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Teach51
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20 Jun 2019, 4:15 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Well, talk is easy really.

My ex of 2 years claimed to be 'ideal' in this manner, always claiming that she doesn't care about looks and status and , and that she loves me endlessly bla bla.

After she cheated on me though, I did find out the reasons she hated in me from chatting her via a fake account (using a random bodybuilding guy photo) on the dating app she frequents a lot , she complained about her ex (who's me) for the very things she claims she doesn't care about (My short height, she even complained about my narrow shoulders lol, and even about social status and transportation (I share car with siblings so not always car-mobile) ) - and she was willing to cheat her current bf with the fake me, eager to get his phone number! lol. She turned out to be a b***h tho, that's for sure.

So yeah, don't blame me if my stomach turns while reading such idealism!



That must really hurt. Manipulating women exist and are difficult to identify. You deserve better.
It's very immature to discuss exes on social media and a trustworthy woman ( and there are trusworthy, mature women) would not do such a thing.

I know what it feels like to be betrayed, it's really hard to trust again.


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Teach51
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20 Jun 2019, 4:35 am

magz wrote:
Is there anything bad about marrying a woman from outside your culture? Maybe that's the idea!


In my country working class guys meet brides from the Philippines, Thailand and the Ukraine on- line. There are agencies that make a good living organising this. It is a marriage of convenience, the girls are unbelievably poor but often incredibly beautiful and some of the guys are physically disabled though not all. Sometimes it fails for various reasons, but often it works. Occasionally the girls are just looking for citizenship then disappear, sometimes the guys abuse them and treat them like sex objects. In the main though it works, and a respectful, loyal commitment develops. There was a documentary in my country that followed these couples for 5 years or so from the initial contact. These were all guys who couldn't find women in their own country. Asian girls who I know personally are really sweet, kind, loyal and hard-working, not as self-opinionated and demanding as myself at least :D

It is definitely an option worth exploring.


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kraftiekortie
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20 Jun 2019, 4:49 am

I know a few people who have done this. It’s a risk—but it can prove to be rewarding.

It is, inherently, an exploitative situation, though.

I am not an alpha male.....but I have succeeded in attracting women. And I feel like I still attract them, despite me being 58 years old. It’s because I have a Wolfman attitude.

I say....screw those who only like alpha males. They are missing out on the virtues of males who don’t feel the need to blatantly expose their alpha-ness.



cyberdad
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20 Jun 2019, 4:57 am

Teach51 wrote:
There was a documentary in my country that followed these couples for 5 years or so from the initial contact. These were all guys who couldn't find women in their own country. .


To be fair, this is a misrepresentation of the men who look for wives from Asia. The big attraction is loyalty and family values, something sorely missing in our western materialist orientated culture.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Jun 2019, 5:04 am

^^ Not always , my cheating ex is Asian :lol:.



cyberdad
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20 Jun 2019, 5:05 am

Yeah I guess that happens....



Teach51
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20 Jun 2019, 5:07 am

cyberdad wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
There was a documentary in my country that followed these couples for 5 years or so from the initial contact. These were all guys who couldn't find women in their own country. .


To be fair, this is a misrepresentation of the men who look for wives from Asia. The big attraction is loyalty and family values, something sorely missing in our western materialist orientated culture.



I agree with you on that point. Unfortunately this was not the big attraction for the men in the documentary. They wanted a good looking woman to look after them and a steady sex supply in the main.

I agree Cyber that these values of loyalty and family values are gradually disappearing,and seem to still prevail in Eastern cultures, the Western world is in a sad state indeed.


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kraftiekortie
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20 Jun 2019, 5:46 am

There’s still plenty of “family values” in the West—trust me.

There’s good and bad in “traditional family values.” Many times, there’s a “compulsory” aspect to them. Like you feel compelled in many ways.

If you’re an outsider within your family, “traditional family values” don’t feel so good.

Under decent conditions, though, family values promote stability and provide a bulwark against forces which bring many people down.

I still believe in “traditional family values”—but more as an ideal to shoot for, rather than as an actuality.



cyberdad
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20 Jun 2019, 6:03 am

Yeah I agree with what's being said about family values...I'm sure people do follow these. But girls who have good family values end up dating guys in their church.



kraftiekortie
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20 Jun 2019, 6:11 am

^^you do have that aspect of things.

But I believe, in urban areas (Within a US context, yet probably within other contexts as well), people frequently marry people they meet in college or on the job.

Or are introduced to somebody by friends or relatives.

You find the “church thing” mostly in the South (of the US), or in more traditional rural families in the Heartland.

I’ve had to take unconventional routes to find love. I never would have made it had I stuck to “normal, traditional” routes.



cyberdad
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20 Jun 2019, 6:48 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I’ve had to take unconventional routes to find love. I never would have made it had I stuck to “normal, traditional” routes.

Amen to that!



cyberdad
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20 Jun 2019, 6:49 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^^ Not always , my cheating ex is Asian :lol:.

Bruh! there's plenty of Asian girls to go around. If I had my time again I'd jump straight into that pool when I hit puberty, so many beautiful Asian girls and so little time :D



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20 Jun 2019, 8:38 am

I believe in traditional family values up to a point. I guess it depends on what one means by that. I’ve never cheated on anybody.

I believe in relationships based on equality. I don’t believe in clearly defined gender roles, and I’m not that keen on the idea of marriage.

A committed, monogamous relationship would be ideal, though.



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20 Jun 2019, 10:06 am

magz wrote:
Is there anything bad about marrying a woman from outside your culture? Maybe that's the idea!


I am not against that at all. The problem is that I didn't go to the public school in the city I live in but instead a Christian private school until the second part of the 8th grade where I was made to go to a redneck school so I didn't get to interact with kids from the Asian, Indian, and Arabic communities thus missing out on expanding my social network.



Mona Pereth
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20 Jun 2019, 10:25 am

cyberdad wrote:
Yeah I agree with what's being said about family values...I'm sure people do follow these. But girls who have good family values end up dating guys in their church.

It's kinda hard to have "good family values" apart from a larger sense of community that your family fits into.

Church or another religious body can fill that role for religious people. Nonreligious people need something else to fill that role -- a need that many people in the West don't even recognize, or have no idea how to fill even if they do recognize it.

Mainstream modern mass culture doesn't cut it. It's too superficial, and it's not something the vast majority of people can participate in directly. And it's not a stabilizing influence even on the people who CAN participate directly -- the stars -- who, if anything, have an incentive to have endless drama in their lives, as a way to keep themselves in the news.

There are organizations intended to fill a church-like role for atheists: the Ethical Culture Society, the Sunday Assembly, and various organizations with the word "atheist" or "humanist"/"humanism" in their names. The vast majority of atheists do not feel drawn to participate in these organizations, however.

Another way to fill that role is participation in a subculture of people who face common challenges. Thus the autistic community, if it were to become much better organized, could fill that role to at least some extent. Only problem is, due to its lopsided male-to-female ratio, it wouldn't, by itself, be very helpful to the men in finding partners.

(What MIGHT work, as an indirect way to bring SOME autistic men together with a pool of available women, might be for someone to launch a support organization for single and divorced PARENTS of autistic children and recruit autistic adults to work as volunteers in fund-raising events, etc. The single and divorced parents who join such an organization would, in all likelihood, be mostly women. Of course the only men who could appeal to these women would be men who have steady jobs and an ability/willingness to help care for children.)


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