Another Year Older, No Better Off

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Prometheus18
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13 Aug 2019, 6:09 pm

This thread is now officially about my pet peeves. Next up: metric units :lol:



kraftiekortie
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13 Aug 2019, 6:32 pm

Nobody actually says Joisey lol

A New Yorker would say “Jur-see.”



Prometheus18
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13 Aug 2019, 6:40 pm

I'd love to go to New York just to show off my cut-glass, patrician British accent. The ladies love that sort of thing over there, or so I'm told.



kraftiekortie
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13 Aug 2019, 6:44 pm

Yeah.....they do.



kraftiekortie
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13 Aug 2019, 6:45 pm

That's how you get girls, Grand Inquisitor.

That's what we're doing in your thread now----being spontaneous.



Prometheus18
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13 Aug 2019, 6:48 pm

Do you still have people employed to shine shoes on Wall Street? We did away with that in the City long ago. Too elitist and bourgeois, or something.



kraftiekortie
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13 Aug 2019, 6:55 pm

You might be able to get a shoeshine guy in Grand Central Station.



Prometheus18
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13 Aug 2019, 7:00 pm

Jolly good, old boy.



The Grand Inquisitor
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18 Aug 2019, 12:20 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It would be much better for you, Grand Inquisitor, if you had something you were REALLY interested in. I'm really interested in the weather. I don't need a lover to love the weather.

I truly feel like women like guys better who have interests enough to not focus on THEM primarily (the guy on women). There is a fear amongst women of guys who become fixated on them.

I know this----because I was one of those guys. A woman I worked with wanted to "experiment" on me, so to speak. But I thought she really "loved" me. And I felt like I wanted to marry her. But she was not serious about me at all. We had a couple of dates, I became fixated on her, then she stopped taking my calls. I felt devastated about it for two full years. And my "friends who were women" just didn't want to hear it. And my friends who were guys didn't want to "hear it," either. And women felt disgusted about me---until it was evident that the obsession faded away, and it was evident I had interests other than "finding a woman." I did much better after the age of 23 or so.

My experience taught me that a man should never SEEM like he is pursuing women only. Not that I believe you give off that "vibe." But I'm conveying how things got a little better for me after a pretty long drought because I was fixated on this one woman----and on getting a girlfriend in general.

Yeah, I totally get what you're saying about the whole fixation thing. My crushes used to all be like that, but with no reciprocation it became too emotionally crushing to allow that to continue. I'm now more reserved and don't allow myself to fixate on people, especially if there is no reason to believe that they're interested in me.

And I know what you're saying about seeming like you're pursuing women only. The problem is that the only thing that would motivate me to participate in activities where I might meet women would be the prospect of meeting women. I just don't care to get out that much, and if I had a girlfriend I doubt If be considering interest groups and the like.



The Grand Inquisitor
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18 Aug 2019, 12:24 am

martianprincess wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

I always wanted to lose my virginity with someone else who was also a virgin. Now, being non-religious and looking for a non-religious partner, the chances of that are almost zero. I'd give anything to have started dating in my teens and have a normal dating life.



Why is that something you feel like you need?
When I was 26 I dated someone who was 23. He was a virgin and I was his first girlfriend. He wasn't bad looking and I really didn't understand why he was single for so long. He had never even kissed anyone before.
I was pretty sexually experienced when we met but I didn't mind he was a virgin and we had a good connection. If you truly care about someone it doesn't matter if they are a virgin or not. I definitely didn't think about that during our physical encounters (or any other time, really) and I never compared him to anyone else, because that's silly and pointless. Most people don't, I imagine.

It's not something I feel I need. It's something I hoped for.

Another concern I have though is if I was to get into a long-term relationship with someone who had had other sexual partners in the past and they were the only sexual partner I'd ever had, that wouldn't sit well with me.



The Grand Inquisitor
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18 Aug 2019, 12:30 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You need a full transformation on several levels probably, starting with your appearance, you won’t get a different output if you remain the same every year.

And no, you are not “too young”... the time will fly so fast.

On at least a few levels, I'd agree.

And yeah like I said I am starting with my weight.

For some of the other changes I don't know where to start.



auntblabby
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18 Aug 2019, 1:01 am

OP, what do you think of the idea of using an escort, just to get the sex out of your system?



The Grand Inquisitor
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18 Aug 2019, 2:10 am

auntblabby wrote:
OP, what do you think of the idea of using an escort, just to get the sex out of your system?

Sex isn't the most important part of the equation for me, and in my view it loses appeal when both parties aren't mutually interested in having sex (which would be the case if one party has to pay the other). It's not a route I've ever wanted to go down, but I have considered the pros and cons.

The pros are that I would have a small amount of sexual experience that would likely be helpful for if I am ever able to meet someone who wants to have sex with me, and I would no longer retain my status as a virgin.

The cons are it wouldn't make me feel any better about the state of my love life, and if anything it might make me feel worse. "I've never had sex with anybody" is marginally better than "I've never had sex with anybody except for with people who would never have done it if they hadn't been paid". It would also make for a "first time" story that I would be ashamed of, and if I end up really liking the sex, I'd be giving myself a taste of something that I may not get for a very long time.

To me, sex with an escort wouldn't count for anything in the same way that paying people to spend time with me wouldn't make them my friends.

All-in-all I don't see escorts as being the way to go. If I wasn't faced with the problems that I have, I'd never even consider it in the first place.



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18 Aug 2019, 2:20 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
OP, what do you think of the idea of using an escort, just to get the sex out of your system?

Sex isn't the most important part of the equation for me, and in my view it loses appeal when both parties aren't mutually interested in having sex (which would be the case if one party has to pay the other). It's not a route I've ever wanted to go down, but I have considered the pros and cons. The pros are that I would have a small amount of sexual experience that would likely be helpful for if I am ever able to meet someone who wants to have sex with me, and I would no longer retain my status as a virgin. The cons are it wouldn't make me feel any better about the state of my love life, and if anything it might make me feel worse. "I've never had sex with anybody" is marginally better than "I've never had sex with anybody except for with people who would never have done it if they hadn't been paid". It would also make for a "first time" story that I would be ashamed of, and if I end up really liking the sex, I'd be giving myself a taste of something that I may not get for a very long time. To me, sex with an escort wouldn't count for anything in the same way that paying people to spend time with me wouldn't make them my friends. All-in-all I don't see escorts as being the way to go. If I wasn't faced with the problems that I have, I'd never even consider it in the first place.

i would, if i was you, nevertheless try it once just to familiarize yourself with the female anatomy and the graceful way a male body can juxtapose/fit within a female body. then at least it won't be a mystery. if you do this when you are young like you are, it will save you from what i experienced, not having a clue until i was in my 5th decade of living, by which time the equipment didn't work properly anymore. so do it when you are young and still fit enough for the job. that is my old-man advice to a young man, an old man who sincerely wishes a brother aspie could avoid his fate. do it while you are still young enough to enjoy it, even if it is with an escort. if one has pride in this manner ["i would NEVER be caught dead with an escort" or "i'm ashamed of being with an escort"], one should instead see it as better than nothing, sometimes a LOT better than nothing. see it as utility or a means to an end [unintentional pun ;) ], that of preparing yourself for possible later activity with another partner should that ever happen to you. i never expected it to happen and in my fifties i just prepared to live however many few years i had left as a hard-core incel. but life is what happens when one has made other plans, and somebody on WP literally fell into my lap. i was NOT prepared and it ended badly [mebbe if i WAS prepared it would have turned out better] but still, life is full of surprises. a surprise is when something happens that one did not suspect would happen.



The Grand Inquisitor
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20 Aug 2019, 9:13 pm

auntblabby wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
OP, what do you think of the idea of using an escort, just to get the sex out of your system?

Sex isn't the most important part of the equation for me, and in my view it loses appeal when both parties aren't mutually interested in having sex (which would be the case if one party has to pay the other). It's not a route I've ever wanted to go down, but I have considered the pros and cons. The pros are that I would have a small amount of sexual experience that would likely be helpful for if I am ever able to meet someone who wants to have sex with me, and I would no longer retain my status as a virgin. The cons are it wouldn't make me feel any better about the state of my love life, and if anything it might make me feel worse. "I've never had sex with anybody" is marginally better than "I've never had sex with anybody except for with people who would never have done it if they hadn't been paid". It would also make for a "first time" story that I would be ashamed of, and if I end up really liking the sex, I'd be giving myself a taste of something that I may not get for a very long time. To me, sex with an escort wouldn't count for anything in the same way that paying people to spend time with me wouldn't make them my friends. All-in-all I don't see escorts as being the way to go. If I wasn't faced with the problems that I have, I'd never even consider it in the first place.

i would, if i was you, nevertheless try it once just to familiarize yourself with the female anatomy and the graceful way a male body can juxtapose/fit within a female body. then at least it won't be a mystery. if you do this when you are young like you are, it will save you from what i experienced, not having a clue until i was in my 5th decade of living, by which time the equipment didn't work properly anymore. so do it when you are young and still fit enough for the job. that is my old-man advice to a young man, an old man who sincerely wishes a brother aspie could avoid his fate. do it while you are still young enough to enjoy it, even if it is with an escort. if one has pride in this manner ["i would NEVER be caught dead with an escort" or "i'm ashamed of being with an escort"], one should instead see it as better than nothing, sometimes a LOT better than nothing. see it as utility or a means to an end [unintentional pun ;) ], that of preparing yourself for possible later activity with another partner should that ever happen to you. i never expected it to happen and in my fifties i just prepared to live however many few years i had left as a hard-core incel. but life is what happens when one has made other plans, and somebody on WP literally fell into my lap. i was NOT prepared and it ended badly [mebbe if i WAS prepared it would have turned out better] but still, life is full of surprises. a surprise is when something happens that one did not suspect would happen.

Yeah, I hear what you're saying, but like I said, the cons outweigh the pros here for me, and if it came to a choice between only having sex with escorts and never having sex at all, I'd probably go with the latter, though both are gut-wrenching.

I'm currently working on losing weight, and I'm hoping after I've completed that process that I may get different results. I've already decided that I'm not going to allow myself to reach 30 without ever having a relationship and/or mutually enjoyable sex, so losing my virginity after the age of 30 isn't something that warrants consideration for me.