Lady at work keeps interrogating me 0.o

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... I want a gf as there’s lots of activities inside you can do with a romantic partner that friends can’t do or won’t do. Also a romantic partner would probably be happy you get erections around them.

So normal that no other woman at my work does it?

Hmmm. I've hear guys explain their techniques for dealing with the old hydraulics issue such as clenching a muscle in their thigh.

Could the older guys not offer some advice on this? I can't really help. Its not my area of expertise.

You are confusing romance with sexual activity. You also seem to be looking more for a female sex partner than for a girlfriend. If you are interested only in a sex-based relationship, have you considered hiring someone strictly to deliver those ‘benefits’ you desire?

Yes. Asking someone questions is a pretty standard way of starting a conversation.

As for the other females at your work, they've probably picked-up on the fact you don't really want to talk to them, and getting a response out of you is like pulling teeth, so they've stop trying. As for the chick who is chatting you up, she probably sees that you're quiet, and she's trying to be friendly and bring you out of your "shell."


You could benefit from her friendship by learning how to talk to women. If you can't hold an interesting conversation you don't have much of a chance at ever getting a girlfriend.

There’s almost nothing a guy can do to prevent an erection.

When I need to, I distract myself by shifting my thoughts to something totally non sexual - maybe my to do list or anything other than the sexy thoughts making me aroused.

Beyond that.. camouflage. Leave the room, sit down at a desk, lay on your chest on your beach blanket etc.

Either you try to become much more self confident or you should start to skip all of your wishes of finding a girl friend. For me it sounds like if she likes you and expected to be invited to something better than a pizza by you. You sucked and you should learn from it. Sorry!

If you need to pretend you’re not sexually attracted to them in order not to come across that way (and I don’t even know what that means, since the term sexual object is thrown around so casually it seems meaningless), there’s no way that kind of friendship can ever work.

According to people who actually have friends, a friend is, among other things, someone you can be honest with and who is honest with you. Having to walk on eggshells around each other is not a good sign. Therefore, if I were to have a female friend, unless she were physically hideous or something like that, there’d have to be a mutual understanding from the get-go along these lines: “Every single second I spend with you, or thinking about you when you’re not around, I spend wishing to hug you, feel the softness of your skin against mine, kiss you slowly head to toe, stimulate you in a number of ways you’d have to teach me, have sex with you, rinse and repeat. Even doing only part of that would be better than nothing to me. The only reason I don’t try to do it is because you don’t want to do that with me. We both know it and it’s no reason to freak out. We’ll only do anything physical if you decide to initiate it, since I’m basically sure to be eager to engage in it. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to do anything else with you; we can do everything regular friends do, but, in addition, I’m sexually attracted to you”.

Unfortunately, this kind of agreement, which looks trivial to me, seems to be extremely hard to establish in practice.

Are you saying that you want to do that to every woman you meet, except the physically hideous ones?

I was going to say the same thing. If you're not willing to try, than forget about ever having a girl.

Are you saying you're not capable of controlling your own hormones? Because if that's the case, maybe it's best that you do avoid others, because you will encounter others you find attractive every day, and you will have to deal with them on a somewhat professional basis.

I don't know what to tell you if you can't even do this one fairly simple thing: treat women like they're people and not an attractive collection of body parts.

I don't think comments like this help the discussion. These guys need help. They don't understand what we mean when we say these things. To us it's obvious, but I think the Aspie brain needs clearer help grasping what "objectification" is. To them it's a vague feminist buzzword. They have no idea how it makes us women feel.

Telling them just to avoid others is extreme and will just make them resent women more. We've got to find a way to meet in the middle rather than polarize each other more. They need help integrating.

So what do you guys do when you're speaking with a woman in the general public (like a woman in a service position) who you are physically attracted to? You avoid them?

Are you saying you're not capable of controlling your own hormones? Because if that's the case, maybe it's best that you do avoid others, because you will encounter others you find attractive every day, and you will have to deal with them on a somewhat professional basis.

I don't know what to tell you if you can't even do this one fairly simple thing: treat women like they're people and not an attractive collection of body parts.

Women in service don’t tend to hug me or make physical contact with me.

Men can’t cintrol their erections, if we could the whole orgasms too soon wouldn’t be a problem we’d just keep hard.

Um wtf does it have to do with treating women? I do treat women like humans, I’m a super kind person,mi can’t helps I get horny or get erections, post like this is why I don’t want female friends cause soon as they see I have an erection they be saying im a sleeze bag who just sees them as a object. It’s not in my cintrol if I get horny or get hard, I can only control how I react to it. I don’t gripe women I try not to fantasize about women I know. I try to push any thoughts out, I try not to look at women. But non of that matters cause I got horny and hard so I’m a misgonist.

Thanks for furthering my opinion I can’t be friends with women.

You just don’t get it, when women get horny your nipped get hard and you get wet down there, both with you can hid easy. But if some guy noticed how’d you like it if he called you a slut for something that’s out of your control? That’s essentially what your doing to me

I already hate myself for having sexual desires and if I could I’d kill myself