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How do I connect with my wife

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Johnpacklambert
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Age: 43
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Location: Detroit, Michigan

15 Sep 2019, 5:59 pm

I feel I have burned all my connections with my wife. She is burning herself out going to Nursing school. I currently work as a substitute teacher, making $104 a day on days I work.

I had a job working phone support for Airbnb but got too many low scores and was fired June 22nd. From then until last week I didnt work at all.

To make matters worse I at times stayed up late editing Wikipedia.

Then sometimes when I make mistakes like misplacing things I tell at our grandson and the my wife's cousin who sometimes stays with us.

Sometimes I get so worked up I scream really, really loud. My step daughter threatened to hit me in the face the last time I did this. Another time I hit the wall so hard with my head I knocked it in.

My wife has told me she wants to divorce. She constantly says I always mess things up. I feel emotionally destroyed.

I really contemplate suicide multiple times a day. I don't feel like living. I have been fired from jobs 4 times in the last 3 years. My wife constantly harps on how this is my fault but I refuse to take responsibility.

I am dieing on the inside. No matter what I do I feel I am being emotionally killed.



Mona Pereth
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16 Sep 2019, 2:50 am

Johnpacklambert wrote:
I feel I have burned all my connections with my wife. She is burning herself out going to Nursing school. I currently work as a substitute teacher, making $104 a day on days I work.

How is this job compared to the other ones?

Johnpacklambert wrote:
I had a job working phone support for Airbnb but got too many low scores and was fired June 22nd. From then until last week I didnt work at all.

To make matters worse I at times stayed up late editing Wikipedia.

Then sometimes when I make mistakes like misplacing things I tell at our grandson and the my wife's cousin who sometimes stays with us.

Sometimes I get so worked up I scream really, really loud. My step daughter threatened to hit me in the face the last time I did this. Another time I hit the wall so hard with my head I knocked it in.

Extreme irritability can be a sign of depression. Have you been seeing a psychiatrist and/or a psychotherapist for depression? Please note that some anti-depressant medications, such a Prozac, can be very good at helping people control irritable behavior, at least for some people.

In another post you mentioned that she thinks she's bipolar but has never been diagnosed. Would it be possible for both you and her to seek psychiatric help to stabilize your moods? That might help things between you and her a lot, if you really still want to continue the relationship.

Johnpacklambert wrote:
My wife has told me she wants to divorce. She constantly says I always mess things up. I feel emotionally destroyed.

Given the cheating you mentioned elsewhere, along with all the other problems between you and her, I think you should ask yourself whether trying to continue this relationships is really a good idea.


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Teach51
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16 Sep 2019, 3:32 am

Johnpacklambert wrote:
I feel I have burned all my connections with my wife. She is burning herself out going to Nursing school. I currently work as a substitute teacher, making $104 a day on days I work.

I had a job working phone support for Airbnb but got too many low scores and was fired June 22nd. From then until last week I didnt work at all.

To make matters worse I at times stayed up late editing Wikipedia.

Then sometimes when I make mistakes like misplacing things I tell at our grandson and the my wife's cousin who sometimes stays with us.

Sometimes I get so worked up I scream really, really loud. My step daughter threatened to hit me in the face the last time I did this. Another time I hit the wall so hard with my head I knocked it in.

My wife has told me she wants to divorce. She constantly says I always mess things up. I feel emotionally destroyed.

I really contemplate suicide multiple times a day. I don't feel like living. I have been fired from jobs 4 times in the last 3 years. My wife constantly harps on how this is my fault but I refuse to take responsibility.

I am dieing on the inside. No matter what I do I feel I am being emotionally killed.


Please try and find a good therapist, you can't deal with this on your own.


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quite an extreme
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16 Sep 2019, 2:00 pm

Teach51 wrote:
Please try and find a good therapist, you can't deal with this on your own.


I think that's right. You won't find right help here because you have to calm down and find the power to deal with your situation again. Nobody here knows you good enough to help you with this.
May be jogging could be a bit of help in the first step for getting a different focus and to find back to yourself. At least it's a lot better then to hit the walls with your head. Beside of anything you should try to sleep a bit more.

PS: Because of your wife. Talk to her about what's up with you. Allways stay nice to her. Hug her a bit more often as long as she still likes you a little bit.


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