Professional cuddlers

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Just an observation from a guy who hasn't been on a date in a long time. Hopefully this doesn't come across as too creepy. I know that this technically isn't really about either love or dating, but I couldn't think of where else to put it...


I can't speak for other people, but I know that I need for physical affection, and it was profoundly impactful to simply lie down with and hold another human being... I don't even have friends who will give me hugs, and it felt like I was getting something that I deeply needed and hadn't really ever gotten. I had my first session two weeks ago, and a second session last weekend, and I intend to go again.
I was actually recommended it by my therapist... it fills a physical and emotional need, and helped get me less uncomfortable with touching another person and being touched. I would bet that a lot of autists (is that the word that's in-vogue now?) probably have both issues with and unmet needs to be touched, and they would benefit. It also helps with feeling unloved and unlovable, which I've struggled with quite a bit.

When I initially booked the first session, I was kind of freaking out... I didn't sleep at all that night. I was a little apprehensive when I met her for the first time (where we had a brief conversation in a public place establishing expectations and ground rules) which eased up a little when the session actually started. She constantly checked in with me, encouraged me to suggest things, and would always ask before making any moves herself, ensuring that consent was always present. In the end, it was actually less awkward than I thought it would be, and it did more to lift my depression than any antidepressant ever did (though it certainly isn't a substitute for meds or a therapist). The second session went even better, with me being more confident and less awkward (and feeling more comfortable with asking for what I wanted) and I didn't hesitate to schedule a third. Finally, yes, it's intended to be platonic.

Hopefully this is beneficial to someone and doesn't come across as sounding too weird...

I heard of some areas(like major cities) having "cuddle parties" where random people get together & cuddle. I might would of gone to one when I was single if there were any in my area(I lived in a rural area). I'm NOT an affectionate person with almost everyone. The only people I was ever affectionate with were both my exes & current girlfriend(stll very much am with the ladder). However I had a HIGH desire for affection after me & my 1st girlfriend broke up. I also HATED sleeping alone. Those were major reasons why I wanted another relationship. I struggled majorly to find one thou & the idea of a cuddle party sounded kinda interesting to me when I heard about em. It also seemed like there was a chance I could of got a girlfriend out of it if I would of gone to one. If I would of had my own place I would of taken in a girl who needed or wanted a place to stay cuz I had those reasons/issues. I knew a couple women online at different times who would of been interested in that but they didn't wanna do a long-distance realtionship.

I've heard of those as well, but they don't fancy me as I still want a one on one experience and I am not paying anyone money for that either.

So I have decided that I will find an older member of the opposite sex who isn't looking for a traditional relationship because I am done with those and all the mating ritual nonsense that comes with them that we have to act like is not the primary motivator for the interaction in the first place.

I saw the title and thought "hell yes, that sounds nice".

cuddle parties were a kind of running joke in uni, haha

/horny teenagers

I'll skip the link, since I'm not sure of the linking policy on this forum, but part of what made me decide to go was episode 417 of the Mental Illness Happy Hour with Courtenay Hameister (which should be easy to find with a quick internet search). She describes writing a book about facing her fears, which includes a visit to a cuddler. That part of the discussion starts at about 50 minutes into the episode. I listened to the episode shortly after my therapist brought it up (though I had been listening to the podcast for a while) and it was what made me actually go through with booking an appointment.

One of the things that they talk about is the mental and physical consequences of not being touched for long periods of time... and given that people with aspergers are much less likely than most to experience that than most people, many of them are probably suffering from the effects.

Just food for thought...

And if someone else here does go, I'm interested in hearing if it's a positive experience.

Interesting thread.

Please post the link to the podcast, I'm curious to hear it. Links are allowed here.

I'm also curious approximately where in the world you are & how much you paid for X amount of time of a session. i.e. I wonder what other health services this compares to in cost. Massage, perhaps?

The episode can be found here:
https://mentalpod.com/archives/5034

I live in Utah, USA, and it cost $80 for an hour.
I've gone to get a massage occasionally, and those have cost around $70 for one hour.
I also see a chiropractor, and that costs $40 for half an hour.

I don't like to just "cuddle" with people I don't know.

It's something one does with one's lover.

If I'm in a church, and the situation calls for someone to take my hand, I reluctantly take it. I understand why people hold hands at certain times in the service. But I still don't care for it.

I can see myself hiring one for an hour. Heck, I used to hire escorts, until my sex drive plummeted to zero in 2017. But I still enjoy hugging and cuddling. So a professional cuddler is just the ticket for me. I've attended a cuddle party twice, but I've never been with a professional cuddler one-on-one. Those parties were "OK", with the atmosphere being comparable to social dancing. It was nice to get a touch fix, and we did this fun exercise where you have to fit many people into a small painted square. But most women were on the older side, and had more of a motherly vibe than a fun youthful vibe. I was half-expected to engage men too, with it being a non-sexual event; although men kept their distance from each other somewhat, and chose to huddle (like athletes) rather than actually cuddle.

If I were to see a cuddler one-on-one, I'm sure I'd know what to do in terms of scheduling and conducting myself. It's probably not much different from the escort protocol I already know, only it's without sex and I don't have to look over my shoulder to avoid cops. Plus, I can safely drive there, as opposed to taking complex bus and train routes, to make sure cops don't flag my plates or impound my car.

The rules would probably be similar to lap dances in a strip club, minus the nudity. You're definitely allowed to, well, cuddle, first and foremost. And maybe little things like touch her hair, hold her hand, rub each other's shoulders, and maybe a kiss on the cheek at the end. But absolutely nothing sexual, like French kissing or touching privates, let alone overt sexual acts like intercourse.

I thought this was what pets were for? If I need a cuddle I go to my cats and cuddle with them and pet them and they purr soothingly--it probably helps that my cats are affectionate and cuddly. But yeah, that always cheers me up.

I hate hugging or touching any living being other than dogs.

So, don't then? No one is telling you you have to, eh?

This kinda goes in the Adult section so I'll try & keep it short & as tame as possible. One of my biggest concerns about cuddling with someone I'm not in a romantic realtionship with is that I would get an unwanted erection. I got those a lot in general & just cuddling with my 2nd girlfriend when sex wasn't even on my mind. They are very uncomfortable & I move around & hump alittle trying to adjust it which would probably get me slapped at a cuddle party or by a professional cuddlier. It's not really an issue in my current realtionship cuz of meds I'm on but I'd imagine it'll be a common issue for other guys at those things.

Interestingly, the FAQ section on many cuddlers' websites mentions "natural reactions" (their words), and explains that it's nothing wrong or shameful. Most likely, she'll change positions to such that you're not "poking" her, like her on the outside of spooning, or side-by-side with arms around each other. It's only when you get inappropriate, like grinding on her, that she'll terminate the session. If getting a visible erection embarrasses you, here's an idea: wear jeans. They're not a cozy cuddle outfit, but they hide an erection pretty well.

Oh, and if you got a hard-in while cuddling with your girlfriend, news flash: it's a good thing! She's your girlfriend, so it's good that physical closeness with her turns you on.

I've never heard of this till now.