Did I miss the opportunities for Valentines

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I wasn't realizing that todays is Valentines until today. So yesterday I had few incidents where I thought I was just lucky. But now looking back I am wondering: could I have gotten a date out of those? Here they are:

1. I was going to buy something at the library caffeteria, and a girl was sitting on the bench next to that caffeteria and she said "hi". I said "hi". Then I asked her if her name is so-and-so (that is the name of a certian girl that talked to me a couple of weeks ago). She said no, her name is, instead this. So then I asked her whether she knows me, she said she seen me around. I asked her what was her major. The major she told me she was had nothing to do with mine. At some point she apologized for being bad in eye contact. This, together with her mechanical way of speaking, made me suspect she is on ASD, but I didn't ask her (didn't want to be rude). Then she started making comments about the video game she was playing. I asked her what were the rules, she said there weren't any rules really. I then sat next to her and was watching the game she was playing. Then she asked me whether she offended me -- and immediately clarified that she has that fear of offending people (once again it made me suspect she is on ASD and once again I didn't ask anythng). Then I said she didn't offend me and I asked her if I offended her. She said no I didn't, she was just worried she offended me. I said she didn't. Then she said bye. So I left.

2. Half an hour or an hour after the incident number 1, I again decided to buy something in the caffeteria. When I was approaching caffeteria, some girl said "hi". But I was really thirsty so, instead of stopping to say hi, I just kept walking to get a drink. She made a comment "I said hi to him but he is like its okay". I am not sure whether she said it to the older lady sitting next to her or just to herself -- I mean her and that older lady weren't talking to each other otherwise. I regretted it a couple of seconds later, but I guess I felt too awkward to turn around and talk to her. After I bought my drink, she was no longer looking at me; she was looking rather closed off. But, to kill any regrets, I came and ask her if her name is such and such (naming the girl I talked to half an hour before). She said no -- and she didn't correct me to tell her actual name, just a simple no. So I left. Ever since then I am wondering whether she is in my class. Lets put it this way: "if" you tell me she is in my class, "then" I will say she is either a particular girl or one of two or three girls in that class (just based off of the fact that she is tall and she has dark hair). But the problem is that I don't know whether she is in my class or not. So thats why I have no idea. Now, today in class the girl whom I suspect to be her looked rather sad and she left the class by herself. Was she sad that she couldn't get her Valentines? But then again, it would only be relevant if she is in fact the girl that was sitting on that bench -- which I don't know.

3. So I am part of the Bible study group on campus. They meet once a week. But, due to having too much studies I weren't coming regularly. Well, at first, I was coming probably every other week or so but then when I didn't seem to socialize as much as I hoped I started coming once a month and eventually few times a year. In any case, at the time when I was coming once a month I had a fit and decided to block everyone in that Bible study group from my facebook. I continued coming at the rate I was coming prior to blocking them, as if nothing happened. And nobody was surprised about it at all. Well, yesterday -- after I was sad due to missing opportunities 1 and 2 -- I felt lonely so I decided to unblock them. So basically I unblocked three guys and one girl (only two of the guys are in that bible study by the way; but, since I was at it, I decided to unblock some other guy whom I knwo from elsewhere). So I sent to each of them the message that it had nothing to do with them I was just upset, that I unblock them, and that I would like to add them back. Well, I succeeded with all four of them: all four of them accepted my friend request. That is a bit unusual since my track record from the past is that around half the people block me right back and the other half of the people neither block me nor accept friend request either. But the other surprising thing is that the first one of those people who responded and accepted friend request was the girl: she did that within literally one or two minutes! One guy took few hours to do it, and two other guys waited till today to do it. The reason its surprising is that usually girls are the ones that are more prone to avoid me than the guys. So now I am wondering could it be that the reason that girl responded so fast is due to Valentines? That group has two Bible studies: one on Thursday and one on Friday. The Friday one used to be on Wednesday -- and thats why I was skipping both most of the time. A week ago I learned that the "Wednesday" Bible study was on Friday so I came -- since Friday I don't have to worry about upcoming homework and stuff. I still wasn't going to come on Thursday. But in any case, she asked me if I wanted to come -- and when I said I didn't due to homework -- she said she "understands". So the phrase "I understand" seem to allude to her having preferred if I came -- although its possible I am just reading into it. So could the Valentines be the reason? By the way -- after skipping the yesterday one -- I came today, although I came late. But she didn't seem to be any more social with me than usual, although she looked dressed up.

Anyway I am wondering if any of those were missed opportunities or if I am just reading into it.

Last edited by QFT on 14 Feb 2020, 6:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Hmmmm...

I’d say:
1. Possibly, although in my experience first interaction leads directly to date isn’t how it works: more of dating organically emerges out of early-stage friendship over the course of a month or two.

2. No. Sounds like she was just being friendly with no agenda.

3. Again, Nope. Those kinds of responses are common for most friendships (it’s part of the verbal mannerisms NTs use to keep people they know involved in shared interests and activities)

Girls tend to live a long time. They will be out and about tomorrow, next week, and the week after next. Now go make friends & brighten their days up a little bit!

I think they might have appreciated you NOT hitting on them, possibly. You never know. I wish you many happy & pleasant friendships.

I editted the message and put in bold the parts about 2 and 3 that make me feel like there was something.

The problem is that girls never talk to me throughout the year. So if they made an exception just because of Valentines, then it means I now have to wait one more year totally single for another such opportunity to arise.

Then talk to them. Last I checked, they don't bite.

As far as 1, she is in a different department, so I don't know how to find her.

As far as 2, like I said I am not sure if she is in my class or not. I guess I could ask a student in my class if it was her but its awkward -- particularly since I never talked to anyone in my class (which is a separate thing I am agonizing over).

As far as 3, I know exactly who she is, and I asked her over facebook regarding a comment she made connecting our bible studies to what she studies in class. Her answers are quite short. So I don't think she is that eager. I just have that lingering question what would have happened if I were to come to *yesterdays* bible studies rather than todays? I mean she said "I understand" when I told her I wasn't going to come due to my studies. I am wondering if it was a mistake.

That's a little more specific than I was thinking--I was just saying go out & be friendly; people will catch up with you if you catch up with them.

If you're looking for those 3 particular girls, well, good luck to you!

Sorry for delayed reply (time zones etc).
I’ve had a quick re-read and noted your addition of bold font: although I’m afraid it hasn’t changed my mind in either case.
The second girl muttering sounds to me like she found the manner of your reply dismissive in some way, rather than she had any particular interest in you beyond friendliness for the sake of politeness.
The second case: the girl being the first to respond is what I’d expect in such a situation, girls tending in my experience to be faster on social responses and such. And “I understand” is a stock response in that kind of situation: it’s function is to let you know you’ve not offended anyone by not attending, but you still really should have.
And the simplest explanation for her being ‘dolled up’ as the expression goes is she already had a date and was prepared due to lack of time between the study class and her romantic appointment.

I think you may be reading what you want to see into situations where it just isn’t there, unfortunately.
I’ve done that a lot: no shame in it in my view... but it’s probably making it harder for you to successfully interact with girls than it would be otherwise.
(Coming on strong and heavy early is a big turn-off in my experience)