In-laws seems uninterested to get to know me - dealing how?

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I would like to ask if anyone who has been or are in a serious longterm relationship can relate to this question. I wonder if it's a bad sign if your in-laws never asked a single question about you ever? We been together many years, I felt just tired meeting people that seem so uninterested to get to know me that I have been avoiding them completely the last 2 years. They know I got my difficulties and are on the spectrum but they still wanna meet up in noisy places which also is a reason I just don't go anymore. Its fine for me to avoid but not sure this is the way to go.

Anyone can relate? I will not talk with them privately, I know them too little for that.

My first pair of in-laws wouldn't talk to me after they found out I have some non-white ancestry.

The second pair ... because they weren't completely fluent in English.

It seems like some weird unspoken rule that the parents of your SO are supposed to be put off from you.

I have experienced this, unfortunately.
And I dealt with it very poorly.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice; I can just commiserate.

I would say that it is hard to say.

The in-laws may not fully understand your condition. I know loads of people who do not understand the nature of sensory sensitivity or what sensory overload meltdowns are, even after the many charities have put out loads of campaigns out to educate people such as the NAS "too much information" campaign.

My own parents for example. I have spent the last 4 years trying to educate them on my sound sensitivity.
But my father for example, isn't very understanding. He does try to be, but doesn't really listen to what i tell him.

It is only now after 4 years of complaining (after a lifetime of complaining previously, which didn't get much a response because i was a kid etc. and the "its my house so i'll do what i want to phrase came up").

The other day i finally got through to my dad that its not only loud noise that does my head in, i am someone who does not filter - so more than one sound source (such as TV in one room and someone whistling in the next room, with doors open) makes me ill, as i can focus on either. I also am not into certain types of sounds even if they are low volume.

All to do with pitch i guess.

There you go. So your in-laws may not be asking you to meet in an noisy area intentionally, but may just not fully understand how noisy environments effects you completely.

Also, what you see as a lack of interest in you, may simply be "not really sure what to do".
Of course, sometimes in-laws can be not so nice. I have experienced that to the extreme, but that's another story.

But unless you know for sure they are hostile, i would recommend not to jump to conclusions.
If they are hostile towards you, perhaps you can get your partner to help improve this.
If that doesn't work, perhaps you can still have a good relationship with your partner.

Hope that helps.

I've been married for three years and it took alcohol and me deciding to finally have a real conversation with them (last week) even though I didn't really want to, and they sort of warmed up to me. I'm kind of aloof and I'm my husband's second marriage so I think that didn't help either. But I also don't really need to feel like they like me or need to have a close relationship with me. We're cordial and that's that. They don't really ask me about my life and that's okay with me. My parents don't either... I can't remember the last time I actually spoke to my dad and I don't really keep in touch with my mom.

To be honest I've noticed that most people really don't try to get to know other people. People just seem to offer things about themselves in conversation and it just kind of keeps going from there. I'm uncomfortable with doing that so I don't and so people just don't really get to know me well.