Why do almost all 'incels' blame their situation on looks?

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Ask "how are you" in Poland and - unless the person you ask knows the expected answer would be "fine" as part of their foreign language training - you will hear all the troubles and worries of the one you asked

I suspect the "Latvian jokes" have similar origin as they were invented by an American living in Latvia.

I just had sex last weekend tho, I am fine. I guess.

I will ask you in the Arab way:
How are you?
How’s the family?
How’s the hubby?
How’s work?
How’s the health?

All in a row.

That's the West African way, too.....Down in Senegal, people often have five-minute introductory greetings.

Should I answer "Fine, praise God" to each separately or to all collectively?

To each separately and if you don’t answer smartly then often it branches to more questions..!

One aspect to consider is the sheer amount of self-hatred internalised from books like Every Man's BAttle and the other aspects of Purity Culture. Also related is how the book declares sexually -enthusiastic women as out of bounds.

The "BJ Blowers" archetype in the book matches the "Stacy" archetype.

They are being taught Origen/Jerome levels of misogyny.

I don't really see how you find purity culture responsible for guys bitter for not getting laid. In purity culture, being a virgin is a virtue, not shame.

Sounds like it's 'Mercanizing over there quite a bit.

The way ThinkingApe puts it, the US was the only place where people would ask a person such a profound question as 'How are you?', let alone demand a speedy tight-lipped response of 'Grate grate! I'm swwellll!'. I can kinda see his point, it's almost analogous to 'What's 2 + 2?' '5!' 'Great! Just making sure you're still obedient to the party!', although I think here the question is more of a sub-in for 'You're not going to rob or rape me right?' to which the canned 'Grate! I'm swell!' is an answer in the affirmative.

Don't get me wrong, if a culture is shifting to a state of lower trust I get that such bizarre handshakes are needed to some degree as fiat short term contracts, but this doesn't seem like it's a habit that we want to be unconscious of the purposes behind or the reasons why it's going through strange contortions or why the cult of positivity is such a big thing. It seems to signal that we're accruing sociological problems and at best slapping duct tape and band-aids on them rather than taking any serious shot at fixing them.

If you read the book - it is basically Origen 101 (talked about women as "bags of pus" before castrating himself). Back in the 4th century.

Does the book author also talk like that about women?
I still don't get how you link Origen's misogyny (or what appears misogynic to today's reader) to current day frustrations about not having sex.

It's more like the Incels were looking for excuses for their involuntary celibacy, stumbled upon Origen, and found in it their reasons for cause.

It's a cart-before-the-horse thing.

Do you mean it's just looking for a scapegoat to blame? Then I guess Origen is not better or worse than anything or anyone. You can't get laid because of Jengis Khan and Captain Picard. And that annoying miniature pintscher your neighbor owns.

Yes, that seems to be a common behavior among Incels -- fail first and find something to blame later (anything but themselves, that is), when they should work on improving themselves first before attempting to find a date.Maybe that's why the current Administration blames the previous Administration for so many things...

I've identified with various subcultures to an extent, but far from completely. I tend to be drawn to newly-forming fringe groups within a given subculture. In my experience, newly-forming fringe groups tended to be dominated by people who I now think were probably autistic or otherwise neurodivergent, whereas, once the group got more established, it tended to be taken over by people who I now think were probably NTs. Sometimes the founders then moved on the create new fringe groups.


Yes, but it takes time to get to know a potential love interest, and the easiest way to get to know a potential love interest is through mutual friends, or at least mutual acquaintances. And, if you don't fit well into mainstream society, then the easiest way to find a network of mutual friends, or at least mutual acquaintances, is via oddball subcultures.


This is something many of us have NOT experienced, as has been pointed out by various people here.


Well, your daughter is genetically similar enough to you that you can read her natural body language, and she also talked at home, so you knew her very well.


I think that claiming it's "not" a friendship is far more confusing. Below is an online dictionary definition of the word "friend":


The usual meaning of "friend" is definition #1. Note that NONE of these definitions (other than the social media one) say anything about the method of initiating the friendship. Note the absence of any definition along the lines of "a person who becomes attached to another via gossip, unfocused chit chat, and talk about feelings."

You realise that not everyone who fails is entirely to blame for their own faliure, right? They're mostly if not wholly responsible for ensuring they succeed, but other people and factors can sabotage your success.

It would be unfair to blame someone who is autistic for having underdeveloped social skills, for instance. Sure, it's up to them to improve, but that doesn't mean it's their fault that their social skills aren't as good as everyone else's. This is especially true if they've already taken measures to improve their social skills that haven't worked out.

It just seems like you're trying to put all of the blame on people who chronically struggle with love and dating for the position that they're in, which isn't fair. While most bear at least some responsibility, there's a myriad of factors that could affect their success in love and dating that were/are beyond their control. Yes, they're responsible for rectifying the problem but that doesn't mean they're entirely to blame for the problem existing in the first place.