An Aspie male giving me weird signals, not sure what to do?

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Hi, I'm 19 year old female studying at university in the UK and am in my second year. I have an assessment for suspected Asperger's syndrome in February, but it's looking pretty likely I have it.

In my first year, I met this guy in my accommodation block, and he happened to have Asperger's too. We made this really strong connection, and quite quickly we became attached to each other; we'd hang out until the early hours of the morning to talk, as we were catered in our dorms we'd often go and get dinner together, and things felt most comfortable and right between us when we were alone. He was quite protective early on and in general we were very close. I felt I got a lot of signals, such as he would always stand very close to me, make a lot of eye contact, and notice and comment on every little detail about me. He wouldn't like not talking to me or if he ever thought I was avoiding him, and got somewhat jealous of my male gay best friend.

However, throughout this whole time, these signals would be intercepted by him always bringing up this girl he fancied who lived near us. He didn't know her and had never spoken to her in his life, but one day spotted her and from that point onwards became a bit fixated with her, although I think she was staring at him a bit too. He would talk to everyone in the block at length about this girl, and how he could go up to her, and that what if she's the love of his life... and I began to feel maybe we were just friends, which I came to terms with eventually and constantly reminded myself. But when he was around her, he barely paid any attention to her and only focused on me. People around us could tell instantly we were really close, and my friend thought he liked me and I think people thought we were dating.

It's so strange. Then, over the summer, I didn't see him for months and got over him as I supposed he didn't like me. I was fine with that and felt okay with the idea of him getting a girlfriend, etc, as before it really tortured me, as it still does from time to time. Though I still really valued him as a friend and felt very attached to him. I always wanted him to be happy and be with someone he truly likes, and if that's not me, that's okay. But now, he's come back to uni and we're in the same block again, and he initially was a bit distant with me as I saw he was hanging out with this girl he met over the summer. He quickly decided, however, after seeing me for a bit again and staring at my hands while in opposite kitchens, that he would stop talking to her and start talking to me again intensely. My other friend said "he can't keep his eyes off you" and he knocks on my door sometimes, and wants to hang out with me and my friends again. Now we feel closer than ever, and you'd think it's alright, but it's not because I don't know how he truly feels.
I'm unsure of whether I'm just misreading cues, but I've been told that it's not me imagining it even from external sources...

I just don't know what to do, I'm at a loss. We've both got asperger's and struggle to communicate, but sometimes I think it's even more than that and he just wants me to look stupid after I crumble and ask him the question "do you like me?" and he says no. Then he gets to have the power and I feel diminished. I'm not sure if this is me being paranoid, or what he truly feels and what's right. I don't want to be too harsh on him but I've already been through this 'love me, love me not' thing and I got over it and now he wants it to start again it seems... I want to be lenient because he might just not know how he feels, but this is too much and it's really starting to take a toll on my mood again.

There are other signs that he likes me in his body language, etc, but I think you get the idea. Whenever he mentions these girls, he's always looking at me intently for my reaction, and I always react with joy and of course it's pretend, though I couldn't show him sadness. I thought maybe he was testing if I truly liked him, but who would do that for so long?

What should I do?

If you are both Aspergers there is only one way to solve any situation: bluntly talk about it. Ground rules can be set beforehand, along the lines of "no judging," or "no offense." It isn't a natural inclination for someone with ASD to play games. That doesn't mean it never happens, but it isn't natural, and I consider it unlikely he is trying to set you up.

Tune out what you think you know about relationships and signals from what your friends have told you or what you've seen on TV. ASD individuals tend to be their unique selves and not subject to conventional patterns. Don't try to read one into things.

I don't know if I would go with a "do you like me" question, because there might be different ways for him to interpret the phrase. Asking him what kind of relationship he wants to have with you might get a more complete response.

You are both still young and inexperienced, so mistakes will be made. Him believing the woman he was infatuated with was the love of his life was a youthful obsession, if you ask me. He didn't know her, it sounds like he didn't make attempts to know her, so it was never REAL. You, however, ARE real. Maybe he grew up over the summer and realized the difference.

My ASD son has said he wouldn't know what a signal meant if it hit him over the head, and he has no idea what kinds of signals he sends. But he has a girlfriend. His ground rules are simple: state everything in plain English, and both parties agree to not get offended by things said. They got together on that basis and they stay together on that basis.

If you like him, I hope it goes well. Good luck.