"You need to work on yourself!"

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hale_bopp
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27 Jan 2019, 5:44 pm

Marknis wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I don’t get what’s so bad about working on yourself. Clearly you aren’t happy with the way you are, so why wouldn’t you want to?

It’s not to say change who you are, but learn new things, try new ways.


It's not so much I think it's a bad thing. My mind just keeps telling me I am too "damaged" to ever improve. Even the people who tell me there is nothing wrong with me as far as being able to have a relationship still think I need to work on myself.


It’s an easy trap to fall into. I’ve been debating jumping off a bridge because people in my life leave me out. But I come out of it. You might have a similar problem, but it appears to be ongoing. If all it takes is one person, well, I believe in you.

Autism is a cruel teacher, it teaches you more than you want to know about others.

Do you have Facebook? Do you want to add me?



Marknis
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09 Feb 2019, 1:06 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Marknis wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I don’t get what’s so bad about working on yourself. Clearly you aren’t happy with the way you are, so why wouldn’t you want to?

It’s not to say change who you are, but learn new things, try new ways.


It's not so much I think it's a bad thing. My mind just keeps telling me I am too "damaged" to ever improve. Even the people who tell me there is nothing wrong with me as far as being able to have a relationship still think I need to work on myself.


It’s an easy trap to fall into. I’ve been debating jumping off a bridge because people in my life leave me out. But I come out of it. You might have a similar problem, but it appears to be ongoing. If all it takes is one person, well, I believe in you.

Autism is a cruel teacher, it teaches you more than you want to know about others.

Do you have Facebook? Do you want to add me?


I have a Facebook account but I don't really use it.



AngelRho
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11 Feb 2019, 11:17 am

I don't mean to stick my nose where it isn't wanted, but I think hale_bopp's efforts at connecting with you on some level is a good thing for you. I don't mean purely in the "making friends" department, I just mean in spring boarding your social media presence. Facebook and other social media sites are another beneficial way of connecting with others more like yourself and may help give you a way out of your situation. It'll help you feel better if nothing else.

I'm about to bite the bullet and sign up for Facebook. I've been resisting it for years, but G+ was never very good in the first place (I did everything right and still got flagged as a spammer) and they're about to close shop. Good riddance, I say. But I've got some positive things going musically right now and I have to take my own advice: If you want to connect with people, you've got to go where people are.

I already do Twitter. I'm just not very good at it, and I don't have the time for it like I used to back when I was active on G+. But I do have a slow trickle of followers every week or so. I would say start out with a focus on something you like, a topic of interest, or whatever, and just let people come to you.

I'm not particularly excited over professional football, for example, so I'm not out tweeting non-stop about sports. But I DO enjoy watching the Super Bowl every year. Twitter gets fairly lively at Super Bowl time, so interacting with actual sports fans, rapid-fire comments on bad plays/ref calls, arm-chair quarter-backing, and cheering every 1st down and every score with everyone else just for one night out of the year is good for building engagement and driving traffic that you might not get any other way. I regret somewhat that it might distract from what my Twitter account is really about (the music), but being just a touch multi-faceted does make a difference in the long run. I've even attracted a small number of athletes to my Twitter. After many attempts and failures I'm starting to get a musical product I think I can be proud of, so targeting this small, select, group might have a lot of potential in getting things out there and making a little extra spending money. I'm at least open to the possibility.

The more avenues you keep open, the more opportunities you have to realize your goals--including MAYBE a date with a girl. I never guarantee anything...I just want you to see where your open doors are.



rdos
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11 Feb 2019, 4:51 pm

I basically only use Facebook for monologuing. Some of my friends occasionally like my posts too, but they are all for my loved one. Nowadays, I write (or share) a couple every day, while a few years ago I seldom wrote anything. So, I might have misunderstood the purpose of Facebook, but at least it works for something. :mrgreen:



AngelRho
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11 Feb 2019, 9:24 pm

I think FB is for whatever you want to do. I blatantly used G+ for self-promotion. Back then I had a TON of content, I didn’t copy/paste the same message to a lot of groups, and no matter what I did many of my group posts got blocked. Eventually I just got too busy offline and didn’t have as much to post, but it was discouraging that nothing would have gone through anyway. FB from what I understand doesn’t have near the asinine policies that Google has. The death of G+ is giving rise to a number of alternative social media websites, but none that will ever have quite the reach FB has. So the net effect if I branch out into FB no matter what I do is I’ll have instant access to a wider audience, which is probably what I should have done in the first place.



CockneyRebel
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15 Feb 2019, 12:40 am

I think that you should take HaleBopp's offer. It might turn into something more.


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fluffysaurus
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15 Feb 2019, 4:20 am

^I can't see their personalities jelling in that way, but it's good to have friends from as wide a circle as possible.

Gives us a broader perspective.



hale_bopp
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15 Feb 2019, 7:16 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I think that you should take HaleBopp's offer. It might turn into something more.


I’m not interested in dating internet people, but I would like to be friends. You can meet a lot of aspies on Facebook, there are more groups there than here. You can also stop people you hate/hate you from seeing your posts, which I think is a productive feature.

If you don’t want to stay friends you can unfriend me, no hard feelings.

Instagram is my absolute favourite platform. I’ve never met so many other Nintendo loving girls.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Feb 2019, 11:42 am

That conversation is déjà vu...



Marknis
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20 Feb 2019, 5:05 pm

I am honestly feeling so burned out on socialization that I am not even trying anymore. I am just drifting through life alone.



Fnord
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20 Feb 2019, 5:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
That conversation is déjà vu...
More like déjà moo...



Marknis
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20 Feb 2019, 6:50 pm

I don't understand it when others tell me that there's nothing wrong with me but that I should still work on myself.



kraftiekortie
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20 Feb 2019, 7:03 pm

They mean you should "work" on your confidence......that's what they mean.



Marknis
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20 Feb 2019, 7:30 pm

My mind keeps thinking that I can't ever gain new confidence because I failed to build any confidence in my developmental years. Those years have passed so how can I ever develop now?



kraftiekortie
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20 Feb 2019, 7:35 pm

I gained most of my "confidence" after the age of 18. I had very little confidence as a high school student. I was a doormat and "pariah to the pariahs."