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hurtloam
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28 Mar 2020, 4:05 pm

Karamazov wrote:
Actual grown-ups care more about whether you’re making an honest effort than if you are a “success”.


Truth



rick42
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28 Mar 2020, 4:39 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
They’re talking garbage to you.



Yeah I would say they are talking trash about me,but in my case,this seems common. However a lot of women tend to just ignore me once they know I don't meet their requirements ,but women who don't ignore me explain how I'm undateable, and it's usually about ether my personality,my social awkwardness or about the fact I don't have a lot a success when to jobs,having a car,etc. I usually go for women in their mid 20s-late 30s and occasionally early 20s,and usually I go for working class/poor/lower class-middle class women.However no matter what still no success. In all of my years since I became interested in dating,I don't think I met a single woman that had interest in dating me or being in a relationship with me. I'm starting to be feel more and more that women simply ether really dislike me or actually hate me. :(



Last edited by rick42 on 28 Mar 2020, 4:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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28 Mar 2020, 4:41 pm

How can we remedy this impression?



Fnord
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28 Mar 2020, 4:51 pm

rick42 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
rick42 wrote:
Well most if not all people think I'm not good enough be with any woman ... Even my family thinks I'm undateable ...
Stop right there. You do not know what all people think. You do not even know what most people think. And unless someone actually tells they think you are boring, shy, or undateable, you will never know that as a fact, either. Stop worrying about what other people think -- or what you only imagine they think -- because that's just an excuse.
So I'm "just imaging" that people see me as undateable,despite of my experiences that proved otherwise.
No, you are likely just imagining what other people think, unless of course they tell you, and even then you cannot be 100% certain that they're telling the truth.
rick42 wrote:
I have asked many women out for dates over the years and not a single one wanted to date me due to for various of reasons. Women have told me that I was boring, creepy, rude, unworthy, et cetera. Women have told me that they won't date a man who isn't charismatic and doesn't have a car. Women also called me broke and a moocher for not owning a car. I have asked family members for dating advice and they said, "you're not good enough to be with a woman or why would women date someone like you."
Well then, that settles it. I was wrong. You are not just imagining it, you really are undateable. This puts you in a situation where you have only three options:

1. Continue doing what you are doing: Continue to complain about being dateless while knowing why and doing nothing about it.

2. Put forth a continuing effort to improve yourself: Learn skills and talents that will get you a (better) job so that you can afford better clothes, a place of your own and a decent car; stop being creepy and rude; work on having a more conciliatory personality and being less confrontational; and eventually someone will deem you worthy of dating.

3. Stop complaining about being undateable and simply accept the fact that you will remain forever alone.

Choose wisely, and good luck.



RetroGamer87
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14 Apr 2020, 11:27 am

I don't get how incels can say women are horrible, I hate them. And then five minutes later they're saying Oh god, I want a woman so bad!

If they hate women so much then why do they want to be with one?


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Karamazov
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14 Apr 2020, 12:22 pm

RetroGamer8[youtube]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fD2briZ6fB0[/youtube]7 wrote:
I don't get how incels can say women are horrible, I hate them. And then five minutes later they're saying Oh god, I want a woman so bad!

If they hate women so much then why do they want to be with one?


This is the best bite-size attempt to analyse the incel phenomena from the outside with sympathy & without approval I’ve come across:



(It’s about half an hour long: creator is a very camp transsexual)



hurtloam
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14 Apr 2020, 2:40 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I don't get how incels can say women are horrible, I hate them. And then five minutes later they're saying Oh god, I want a woman so bad!

If they hate women so much then why do they want to be with one?


It's an expression of pain. They don't really hate women, they hate the pain they've felt interacting with women.



RetroGamer87
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14 Apr 2020, 6:03 pm

hurtloam wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I don't get how incels can say women are horrible, I hate them. And then five minutes later they're saying Oh god, I want a woman so bad!

If they hate women so much then why do they want to be with one?


It's an expression of pain. They don't really hate women, they hate the pain they've felt interacting with women.


Then they should say that. I've been on their forums and seen them say women are stupid and selfish. If I thought someone was stupid and selfish, I wouldn't have a desire to be with them.


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Fnord
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14 Apr 2020, 6:06 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I don't get how incels can say women are horrible, I hate them.  And then five minutes later they're saying, "Oh god, I want a woman so bad!"  If they hate women so much then why do they want to be with one?
It's an expression of pain.  They don't really hate women, they hate the pain they've felt interacting with women.
Then they should say that.  I've been on their forums and seen them say women are stupid and selfish.  If I thought someone was stupid and selfish, I wouldn't have a desire to be with them.
The more lies they tell themselves, the more difficult it is for them to maintain consistency between lies.



ezbzbfcg2
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26 Jun 2021, 11:42 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I don't get how incels can say women are horrible, I hate them. And then five minutes later they're saying Oh god, I want a woman so bad!

If they hate women so much then why do they want to be with one?

Ever get angry when a computer program isn't working correctly? Does that mean you hate the computer and want to destroy it? Or are you upset it isn't working the way you want it to, but still value what it COULD ideally be?



hurtloam
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27 Jun 2021, 9:24 am

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I don't get how incels can say women are horrible, I hate them. And then five minutes later they're saying Oh god, I want a woman so bad!

If they hate women so much then why do they want to be with one?

Ever get angry when a computer program isn't working correctly? Does that mean you hate the computer and want to destroy it? Or are you upset it isn't working the way you want it to, but still value what it COULD ideally be?


Are you saying women are programmed badly? That we just need to be what men want us to be and these losers will stop complaining.

Lol, no thanks.



PhosphorusDecree
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27 Jun 2021, 10:18 am

The whole "incel" thing makes me grateful I was born back in the '80s, and I feel sorry for The Youth Of Today. If I had been exposed to these ideas when I was younger and more naive, I might well have been suckered into the incel trap.

Yes, I have been single nearly all my life. Yes, I would quite like not to be single. Yes, romance is a huge uphill struggle for me. Yes, I am not exactly attractive. But no, I have not grown up in an internet subculture that encourages me to endlessly obsess over how women are oppressing me by not sleeping with me. And no, I don't spend every day driving myself deeper into a pit of depression over being single. So I can live with it just fine. (shrug)


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DuckHairback
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27 Jun 2021, 5:41 pm

PhosphorusDecree wrote:
The whole "incel" thing makes me grateful I was born back in the '80s, and I feel sorry for The Youth Of Today. If I had been exposed to these ideas when I was younger and more naive, I might well have been suckered into the incel trap.


We're of the same generation. I came up with the idea of being an incel (I didn't give it that name obviously) in my late teens at a time when I felt that life had dealt me a bum hand and I didn't feel like taking responsibility for myself.

I think the difference is that I didn't have somewhere to go where I could have all my opinions reflected back at me by hundreds of thousands of young guys feeling the exact same thing and assuring me that it was the world, not me, that needed to change.

No one in my real life had time to indulge my self pity. They had some pragmatic advice and the occasional bit of tough love to offer. So I grew.

The internet has a lot to answer for.



RetroGamer87
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27 Jun 2021, 9:48 pm

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I don't get how incels can say women are horrible, I hate them. And then five minutes later they're saying Oh god, I want a woman so bad!

If they hate women so much then why do they want to be with one?

Ever get angry when a computer program isn't working correctly? Does that mean you hate the computer and want to destroy it? Or are you upset it isn't working the way you want it to, but still value what it COULD ideally be?


Oh geez, which object are we comparing women to today?


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Fnord
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28 Jun 2021, 8:06 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I don't get how incels can say women are horrible, I hate them. And then five minutes later they're saying Oh god, I want a woman so bad!If they hate women so much then why do they want to be with one?
Ever get angry when a computer program isn't working correctly? Does that mean you hate the computer and want to destroy it? Or are you upset it isn't working the way you want it to, but still value what it COULD ideally be?
Oh geez, which object are we comparing women to today?
Apparently, an object based on logic that only follows commands.

:roll:



2007kid
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01 Jul 2021, 12:33 am

As an insult, the word is stupid.
The idea attached to the word sounds like "potrae" [potential rapist] or "rae" [rapist] more than it sounds like "incel" [involuntarily celibate].

I hate potential rapists and actual rapists. I do not hate every person who is a virgin for a long amount of time.