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Fnord
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12 Jun 2019, 11:39 am

rhoades24 wrote:
I don't have any friends, relatives I speak to, and no contact with parents. I don't make friends with anyone. I already gave it a shot a number of times I can't count and found no connection with person to become friends with. I actually do have to go at it alone as I'm a lone wolf type with no pack that's got my back.
Strange ... you seem to be friendly and have friends here ...


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rhoades24
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12 Jun 2019, 11:48 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
I have no idea whether the above is true in the world of dating apps, but it's certainly not true in the world outside of dating apps. A lot more than 1% of men do manage to get married, and many of them stay married. See Marriage and divorce: patterns by gender, race, and educational attainment.


Great for things outside of online dating. I don't date offline. No one to date. As I said to the other poster today I gave it a shot with friends, both men and women, and no connections made. Therefore, no dates made.

Mona Pereth wrote:
By the way, there's one very large category of heterosexual women who have extreme difficulty finding a man: single or divorced mothers. These women generally want a man who has a decent-paying job, but, in most cases, he doesn't have to be a millionaire and he doesn't have to be super-handsome.


You mean old woman in their 40s and 50s? Not interested in older women as they are past their prime in terms of sexual attractiveness. If you mean younger mothers, then they are probably gold diggers looking for a guy who makes much more than decent-pay.

Mona Pereth wrote:
Are there any campus clubs that involve activities that are of interest to you and that attract women as well as men?


I tried several with no success. I did tango for like 3 months on campus which had both men and women. Other clubs for several months straight. No success with making friends as stated before. I go to Columbia Uni where everyone is in small and exclusive cliques for rich and high social status students from prestigious families. 99% of students are like that here, especially women. Oh and even though there is Barnard, all women college next door, they are also in exclusive cliques that usually ostracize most men, unless they are rich, very handsome or high social status. I've had dozens of women give me condescending stares when I approached them and conversed with them. Then they found the quickest excuse to leave to be with their clique or say they are busy and need to go. No reciprocated interest for friendship.


Mona Pereth wrote:


Your profile says you live in New York. Do you mean the New York City metro area, or upstate? If in the metro area, there are lots of psychotherapy resources around here that might be able to help you. If you or your family can't afford it and your insurance doesn't cover it, look for a place where psychotherapy grad student "externs" work under the direction of a licensed psychotherapist. That's a LOT cheaper than the going rate for licensed psychotherapists, although there tend to be long waiting lists.


Metro, Manhattan, The big apple city. I've seen 4 therapists here and none helped. Current one is new and am experimenting with their questionable therapy. Most therapy is BS and new age nonsense that sell fake fairy tales about the ability of humans in constant despair in finding peace and contentment with life. Not the case as life is brutal, extremely painful and thankfully short!



rhoades24
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12 Jun 2019, 11:50 am

Fnord wrote:
Strange ... you seem to be friendly and have friends here ...


I don't have any friends here. None of you are my friend as I don't know any of you. You are all just digital aliases who all sound identical since I can't see, hear you or feel your presence.



kraftiekortie
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12 Jun 2019, 11:55 am

My....aren't you charming....

I'm a New Yorker. I'm 5 foot 5, 180 lbs. Not good-looking.

I've done pretty good for myself in the ladies' department.

If you can forget about the Columbia co-eds....and go for regular people, you'll probably do better.



magz
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12 Jun 2019, 11:58 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
go for regular people

I love the expression :heart:


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Teach51
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12 Jun 2019, 12:04 pm

rhoades24 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Strange ... you seem to be friendly and have friends here ...


I don't have any friends here. None of you are my friend as I don't know any of you. You are all just digital aliases who all sound identical since I can't see, hear you or feel your presence.



If you try and be a little more amenable people might stick around more. Do you realise that you sound arrogant? I'm sure you are not doing this intentionally. Do you find it difficult to bond with people?

I have red hair, I am chubby and a grandma. I have a cheeky face and wear enormous bright red glasses.


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rhoades24
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12 Jun 2019, 12:14 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
My....aren't you charming....

I'm a New Yorker. I'm 5 foot 5, 180 lbs. Not good-looking.

I've done pretty good for myself in the ladies' department.

If you can forget about the Columbia co-eds....and go for regular people, you'll probably do better.


Good for you boy!

Yeah, I'll go for regular people like before.



kraftiekortie
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12 Jun 2019, 12:18 pm

Yep. Probably your best bet...



rhoades24
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14 Jun 2019, 3:50 am

Teach51 wrote:


If you try and be a little more amenable people might stick around more. Do you realise that you sound arrogant? I'm sure you are not doing this intentionally. Do you find it difficult to bond with people?

I have red hair, I am chubby and a grandma. I have a cheeky face and wear enormous bright red glasses.


I only talk about things that happen in reality. I don't bond with anyone because up to now no bonding has occurred to any degree. There seems to be no one to bond with as I have no common ground with anyone; Men or women. I am amenable in physical world when I interact. But still no bonding.

How did I end up talking about all this? I asked a question on if it's possible to lessen or eliminate the desire for companionship. It does nothing but cause relentless agony. I'm 99% sure there are no compatible women I'd find attractive and vice versa. I've done online dating and paid a lot of money on sites, went to dating events (Match), did social clubs at campus and off campus, talked in classes with women, cold approached on streets, went to bars and some clubs occasionally , and even hired dating coaches. No success.

I just want the agony to end by any means necessary.



Teach51
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14 Jun 2019, 6:56 am

Sweety I am so sorry that you feel this way. We all need to feel appreciated, needed and loved. An aspie friend of mine just finished a workshop with the purpose of improving his social interaction, it helped a little. He also is lonely. There doesn't seem to be a comprehensive solution in helping aspies and NT's to understand each other. My aspie friends think my way of thinking is cockeyed it works both ways. We care for each other so it works. Hope you find your way. Are you American? The culture seems so harsh and aggressive to me as an onlooker. Nothing seems natural, so cynical and mean. Must be really tough to be different and vulnerable.


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rhoades24
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14 Jun 2019, 7:31 am

Teach51 wrote:
Sweety I am so sorry that you feel this way. We all need to feel appreciated, needed and loved. An aspie friend of mine just finished a workshop with the purpose of improving his social interaction, it helped a little. He also is lonely. There doesn't seem to be a comprehensive solution in helping aspies and NT's to understand each other. My aspie friends think my way of thinking is cockeyed it works both ways. We care for each other so it works. Hope you find your way. Are you American? The culture seems so harsh and aggressive to me as an onlooker. Nothing seems natural, so cynical and mean. Must be really tough to be different and vulnerable.


"We all need to feel appreciated, needed and loved." False! There is no law or even cultural norm that expects this to happen. Nonsense. Probably more of an unrealistic want that can never happen. Hence, why I asked of ways to lessen desires to want other people, especially women. Cut the cord from other people would be nice just like psychopaths are able to.

America (USA) = $ and Fame. Nothing else. That's pretty much all there is to pursue here. An empty society with rich famous people, corporate companies, pornstars and escorts, casinos, and resorts. Nothing else. f**k this place as I always say. I hate this country and the feeble-minded socialites that contaminate this place.

Keep your hope to yourself! It's draining on my mental state when I hear the word "hope". I despise the word and don't want to hear it.



magz
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14 Jun 2019, 9:16 am

rhoades24 wrote:
"We all need to feel appreciated, needed and loved." False! There is no law or even cultural norm that expects this to happen.

There is also no law nor cultural norm to give everyone food, people are expected to earn for it themselves. Need is need, not some right or entitlement.


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Mona Pereth
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14 Jun 2019, 10:34 am

rhoades24 wrote:
I can't stop the desire to masturbate. Meds will just cause ED and make it more frustrating.

How do you know this? How do you know there aren't meds that would actually lower your sex drive rather than "just cause ED"?

I do know, from the experience of one man I know, that there are anti-depressants that can have the side-effect of reducing sex drive without causing ED.

Since you appear to be very depressed, judging by the content of this thread, you have every reason to see a psychiatrist and ask about medication.

In another post, you wrote:

rhoades24 wrote:
If you mean younger mothers, then they are probably gold diggers looking for a guy who makes much more than decent-pay.

On what basis do you believe that?

rhoades24 wrote:
America (USA) = $ and Fame. Nothing else. That's pretty much all there is to pursue here. An empty society with rich famous people, corporate companies, pornstars and escorts, casinos, and resorts. Nothing else.

Only if you confine yourself to mainstream pop culture. There are many, many subcultures you have evidently not explored. Try poking around on Meetup.


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- My "Getting to know each other" thread: Hello from NYC.


rhoades24
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14 Jun 2019, 11:06 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
How do you know this? How do you know there aren't meds that would actually lower your sex drive rather than "just cause ED"?

I do know, from the experience of one man I know, that there are anti-depressants that can have the side-effect of reducing sex drive without causing ED.

Since you appear to be very depressed, judging by the content of this thread, you have every reason to see a psychiatrist and ask about medication.


I am on medications my dear forum comrade. One is an antidepressant, remeron and klonopin for anxiety. I already see a psychiatrist and a therapist. Psychiatrist is helpful with prescribing meds, therapist seems to be useless. My belief is that most therapy is an over indulged luxury service that gets good profits.

Used Meetup. I already made a post on that. It sucks and some people that are there normally come off as creeps (males) and the women are usually way too old for my preference or the younger ones are cliquish and will congregate in all-female groups and ignore the average and creepy men. The activities are mostly boring. The ones that are interesting such as martial arts, don't normally have very many people there and none are usually interested in friendship and are there only to get better at the sport and I totally understand that.

Majority of people succumb to mainstream pop culture. Subcultures? Who? Hipsters in Williamsburg (pretentious douchebags)?



that1weirdgrrrl
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14 Jun 2019, 12:23 pm

I'm sorry you are going through this.

If you really want to dull those desires, I think your psychiatrist may be the best person to ask, as they likely know which drugs can help and not interfere with your other meds.

Best of luck :heart: