Need some dating ideas/help!

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Hi,

So, I've somehow managed to bumble into my first 3rd date in like 5 years... lol

Got 2 things I could really use some advice about...

1) What do you do when you run out of s**t to talk about? I suck at small talk (dont we all? )... Spent around 25 hours total talking to her between dates and phone calls, so we've covered all the normal basics (favorite movies, activities, etc etc). This is often where I start to have a lot of anxiety with new people...

If I can keep her interested long enough, lol, once I get past the first couple months of getting to know someone we can BS for hours, but it's really difficult with new people for me. Really having a hard time keeping conversations going.

Thankfully she knows I'm autistic and I think she's cutting me some extra slack for being awkward.



2) Date ideas? Normally I can come up with good ideas, but there are unusual limitations and I'm stuck for ideas...

Covid has all the normal stuff like concerts/live music/plays/fairs/etc/etc shut down... On top of that I'm recovering from a foot injury (can walk normal but can't go on long walks/hikes)... On top of that, she's totally blind, so "sight seeing" kinda stuff is pretty much out, unless there are big sensory draws.. (Ocean waves at the coast, giant trees to feel/hug, etc)


So far we've basically just gotten takeout and hung out at my place (mostly talking/listening to music/etc) ... Planning on a bonfire for Wednesday, maybe involve some wine and a hottub .. lol, but after this date I'm pretty low on ideas.

I did order a bunch of braille games (deck of cards, etc) that we can play, so that'll be fun hopefully, but I really want to have some better options/ideas.

Anyway, I'd love to hear your ideas/thoughts, thanks!

Maybe consider a picnic at a park or something as a date?

Thanks, that'd be a good idea but it's pretty tricky. I live in the Pacific Northwest so its getting pretty cold/windy/rainy... lol, which is another hurdle to figure out.

Sounds like you're doing great! Don't let your anxiety bring you down here. You don't need lots of date options/places to take her ... she just needs you, your presence and what you're already doing ... you could keep dating her mostly at your home and in and around the local area, and provided she has you for company, all should be well. Running out of things to say ... try not to pressure yourself into feeling you have to come up with new and different conversations to keep her interested. You've been amazing from the sound of it, have really come up with some great ways to make your time together enjoyable ... braille card games is good! My advice would be to to ease up on yourself and breathe ... hehe!

Other date ideas ...
*make a pizza together ... have her press the dough into shape and place her toppings of choice on top. Or enjoy preparing other meals together?

*Make some popcorn and watch a film together ... blind people can still get alot out of a film.

*If she's into music, create your own game of name that tune(playing only a few bars of a song or humming it?

*Read to her from a book ... something funny or something interesting ...

*Does she play an instrument? Write a funky song together! hehe

It's nice when you reach the point when you don't have to be "on" all the time with someone ... where you can just "be" while listening to music or watching a film, or just sitting and holding each other while listening to the sounds of the ocean or whatever ... all the best you two!

When you run out of things to talk about, ask if they would like a good back rub and massage. Nothing fresh, just a good back rub. Get one of those things that have those rolling wooden balls on it. You can listen to music while you give them a back rub. If you're a big guy and your date is on the smaller side, have her walk on your back. You can cook something together.

I can relate. I tend to talk and talk and talk and then reach a point where I run out of things to say and things peter out because I don't know what to do, as the only thing I do is repeat what I have said before.

It is not just with dating. Work collegues and others I tend to be the same. All out until I reach the point of not knowing what else to say and then I go quiet, which the other person assumes I have lost interest. I can relate.

Some NT women on the dating scene now have been complaining about guys not putting forth much effort now. The dates the guys plan are just staying home watching TV & ordering takeout or snacking on junk-food or TV dinners. Some women find the idea of cooking a meal together more appealing. It sounds like Elmo is putting forth a bit of effort into this & hopefully it will be realized & appreciated. I also like the other stuff you said Juliette.

I was born with a rare low vision disorder & after I graduated high-school I went to a training facility type place for half a year where people with serious vision problems to learn life skills & things. Some of the people were completely blind or close to it. Some were very independent & could do things that you would not expect them to be capable of or into. They just do things differently. It sounds like you noticed that about your girl Elmo. Your trying to think of things you can both do together & ways to adapt her to them. Your thinking outside the box some & I like it. You probably did this already but you could ask her what things she would like to do with you & you guys plan things together. It sounds like your doing well & you can relax some. I never really done the whole dating thing with my current girlfriend or either of my exes. I'm a quiet person & don't do a lot of talking with my current girlfriend nowadays. She talks a bit & I listen when she's upset or excited or whatever. Or we just hang out a lot together watching TV, playing vid games, or using our phones/tablets. We are not necessarily doing the same thing like focusing on a show or playing a game together but we are still hanging out together & doing things & talking about what we are doing. Maybe we're kinda like an old married couple that both still loves each other. We do our own stuff but together. We also friendly tease & joke with each other a lot too but we joke about ourselves as well.

I think that is really cool, dating a blind person. I think that would remove 99% of social anxiety for most men, for if the other person is blind, well then, eye contact is a non-issue. You do not even have to be looking at her, as long as your mouth is pointed in her direction when you talk. I would suggest looking at her though, to gauge how she is feeling.

I spent time with a blind person once during a gig. We chatted incessantly, and it got on my nerves honestly. I do not like non-stop chatter. I don't think anybody does.

I would suggest keeping conversation to a minimum. Since it is a date, perhaps you can hold hands at some point? Ask her first of course. That could replace talking.

Another idea is keep the conversation to specific stories and anecdotes about your life rather than small talk. Because let's face it, small talk gets old.

Does she have any of the same personal interests like you do?

Think like a blind person ... be creative , source a place that can print in Braille for you , write her a quiet little note
Spray it with your cologne or a light perfume smell or a essential oil .. take her to someplace that deals in aromatherapy .. type out notes in Braille were she might be surprised to find . Maybe a treasure map of some type in Braille leading her to a bouquet of flowers . Alittle creativity can go along ways .

These are really wonderful ideas!

Thanks for the ideas everyone....


lol, so far so good, on about date 8 or so

If ya got any other ideas, feel free to post them! Might need more than I expected! ... What an odd problem to have (for me )...

Thanks again!

Jacuzzi.

Dazzezz riddled.