"When you start dating, you're gonna have a hard time".

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Lost_dragon
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30 Oct 2018, 11:20 am

My friend says this to me sometimes, and I have to wonder if perhaps they have a valid point. I can get uncomfortable when people get physically too close to me, so that might end up being a problem in the future. Also the way people eat and the sounds they make when doing so can bother me, and sometimes I have to leave the room. I realise there are things about me which might make dating more difficult, but I suppose for now I have no way of knowing what the future holds and only time will tell. Not even sure why I'm thinking about this. I hate those articles that say things such as "Top 10 things you'll know if your partner is a picky eater" and people admit to hiding certain foods in their partner's meal. Why? They're not a child, if their eating habits concern you then why not just have a conversation about it? :?


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Kiprobalhato
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30 Oct 2018, 11:25 am

because then they get defensive, or aggressive, nothing ends up changing and you generally regret talking to them about it in the first place.


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Jake6238
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30 Oct 2018, 12:25 pm

I think when you enjoy a persons company enough to want to date them, all the little quirks that everybody has fade out of view. You just have to find that person that wants to focus on the better parts of you.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Oct 2018, 1:54 pm

Your friend is probably bothered by your quirks.



Scipio
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30 Oct 2018, 2:02 pm

You probably will have a hard time. That does not mean that you are necessarily fated to be a perpetual loser who never stops having a hard time.



hurtloam
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30 Oct 2018, 2:22 pm

Jake6238 wrote:
I think when you enjoy a persons company enough to want to date them, all the little quirks that everybody has fade out of view. You just have to find that person that wants to focus on the better parts of you.


But when the honeymoon period is 9ver tgey start to grate on you and it ends up in arguments.

My Mom hates so many little things about my Dad.


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xDominiel
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30 Oct 2018, 2:28 pm

It's not really a mandatory milestone or hurdle you have to overcome as some people may try to convince you. Just be you, do what you enjoy and don't feel pressured into what you don't.



Scipio
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30 Oct 2018, 4:14 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Jake6238 wrote:
I think when you enjoy a persons company enough to want to date them, all the little quirks that everybody has fade out of view. You just have to find that person that wants to focus on the better parts of you.


But when the honeymoon period is 9ver tgey start to grate on you and it ends up in arguments.

My Mom hates so many little things about my Dad.



That is a good point. I think shared values are even more important that whether or not you find them to be the hottest person on Earth or if you enjoy their company because, in time, their looks may fade and you may begin to gravitate toward different interests and activities as well as the reality mentioned above that those little things about them that annoy you a little bit now may annoy you much more over time. But, if you have shared values, then it is more likely that the two of you will stick it out and work through those things because, if nothing else, you at least have your values in common and those are the foundation of everything else.



kraftiekortie
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30 Oct 2018, 5:13 pm

My feeling is that Lost Dragon will do all right dating.

She's a smart gal. And it really seems like she's reasonable, and doesn't argue about every little thing.



Scipio
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30 Oct 2018, 6:14 pm

You are fortunate in the fact that you are a female which means that you are not necessarily expected to make the first approach or even to initiate any of the first moves after that. I don't mean this to tell you that you don't have to do anything, only to say that you don't necessarily have to feel like there is a great deal of pressure on you to perform or have all your conversation lines and logistics on point. If you take care of your health and physical appearance, practice good hygiene, stay polite and kindhearted, and don't be a complete shut-in so that interested guys can actually see you and know that you exist, there is a good chance that you will be approached by an interested guy and all you really have to do then (assuming you are interested) is go along for the ride and not be too relentless with the sh*t tests (I did not want to write a curse word but this is the most common term used to express this concept) so as not to drive away any potential suitor.



Lost_dragon
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30 Oct 2018, 6:40 pm

Scipio wrote:
You are fortunate in the fact that you are a female which means that you are not necessarily expected to make the first approach or even to initiate any of the first moves after that. I don't mean this to tell you that you don't have to do anything, only to say that you don't necessarily have to feel like there is a great deal of pressure on you to perform or have all your conversation lines and logistics on point. If you take care of your health and physical appearance, practice good hygiene, stay polite and kindhearted, and don't be a complete shut-in so that interested guys can actually see you and know that you exist, there is a good chance that you will be approached by an interested guy and all you really have to do then (assuming you are interested) is go along for the ride and not be too relentless with the sh*t tests (I did not want to write a curse word but this is the most common term used to express this concept) so as not to drive away any potential suitor.


I'm gay.


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kraftiekortie
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30 Oct 2018, 6:44 pm

Would you feel pressure to "make the first move?"



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30 Oct 2018, 7:00 pm

Being able to approach someone you are attracted to is important no matter what gender or orientation you are. Almost everyone gets a good feeling from having someone approach them and express an interest in them. If you do it with respect and honesty you will not have trouble dating.



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30 Oct 2018, 7:32 pm

People are weird. But yeah, some "normal" things turn me off, like making out. A deep kiss once in a while is okay, but mashing tongues for 20 minutes is rather unattractive. So I can relate.



Aspie19828
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30 Oct 2018, 7:55 pm

All the popular kids at my school had girl friends/boy friends at 13 or 14. Majority of kids had been in a relationship by 16. Reaching the age of 16 and never had a girl friend I knew it was all over for me and I accepted my fate of being forever alone. Unattractive, introverted guys with a lack of social skills are not wanted.