostly profound and cult in social privileges. Aspies are honest, blunt and caring whether what status or goal of intention. So this is a story of my life when meeting NT women. They can't make their minds up. Many are dumbfounded when saying out of their mouths when in their realities doing the opposite. This is problematic for Gen Y.



GregCav
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22 Aug 2018, 5:41 am

It's problematic for everyone I think. Not just Aspies. The girls themselves know they keep changing their minds, but they don't know why they do it. It drives them nuts as well.

Relationships are hard. Everyone will tell you that. Trust that it is true.

Which means, if you do want to get involved in a relationship, it is a continual commitment to try and make it work. Easier said than done I can tell you. Burn out and "never rest" eat away at the enjoyment of the first couple months. After 12 months of this relationship thing, I'm completely over it.

I find girls so pretty that I can't 'not get involved', but I always regret getting involved.



kraftiekortie
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22 Aug 2018, 8:52 am

Yep...girls sure are pretty, I can't deny that :heart:



Ecomatt91
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22 Aug 2018, 5:16 pm

The question is why do it when relationships are hard? That make the worst out of them. That what my psychologist said. Rebound relationships are destroying their mental wellbeing. It being cult in one relationship to another.

Many young Chinese and Asian women are single these days. Here in Australia their population is booming due to high immigration. These are escaping cult and poor lifestyles back in their countries finding freedom and independence. Australia is pretty good at that.

I am not sure if there any studies on differences of Gen Y between western and eastern countries but I can tell the value and culture have huge difference. Lot of Latin Americans are very close to their families and friends with huge respect of 'different' people while Australians are being racist and discriminating to those who are different to themselves.

Lot of Australian NT women are difficult to understand while abroad ones are easier to get along despite language barriers (No I am not considering brides dating thing).



Fnord
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22 Aug 2018, 5:27 pm

I've noticed that no matter where you live, relationships are easier with a foreign partner than with a domestic one, especially when both partners realize that their conflicts arise more from cultural differences than personal ones. Once they've figure out how to resolve those cultural differences, they've already developed the 'tools' to resolve their personal ones.

Of course, this is my own subjective and personal observation, so your opinions and results may vary.


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22 Aug 2018, 7:19 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
My psychologist and research networks spoken to me recently about how NTs see in relationships, dating and sex are a 'game' while Aspies are straightforward with their decisions.


From my observations, this is true.

I have always been honest about what I want and don't want, and in most cases, never changed my mind about it, either. When I would tell the other person certain things, they would think I'm lying to them, and expect me to change my mind. I also hate it when people hint around about stuff, and expect you to read their minds...just say what you want. lol



BeaArthur
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22 Aug 2018, 7:27 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
NTs are mostly profound and cult in social privileges.

What the hell does this mean?

I find you to evidence a lot of thought disorder, and it makes me wonder if the problem is you never learned sentence structure as a discipline. So tossing down words in some approximation of your meaning is "good enough." However, it is not good enough for other people, and this might be one cause of your problem relating.


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Conner42
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22 Aug 2018, 7:49 pm

Fnord wrote:
I've noticed that no matter where you live, relationships are easier with a foreign partner than with a domestic one, especially when both partners realize that their conflicts arise more from cultural differences than personal ones. Once they've figure out how to resolve those cultural differences, they've already developed the 'tools' to resolve their personal ones.

Of course, this is my own subjective and personal observation, so your opinions and results may vary.
I can speak from experience that it seems like girls from non-English speaking countries are for me easier to get along with, but I'm still not entirely sure why.

Maybe it's because they don't assume the same expectation or shared knowledge...except when they do so we have to communicate things a lot. Though, I've noticed that they are also more likely to discuss things then shut down the conversation because...they feel uncomfortable just even talking about it, I guess? Discussions with native English speakers eventually become dismissive while discussions with people from a different country at least try to come from a place of wanting to understand more.

That's just a guess, I suppose.

TvTropes says it pretty well and I can say this is definitely what it feels like.

While neurotypical people think about a topic one way, the autistic person has an unwavering alternative view on it, which is often rebuked equally unwaveringly by neurotypical people. This can be a distressing problem and a source of considerable conflict and, eventually, depression. Imagine a world where everything is just wrong, but everything and everyone around you thinks that's not true.

So when I'm talking to someone from a similar cultural background, they might find my point of view unsettling and they don't want to talk to me anymore. But with someone from a different culture they think my point of view is just because it's from a different culture and not just a bunch of opinions I've come to on my own, so I guess there's the benefit of a doubt.

This is just conjecture right now though, but I think that could explain why relationships are difficult because of the assumed knowledge and assumption that you might have the same expectations on a relationship. That's how I see it.



Ecomatt91
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23 Aug 2018, 7:28 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
NTs are mostly profound and cult in social privileges.

What the hell does this mean?

I find you to evidence a lot of thought disorder, and it makes me wonder if the problem is you never learned sentence structure as a discipline. So tossing down words in some approximation of your meaning is "good enough." However, it is not good enough for other people, and this might be one cause of your problem relating.


It seems you really targeting me every single posts and threads I made. I told you many times about my writing. Do I see others carry on about it? They listened.

Moving on...



Ecomatt91
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23 Aug 2018, 7:34 pm

Conner42 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I've noticed that no matter where you live, relationships are easier with a foreign partner than with a domestic one, especially when both partners realize that their conflicts arise more from cultural differences than personal ones. Once they've figure out how to resolve those cultural differences, they've already developed the 'tools' to resolve their personal ones.

Of course, this is my own subjective and personal observation, so your opinions and results may vary.
I can speak from experience that it seems like girls from non-English speaking countries are for me easier to get along with, but I'm still not entirely sure why.

Maybe it's because they don't assume the same expectation or shared knowledge...except when they do so we have to communicate things a lot. Though, I've noticed that they are also more likely to discuss things then shut down the conversation because...they feel uncomfortable just even talking about it, I guess? Discussions with native English speakers eventually become dismissive while discussions with people from a different country at least try to come from a place of wanting to understand more.

That's just a guess, I suppose.

TvTropes says it pretty well and I can say this is definitely what it feels like.

While neurotypical people think about a topic one way, the autistic person has an unwavering alternative view on it, which is often rebuked equally unwaveringly by neurotypical people. This can be a distressing problem and a source of considerable conflict and, eventually, depression. Imagine a world where everything is just wrong, but everything and everyone around you thinks that's not true.

So when I'm talking to someone from a similar cultural background, they might find my point of view unsettling and they don't want to talk to me anymore. But with someone from a different culture they think my point of view is just because it's from a different culture and not just a bunch of opinions I've come to on my own, so I guess there's the benefit of a doubt.

This is just conjecture right now though, but I think that could explain why relationships are difficult because of the assumed knowledge and assumption that you might have the same expectations on a relationship. That's how I see it.


Exactly and well spot on. It very good observation seeing difference between foreign and domestic relationships compared to NT vs ASD backgrounds. It is very similar to each others, despite that NT always rely on domestic people to 'get along well because we are all a same' like as their common mind. While I see some Australians coupled up with foreign person here they get along pretty well no matter they are NT or not.

I had quite few foreign women like Chinese, Latin Americans, Japanese and Indians kiss me on cheek for greetings and appreciation while my own Australian ones who kissed me are actually older than 40. Younger generation see kissing like affection or compassion for each others. I think domestic need get an education on understand what those social cues means.



AnneOleson
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23 Aug 2018, 7:57 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
NTs are mostly profound and cult in social privileges.

What the hell does this mean?

I find you to evidence a lot of thought disorder, and it makes me wonder if the problem is you never learned sentence structure as a discipline. So tossing down words in some approximation of your meaning is "good enough." However, it is not good enough for other people, and this might be one cause of your problem relating.


It seems you really targeting me every single posts and threads I made. I told you many times about my writing. Do I see others carry on about it? They listened.

Moving on...


I have to agree with Bea. I have no idea what you mean with this sentence either.



BeaArthur
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23 Aug 2018, 9:18 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
NTs are mostly profound and cult in social privileges.

What the hell does this mean?

I find you to evidence a lot of thought disorder, and it makes me wonder if the problem is you never learned sentence structure as a discipline. So tossing down words in some approximation of your meaning is "good enough." However, it is not good enough for other people, and this might be one cause of your problem relating.


It seems you really targeting me every single posts and threads I made. I told you many times about my writing. Do I see others carry on about it? They listened.

Moving on...


I don't remember you telling me anything about your writing. Is it the "I'm hard-of-hearing so I never learned proper English" defense?


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BeaArthur
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23 Aug 2018, 9:26 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
NTs are mostly profound and cult in social privileges.


Why don't you do me and AnneOlesen a favor and restate your meaning in different words. Because the way you stated it, this is "word salad" - nonsense.


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kraftiekortie
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23 Aug 2018, 9:32 pm

I don’t know too many profound NTs.

I guess you mean that NTs reliance on the social is sort of like a cult.



Ecomatt91
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24 Aug 2018, 4:12 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don’t know too many profound NTs.

I guess you mean that NTs reliance on the social is sort of like a cult.


Yes that what I mean. It like a game brainwashing antics that people competitively comparing themselves with their lives. Like one gets a tattoo to get attention while other person observed that. NTs are like playing hunger games in terms of fighting for a relationship while good innocent ones don't win.