Thinking it’s time to give up

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If giving up will have zero effect on your day to day life activities, but it would mean you stopped thinking and obsessing about this topic that gives you such pain, then yes you should absolutely give up.

My sister in law offered to help me set up a different dating site profile and she also brought up the possibility of my other sister in law helping as well. My other sister in law hasn’t come down for the holidays yet, though.

Markins if you did not have Aspergers, you would be as popular as the other guys that do not have Aspergers. A guy with Aspergers has to explain to other people his intentions, he has Aspergers and has no idea on how to act in social situations. This makes you look weird and suspicious and not many women are going to find that attractive. Life does not become easier even if you learnt social skills or did a bunch of self improvement. It does not change the fact that you have Aspergers and that makes you appear weird and different to other people.

I signed up for an aspie singles site but I am the only one in my area on there.

Yeah, very true.

I've survived by playing off my freakishness. I had no idea how to do this when I was younger, but while working with students I let them know that I'm already well aware that I'm funny looking and sound weird. I'll say, "Yes, I'm aware of the smell. Yes, I bathe and USUALLY wear deodorant. No, there is nothing more I can do about it but keep my distance, and I'd appreciate it if you kept all further comments to yourself." In truth, I think there's a problem with the restroom ventilation, but the point is that we all understand where we stand together. When it came to dating, I allowed the relationship to be more guided by familiarity on a progressive basis. I even once admitted to a girl I was stalking her. It made her laugh and got me a date. But that was only because we'd gotten to know each other a little bit before I cut straight to my intentions. The more time you take, the easier it gets.

It doesn’t help that in the Bible Belt, people who are neuro-divergent are considered “ret*d”, “psychotic”, “crack heads”, and potentially serial killers in waiting.

IMO, it's just a stereotype, Brother Marknis. It seems as if people don't allow you to stand up for yourself.

I can see how in that environment, that could very well happen. (withdrawing, self medicating, pushed past limits) Kudos to you for reaching out to maintain perspective!

I just hate how it hasn’t lead to having a better life.

I hated that also, until I unconsciously decided to be delusional, and now I am looking for balance.

Sharon, age 27 walks up to apartment complex. Requests an apartment, fully expecting to get one. The staff person was perplexed as I was homeless and unemployed. My takeaway: "That person is mean! Policies like these are unfair for good people like me!" However, I went and got a temp address and a temp job so that "mean" people like that would rent me an apartment. The temp address is on my driver's license from that time (which of course had expired). I was homeless, unemployed and unlicensed --- had enough entitlement (delusion) to press through it.

I need some of that now. Of course you will hire me! Of course you will pay me well! Of course I will love the job and it will be mutually beneficial!

My husband says, "all in good time". He's known me for 20 years and say he sees the way I work. Suffer, anxious, suffer, anxious and then BOOM! it all fits together. Hmmm, just like doing puzzles, or cleaning up: everything gets pulled out of the nice box and strewn everywhere and then it all comes together...

I am in a "cleaning cycle" myself right now. I hope another piece of your Life fit falls into place soon. Can we see it as it's happening, or one day is it just there: the full picture?

Are you saying that I should view life as something always in progress?

Sorry...can't help but laugh at this one. I used to really hate that about people around me. But I've gotten to where I actually laugh when people call me a crackhead. The other stuff, which falls under the heading of "creep," well...when people first meet me they really don't know what to think. They assume I'm psychotic or "special" or a serial killer, and I've gotten to where I actually like that the initial impression of me is someone to fear. I'm really just a big puffball. The longer people stay around me they realize that's just Rho being Rho and that I'm completely harmless.

It always catches me by surprise when people still see me as a pushover. It seems every year there's at least one person I have to get pushy with, just making the point that I work hard, too, and will demand respect. This usually takes the form of reminding people who's paying their salaries. More recently I had the experience of being mistreated, so I called this person out and got administrators involved. She never acknowledged any wrong, never apologized...but her behavior towards me and my family is radically different.

Point is...if they call you "crackhead," let 'em. Enjoy it. Because being a "crackhead" or a "crazy m0th4f*cK3r" will open doors when the time is right.

I wish this year would hurry up and end. I don’t think I’ll post again after that, though.

If you act quick, you can find a date before this year ends.

You could still get a Christmas or New Year date if you tried. There are girls who aren't into heavy drinking sessions and who are actually looking for someone more introverted and shy. Someone they can chill with and maybe watch a chick flick on DVD together. It appeals to some women.

Introverts find it hard to find each other in a world dominated by loud extroverts. Introverts that stay at home and have no friends and avoid social situations are likely to remain alone unless something magically happens.