What do you do question.
24 Sep 2019, 10:22 am
How do I handle it if someone ask wither or not I work or not? I don't want to disclose wither or not I have Autism it takes a lot of energy disclosing it to people. Should I just till someone I'm self employed is that acceptable? I just don't want to face rejection over something I can't help nor have control over.
24 Sep 2019, 12:00 pm
If you don't have a job and get to know someone, they will find out sooner or later. How long it will take them to figure it out may, among other factors, depend on whether you also don't have money. Not having a job and having lied about it won't make a better impression than just not having a job.
That is, if what you're looking for is a relationship. If it's casual sex the other person may not figure it out and your job or lack thereof may not be of any concern to them. Some may have moral objections to lying but in that case it is possible to get away with it.
Being self employed is as good as having a job, provided that you actually are and that you actually make money. There's nothing negative or strange about being self-employed. If it is a lie you can't hide it forever and the other person is likely to get angry once they figure out that you lied.
If you don't have a job and are not self-employed you don't have to disclose your autism just because you tell the truth about your employment situation. Yes, the other person may ask why. Come up with a reply to that question in advance. Just because it is due to your autism doesn't mean that you can't word it in a way that is still mostly true but doesn't mention autism.
Yes, being unemployed itself may cause rejection. How much it matters depends on your age, your overall situation - e.g. do you have independent living skills and do you have money - and on how you talk about being unemployed - e.g. getting very nervous or defensive may make it worse. Disclosing your autism or not wouldn't usually change that.
24 Sep 2019, 12:14 pm
That is, if what you're looking for is a relationship. If it's casual sex the other person may not figure it out and your job or lack thereof may not be of any concern to them. Some may have moral objections to lying but in that case it is possible to get away with it.
Being self employed is as good as having a job, provided that you actually are and that you actually make money. There's nothing negative or strange about being self-employed. If it is a lie you can't hide it forever and the other person is likely to get angry once they figure out that you lied.
If you don't have a job and are not self-employed you don't have to disclose your autism just because you tell the truth about your employment situation. Yes, the other person may ask why. Come up with a reply to that question in advance. Just because it is due to your autism doesn't mean that you can't word it in a way that is still mostly true but doesn't mention autism.
Yes, being unemployed itself may cause rejection. How much it matters depends on your age, your overall situation - e.g. do you have independent living skills and do you have money - and on how you talk about being unemployed - e.g. getting very nervous or defensive may make it worse. Disclosing your autism or not wouldn't usually change that.
Luckily in the US, strangers generally don't ask questions like why you are unemployed, (or why you are not married, or don't have kids, or what do you make). Here these are considered intrusive, unlike in say Asian or ME countries (where I fend off personal questions all the time)
24 Sep 2019, 1:43 pm
That is, if what you're looking for is a relationship. If it's casual sex the other person may not figure it out and your job or lack thereof may not be of any concern to them. Some may have moral objections to lying but in that case it is possible to get away with it.
Being self employed is as good as having a job, provided that you actually are and that you actually make money. There's nothing negative or strange about being self-employed. If it is a lie you can't hide it forever and the other person is likely to get angry once they figure out that you lied.
If you don't have a job and are not self-employed you don't have to disclose your autism just because you tell the truth about your employment situation. Yes, the other person may ask why. Come up with a reply to that question in advance. Just because it is due to your autism doesn't mean that you can't word it in a way that is still mostly true but doesn't mention autism.
Yes, being unemployed itself may cause rejection. How much it matters depends on your age, your overall situation - e.g. do you have independent living skills and do you have money - and on how you talk about being unemployed - e.g. getting very nervous or defensive may make it worse. Disclosing your autism or not wouldn't usually change that.
Luckily in the US, strangers generally don't ask questions like why you are unemployed, (or why you are not married, or don't have kids, or what do you make). Here these are considered intrusive, unlike in say Asian or ME countries (where I fend off personal questions all the time)
Sorta right. Though I’m very sensitive when it comes to telling people. As it’s exhausting to me. I am technically self employed though and have normal living skills. And though I am looking for something casual even casual dating as well.
24 Sep 2019, 2:08 pm
Being self-employed is perfectly fine. Generally, I don't think potential dating, relationship or sex partners will see it as a negative.
But I'm a bit confused as to what self-employment has to do with autism. Some NTs are self-employed too.
Why would you need to disclose your autism?
24 Sep 2019, 2:08 pm
That is, if what you're looking for is a relationship. If it's casual sex the other person may not figure it out and your job or lack thereof may not be of any concern to them. Some may have moral objections to lying but in that case it is possible to get away with it.
Being self employed is as good as having a job, provided that you actually are and that you actually make money. There's nothing negative or strange about being self-employed. If it is a lie you can't hide it forever and the other person is likely to get angry once they figure out that you lied.
If you don't have a job and are not self-employed you don't have to disclose your autism just because you tell the truth about your employment situation. Yes, the other person may ask why. Come up with a reply to that question in advance. Just because it is due to your autism doesn't mean that you can't word it in a way that is still mostly true but doesn't mention autism.
Yes, being unemployed itself may cause rejection. How much it matters depends on your age, your overall situation - e.g. do you have independent living skills and do you have money - and on how you talk about being unemployed - e.g. getting very nervous or defensive may make it worse. Disclosing your autism or not wouldn't usually change that.
Luckily in the US, strangers generally don't ask questions like why you are unemployed, (or why you are not married, or don't have kids, or what do you make). Here these are considered intrusive, unlike in say Asian or ME countries (where I fend off personal questions all the time)
Since this thread is in L&D I was assuming we're not talking about complete strangers only but also about people you are getting to know.
24 Sep 2019, 4:03 pm
If you are dating someone, sooner or later, they will find out, you are not employed.
Unless you cover it up. Which would take even more energy than getting a job
If you don't tell them you are autistic, they will form their own assumptions
They will assume things worse than autism
Plenty of precious lil "people" have had the nerve to tell me that "you don't look autistic"
So , if you tell them, they might not be receptive
There is something wrong with everything
nick007
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24 Sep 2019, 5:44 pm
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The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Sep 2019, 7:26 am
That is, if what you're looking for is a relationship. If it's casual sex the other person may not figure it out and your job or lack thereof may not be of any concern to them. Some may have moral objections to lying but in that case it is possible to get away with it.
Being self employed is as good as having a job, provided that you actually are and that you actually make money. There's nothing negative or strange about being self-employed. If it is a lie you can't hide it forever and the other person is likely to get angry once they figure out that you lied.
If you don't have a job and are not self-employed you don't have to disclose your autism just because you tell the truth about your employment situation. Yes, the other person may ask why. Come up with a reply to that question in advance. Just because it is due to your autism doesn't mean that you can't word it in a way that is still mostly true but doesn't mention autism.
Yes, being unemployed itself may cause rejection. How much it matters depends on your age, your overall situation - e.g. do you have independent living skills and do you have money - and on how you talk about being unemployed - e.g. getting very nervous or defensive may make it worse. Disclosing your autism or not wouldn't usually change that.
Luckily in the US, strangers generally don't ask questions like why you are unemployed, (or why you are not married, or don't have kids, or what do you make). Here these are considered intrusive, unlike in say Asian or ME countries (where I fend off personal questions all the time)
Sorta right. Though I’m very sensitive when it comes to telling people. As it’s exhausting to me. I am technically self employed though and have normal living skills. And though I am looking for something casual even casual dating as well.
Typical Asian/ME conversations:
Her: Are you married?
Me: No [translation: f**k off]
Her: Why are you not married?
Me: I don't want [translation: f**k off]
Her: You are probably hiding something, you are surely married.
Me: I am really not [translation: f**k off]
Her: Do you work?
Me: Yes
Her: What do you work?
Me: I work in Software development.
Her: What exactly?
Me:I code [f**k off]
Her: Oooh..do you have a girlfriend?
Me: Kinda
Her: Huh? what kinda? what do you mean?
Me: no commitment, I just date her.
Her: You mean only for sex right? Yo should marry her.
Me: It's mutual [Translation: f**k your judgements]
Her: Does she live with you?
Me: No
Her: Why don't you live together?
Me: We don't want [Translation: f**k off]
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