Complimenting a lady, where do I go from there?

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Outsider85
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16 Sep 2019, 7:13 pm

How many questions should I ask after that?

kraftiekortie
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16 Sep 2019, 9:06 pm

Hopefully, none....unless it’s part of the conversation.

smudge
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17 Sep 2019, 4:16 am

Outsider85 wrote:

I plan on asking her for help finding a book and then ask her what is her favorite book of all time. How does that sound?

That sounds great, I wouldn't ask her her favourite book of all time though, otherwise it will limit the conversation to just that book and it may end very quickly. See this:

smudge wrote:

You could casually ask for her help in finding a book, then say how you enjoy reading that genre. Mention other books and maybe other genres you like. If she doesn't pick up on the books or genres you like and says she likes one of them too (and continue the conversation from there), then ask her what books or genres she enjoys. I wouldn't say "or" though like I said, otherwise it might sound uneasy. Just go with the topic you think best fits.

Thanks for the details btw, it helps a lot.

The point of asking her about a topic that is varied, that offers her choice, is so that she can easily continue the conversation by picking her favourite book out of a group.

i.e. You put a list of interests (in this case books/genres) out there to see which ones she shares an interest in. If you only offer her one interest, she and you will not know what interests you both share, so it will limit the conversation.

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red_doghubb
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17 Sep 2019, 11:02 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

About that. Talking to her for at least 30 minutes, nonstop, with a constant flow to the conversation.

I don't mean six occasions of saying "hi" and "bye."

two things to keep in mind:
1. she works there; she very well may not have 30 mins to talk to one patron
2. don't force the conversation to try to make 30 mins. The sign of a good conversation isn't how much time it takes, but whether it flows naturally, turns in new directions, is agreeable, and reveals aspects of the parties involved. A convo like that can last a long time, but don't go in with an mind set of "I must talk to her for x amount of time" as if that alone will do the trick.

Finally, if she does not seem to want to continue a discussion, squirms, gives short replies, starts darting her eyes around the room, gives closed mouth smiles that are almost grimaces, or moves away from you, abort the mission.

Outsider85
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17 Sep 2019, 2:01 pm

I’ll try to remember that.

Outsider85
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29 Sep 2019, 3:55 pm

I don’t think she is all that interested. I did ask her for help with finding a DVD and asked her if she was working hard or hardly working. She said a little bit of both and then went on her way and that was it.

smudge
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29 Sep 2019, 4:21 pm

Aw man, I told you to ask her a question she couldn't give a yes or no answer to. Damn.

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Outsider85
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29 Sep 2019, 5:09 pm

I asked her where a DVD was and she said it was in the feature film section. I wanted to tell her I had the actress’s autograph.

Outsider85
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03 Oct 2019, 5:12 pm

I give up on her. I’ve been talking to someone for about two days now online, Facebook dating. I will post new forum for this.

Outsider85
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16 Aug 2020, 9:04 pm

I don’t see her anymore at that library.

that1weirdgrrrl
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16 Aug 2020, 10:51 pm

Outsider85 wrote:

I don’t see her anymore at that library.

I don't see anyone at the library anymore :lol:

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Outsider85
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17 Aug 2020, 4:20 am

Before this pandemic began, I hadn’t seen her there since the New Year began.

rdos
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17 Aug 2020, 7:32 am

I think the library might work (at least when there is no pandemic), but the focus should not be on talking or compliments. The focus instead should be to set up regular "meetings". If that doesn't work, then it is time to give up instead of trying to talk to them.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2020, 2:31 pm

Outsider85 wrote:

As long as they are proper questions to ask. I’ve had some inappropriate questions asked to me before. Ex: do I have an STD and do I have a big wiener.

My reply: (almost yelling) now wait a second, now what kind of questions are these?

I would tell her yes, that I have a nasty herpes , then I cough to her face.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2020, 2:33 pm

Outsider85 wrote:

Before this pandemic began, I hadn’t seen her there since the New Year began.

She wasn't interested since day 1.

Please read this and get enlightened.
viewtopic.php?t=387442

BenderRodriguez
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17 Aug 2020, 3:42 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Outsider85 wrote:

Before this pandemic began, I hadn’t seen her there since the New Year began.

She wasn't interested since day 1.

Please read this and get enlightened.
viewtopic.php?t=387442

Not to be harsh, but you're spot on.

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