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Ecomatt91
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31 Aug 2018, 4:46 am

I am not sure if this asked before. I had few people in my life say to me I need to improve my voice (not speech) after my public presentations and speaking gigs. I have done pitches for business before and did get support from them.

It not that I need to improve my voice. Hell that I seen other people have funny voices, or quirky voices that who they are so why judge me?

PS: I have done speech therapy and emotion training before, so it got nothing to do with that. I used emotion by language rather than mixing up.



Sabreclaw
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31 Aug 2018, 5:27 am

Of course they do. Nobody wants to spend their time around somebody whose voice irritates them. An annoying voice is a very effective person repellent. If your voice is high-pitched or breaks a lot, that's not particularly masculine and likely to put some women off.



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31 Aug 2018, 5:35 am

i've got a deeper voice than a lot of guys.


hasn't done anything for me yet.


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Esmerelda Weatherwax
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31 Aug 2018, 5:58 am

I think autism intensifies this - I cannot spend much time with someone whose voice is high and nasal, piercing, full of hisses and clicks*, or has a lot of "vocal fry" (voice sounds crunchy. This seems to be a popular affectation lately). NTs don't even seem to notice any of this. I actually find myself turning the radio off at times because of Hiss-Click-Crunchy-Voice Overload (I do call it that). And yes, I found meetings excruciating at times when I was working, because of this.

I like contralto voices and bass voices, or smooth voices in the higher registers - unfortunately, it seems as though people pay very little attention to their own voices in the US; I was a lot happier when I lived overseas, as there were so many more people I could listen to for extended periods, quite happily.

This is a basic sensory aversion. Some people can't stand to wear wool next to their skin (I'm one of those, too, though I love it as a top layer). This is exactly like that, only with audio.

*Not like click languages - Xhosa and others. I love to hear those. More like someone who's right on top of a mic with bad, bad filters.


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kraftiekortie
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31 Aug 2018, 7:12 am

I have a very average, tenor voice.

Still, I can’t imitate a woman’s voice even if I wanted to.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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31 Aug 2018, 7:22 am

Tenor is nice :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTFUM4Uh_6Y

^Pavarotti: Nessun Dorma

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj-D82L4wSQ

^Richard Tucker: Vesti la Giubba

No hissin' or clickin' or vocal fry there, that's for sure!

(I'm only putting these in as embedded vids when it won't jack the thread. :-) )


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guitarman2010
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31 Aug 2018, 8:52 am

Yes they do


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The_Face_of_Boo
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31 Aug 2018, 10:39 am

Everything, not just the voice.



BTDT
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31 Aug 2018, 10:50 am

There is a best selling book about how women judge other women based on appearance.

https://www.harpercollins.com/978006196 ... auty-myth/
The Beauty Myth
How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women

You can use book/author/concept to search the web for tons of discussion.



nick007
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31 Aug 2018, 11:33 am

Are you talking about accents or voice? If your talking about accents & have a thick southern accent, people may think your a redneck or that your a very ignorant or intolerant person.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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31 Aug 2018, 4:12 pm

It's a misconception that in the Pacific NW (where I'm from), everybody has an accent, but it's partially true.

People in the Pacific NW do have accents, but it depends on where the person is actually from with one example being that during my middle school years, everybody thought one of our teachers was from the US South when she was really from Alaska.


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Ecomatt91
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31 Aug 2018, 5:08 pm

I am Australian by second generation from British family.

So if it the voice concerns women then that explains why I am still single and women hating me.

I guess I need a surgery to get a 'NT better voice of what they wanted me to sound like' rather than pushing myself to pretend I have a good voice rather than naturally. Otherwise life is over



fluffysaurus
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01 Sep 2018, 1:32 pm

What is wrong with your voice?

Most (not all) women don't find a high pitched voice attractive in a man.

Accents sound totally different to people from different places (otherwise Brummies would all be single)

A voice that breaks up can make the speaker sound as if they lack confidence in what they are saying.



Ecomatt91
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01 Sep 2018, 8:25 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
What is wrong with your voice?

Most (not all) women don't find a high pitched voice attractive in a man.

Accents sound totally different to people from different places (otherwise Brummies would all be single)

A voice that breaks up can make the speaker sound as if they lack confidence in what they are saying.


I had people telling me that my voice quickly goes up and down during the presentation and not using right tones at right moment of language. I have done that in therapies many times but couldn't seal it. I don't have pitch noises. I tend to be too quiet and too loud at same time. I do have confidence of knowing what to say. I don't have a paper in front of me with a script of what to say.

I see Aspie males speak at conferences and that doesn't get criticised of their voices.



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02 Sep 2018, 2:38 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
What is wrong with your voice?

Most (not all) women don't find a high pitched voice attractive in a man.

Accents sound totally different to people from different places (otherwise Brummies would all be single)

A voice that breaks up can make the speaker sound as if they lack confidence in what they are saying.


I had people telling me that my voice quickly goes up and down during the presentation and not using right tones at right moment of language. I have done that in therapies many times but couldn't seal it. I don't have pitch noises. I tend to be too quiet and too loud at same time. I do have confidence of knowing what to say. I don't have a paper in front of me with a script of what to say.

I see Aspie males speak at conferences and that doesn't get criticised of their voices.


I don't think this would be such a problem with dating, it sounds like your voice is just a problem at presentation level. Since it's probably down to not being able to hear tone of voice in others (I can't either) it's part of your autism as are the volume problems. If these presentations are about your autism perhaps you should make the problems part of the speech. There's something ironic about getting people with a communication disorder to communicate about their communication disorder and then critisising them on their, apparently, poor communication.

If you did want to work on tone and timing and word emphasis, acting lessons might help. I haven't looked but I'd be shocked if there aren't you tube vids that would give some nice clear demonstrations for those aspiring to work in the theatre.



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13 Sep 2018, 2:53 pm

Everyone judges everyone.