"You need to work on yourself!"

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blazingstar
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20 Feb 2019, 9:18 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I gained most of my "confidence" after the age of 18. I had very little confidence as a high school student. I was a doormat and "pariah to the pariahs."


Me too, Kortie. :D


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Marknis
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21 Feb 2019, 1:57 pm

I just want my life to get better in this decade because if it doesn't then I don't want to live past my 30's.



fluffysaurus
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21 Feb 2019, 4:57 pm

Marknis wrote:
I just want my life to get better in this decade because if it doesn't then I don't want to live past my 30's.

What is it that you want to get better exactly, and better in what way? I don't mean that to sound like I'm doubting

things will change, I'm just struggling to phrase it inoffensively. I want details of what you want to change and in

what way.



Alterity
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21 Feb 2019, 10:31 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I just want my life to get better in this decade because if it doesn't then I don't want to live past my 30's.

What is it that you want to get better exactly, and better in what way? I don't mean that to sound like I'm doubting

things will change, I'm just struggling to phrase it inoffensively. I want details of what you want to change and in

what way.


Perhaps, "What would better look an feel like for you?"


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Marknis
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22 Feb 2019, 2:25 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I just want my life to get better in this decade because if it doesn't then I don't want to live past my 30's.

What is it that you want to get better exactly, and better in what way? I don't mean that to sound like I'm doubting

things will change, I'm just struggling to phrase it inoffensively. I want details of what you want to change and in

what way.


I can't post all of the details right now but I will say I want my social experiences to be better in that I can actually make new friends more easily and without having to go against my values (Which fortunately I don't do anyway).



Marknis
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24 Feb 2019, 10:27 pm

I forgot I was supposed to add more to my post.



AnonymousAnonymous
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10 Mar 2019, 5:53 pm

Brother Mark, if you keep feeling insecure, you are not going to move forward in your life.

Ignore those who enjoy making your life difficult. You don't need such people in your life because they see you as an easy target. It is not your fault you don't have what you want; that thing you want is love.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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10 Mar 2019, 8:38 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
.It is not your fault you don't have what you want; that thing you want is love.

Debatable



Fnord
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11 Mar 2019, 8:22 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
.It is not your fault you don't have what you want; that thing you want is love.
Debatable
Indeed. To be loved, one must first be loveable.



kraftiekortie
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11 Mar 2019, 8:55 am

There's a 99.9999% chance that Marknis IS loveable.

Even more likely than the purity of Ivory soap, which is only 99.44% pure.



fluffysaurus
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11 Mar 2019, 8:57 am

Fnord wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
.It is not your fault you don't have what you want; that thing you want is love.
Debatable
Indeed. To be loved, one must first be loveable.

Everyone is lovable. We are not good at conveying our lovableness to others though.



Fnord
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11 Mar 2019, 9:11 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
.It is not your fault you don't have what you want; that thing you want is love.
Debatable
Indeed. To be loved, one must first be loveable.
Everyone is lovable. We are not good at conveying our lovableness to others though.
Google the word "loveable", and then click on "Images". Do you see anyone or anything that is ugly? No. They're all "cute" in some way.

Only "cute" can be "loveable".



kraftiekortie
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11 Mar 2019, 9:14 am

The Beast was certainly "loveable" to the Beauty.....

And Quasimodo, that "epitome of ugliness," was certainly "loveable." I bet, in real life, that some women would seek to heal him.



Fnord
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11 Mar 2019, 9:15 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
The Beast was certainly "loveable" to the Beauty... And Quasimodo, that "epitome of ugliness," was certainly "loveable." I bet, in real life, that some women would seek to heal him.
Please work a little harder on differentiating between real-life people and fantasy cartoon characters.



kraftiekortie
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11 Mar 2019, 9:23 am

Why should I? I believe there is at least a grain of truth to these stories.

Anyway, Marknis is not a bad-looking guy at all. He just has to adjust the attitude. His attitude at the present time will not work.

I used t think that I wasn't "loveable"---and I was told, many times, that I was not "loveable"--until I realized that people could be "loveable" for many reasons other than pure superficial looks and what may be termed "social deftness."



AngelRho
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11 Mar 2019, 2:04 pm

Fnord wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
.It is not your fault you don't have what you want; that thing you want is love.
Debatable
Indeed. To be loved, one must first be loveable.
Everyone is lovable. We are not good at conveying our lovableness to others though.
Google the word "loveable", and then click on "Images". Do you see anyone or anything that is ugly? No. They're all "cute" in some way.

Only "cute" can be "loveable".

You said "cute IN SOME WAY. How does one define that? Is there some objective standard or measure as to what exactly that is?

I have my doubts as to whether that can be true in any non-subjective terms.

But I do agree with TGI. It does take personal responsibility to achieve what you want in life, whether that's love or anything else. That's never going to change.

In Marknis's case, saying "it takes personal responsibility" isn't really going to be helpful. Whilst true, it's not what Marknis needs or wants to hear right now. If Marknis finds true love or even a coffee date, it's going to be because someone values him for who and what he is--no different from anyone else. Marknis needs, more than finding love, to find happiness in life that doesn't hinge on any other person besides himself. If there's not a single girl out there who values him, it means nothing more than there's just not a girl out there who is worthy of him. If Marknis can learn to see his own worth, what other people think or say about him isn't going to matter. The irony of all this is that people who maintain that kind of mentality often are the kinds of people in relationships. It may not carry 100% certainty, but it's a step in the right direction.