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ConverseFan
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02 Aug 2019, 12:24 am

I really like my girlfriend. We have gone to school together. She graduated this year. She also has Autism. She is awesome to be around. She understands me more than anyone else. We have been dating for around 2 months.


She feels the same way I do. We love each other. We have talked about marriage. We think it would work. I mentioned it to my parents and they had a long talk with me about how I am not ready for that and that I am not mature enough. They also don't think it would ever be a good idea for me. I want to be mature enough. Her parents also don't think it would be a good idea because she is going to college and I will still be in high school in the fall.

My parents were also not fully comfortable with me dating at first. They thought I wasn't emotionally mature enough. They are more comfortable knowing that my girlfriend also has autism though. She helps me out with stuff that I struggle with and I help her with stuff she struggles with. She doesn't mind that I don't talk a lot and she thinks I am a great listener. I like listening to her talk. She talks a lot. We also go to a lot of cool places, like the library or coffee shops. She knows how much I like iced coffee. We also go to the park a lot. I really like her company and I am going to miss seeing her at school.

My parents like that I feel happy though but they sort of don't want me to date. They talk to me about their concerns all the time. My aide/tutor that I see once a week even talks to me about dating and relationships. My parents are concerned because I am semi nonverbal and because they think my girlfriend is higher functioning than me. She is non judgemental though and loves me.



cyberdad
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02 Aug 2019, 2:01 am

ConverseFan wrote:
Her parents also don't think it would be a good idea because she is going to college and I will still be in high school in the fall.

My parents were also not fully comfortable with me dating at first. They thought I wasn't emotionally mature enough. .


I think it's beautiful you have such a wonderful G/F. But I relate more to both your parents and her parents. You are 18years old and in highschool. She is going to College and has aspirations to higher study.

You G/F will love you more if you tell her you are willing to wait for her to finish college and find a job (both of you). Is it possible for you to maintain contact with her? can you both meet up on weekends while she's in college?



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Aug 2019, 3:20 am

She will find another guy if you two go to different colleges. Fact.



magz
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02 Aug 2019, 3:52 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
She will find another guy if you two go to different colleges. Fact.

My close friend and his girlfriend met at age of 18, then they studied in different cities for 5 years, then she came to live with him and they are still together, 15 years now.
I guess it depends on personalities.

OP, I think you are a bit young to get married now. At least in my culture, marriage means social and financial independence of the couple, it's hard to afford at the point of life you are.
If you are both willing to wait for each other and keep on dating, I wish you both the best :heart:


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ConverseFan
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02 Aug 2019, 9:52 am

cyberdad wrote:
ConverseFan wrote:
Her parents also don't think it would be a good idea because she is going to college and I will still be in high school in the fall.

My parents were also not fully comfortable with me dating at first. They thought I wasn't emotionally mature enough. .


I think it's beautiful you have such a wonderful G/F. But I relate more to both your parents and her parents. You are 18years old and in highschool. She is going to College and has aspirations to higher study.

You G/F will love you more if you tell her you are willing to wait for her to finish college and find a job (both of you). Is it possible for you to maintain contact with her? can you both meet up on weekends while she's in college?



I will tell her I am willing to wait. She is going to a college nearby. I will be able to see her a lot. Maybe my parents would be more open to the idea if we waited.



XFilesGeek
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02 Aug 2019, 10:17 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
She will find another guy if you two go to different colleges. Fact.


^ This.

And, statistically, the majority of "high school romances" don't work out in the long term.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Aug 2019, 10:21 am

But the ones that DO work----work much better than any other sorts of marriages.

I wish I had a "childhood sweetheart" to marry.....



ConverseFan
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02 Aug 2019, 11:06 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
She will find another guy if you two go to different colleges. Fact.


We will not be going to different colleges. Its my plan to go to college. Although it will be a different program. I feel it will work out.



cyberdad
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02 Aug 2019, 10:34 pm

ConverseFan wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
ConverseFan wrote:
Her parents also don't think it would be a good idea because she is going to college and I will still be in high school in the fall.

My parents were also not fully comfortable with me dating at first. They thought I wasn't emotionally mature enough. .


I think it's beautiful you have such a wonderful G/F. But I relate more to both your parents and her parents. You are 18years old and in highschool. She is going to College and has aspirations to higher study.

You G/F will love you more if you tell her you are willing to wait for her to finish college and find a job (both of you). Is it possible for you to maintain contact with her? can you both meet up on weekends while she's in college?


I will tell her I am willing to wait. She is going to a college nearby. I will be able to see her a lot. Maybe my parents would be more open to the idea if we waited.


That's great, I think so long as you maintain regular contact with her and encourage her studies in college then you will both benefit in the long run



cyberdad
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02 Aug 2019, 10:36 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
But the ones that DO work----work much better than any other sorts of marriages.

I wish I had a "childhood sweetheart" to marry.....


I had a childhood sweetheart in primary school but she left and moved to another school...always wondered what happened to her? she would be in her 50s now