Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Possible ways to help many autistic people find love?

Page 13 of 15 [ 235 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Rexi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."

25 Feb 2021, 5:06 pm

Join this in the adult section, watch my very tender treatment
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=394797


_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner. :heart: x :heart:

Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.


jimmy m
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,553
Location: Indiana

27 Mar 2021, 12:30 pm

dorkseid wrote:
Fnord and Kraftiekortie, you guys are from an older generation. Is it possible that that might have something to do with why you've been more successful than most of us younger men? My understanding is that society used to be more closely tightknit that it is nowadays, and it was common for families and communities to be actively engaged in helping people find partners. Now, we are often all on our own in trying to find someone. In fact, I've only had another person actively introduce to a potential partner once in my entire life.


Back a few months ago before this thread went off the rails, I interjected the idea that one solution to finding a mate might lie in approach that if the fish are not biting, it is time to try another pond.

I stumbled across a YouTube video that seems to discuss this approach, but from the opposite perspective. From the perspective of a fish in the other pond.


_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."


dorkseid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,354
Location: Tarkon Galtos

27 Mar 2021, 4:04 pm

jimmy m wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Fnord and Kraftiekortie, you guys are from an older generation. Is it possible that that might have something to do with why you've been more successful than most of us younger men? My understanding is that society used to be more closely tightknit that it is nowadays, and it was common for families and communities to be actively engaged in helping people find partners. Now, we are often all on our own in trying to find someone. In fact, I've only had another person actively introduce to a potential partner once in my entire life.


Back a few months ago before this thread went off the rails, I interjected the idea that one solution to finding a mate might lie in approach that if the fish are not biting, it is time to try another pond.

I stumbled across a YouTube video that seems to discuss this approach, but from the opposite perspective. From the perspective of a fish in the other pond.



You've brought this up many times. Thing is, I have given it a lot of consideration. I got my TESOL in 2014 with the intention of running off to Asia and never looking back. But I don't have the financial means to do that. Even in your video it is stated that decent paying jobs are nearly impossible to find.



jimmy m
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,553
Location: Indiana

27 Mar 2021, 5:35 pm

dorkseid wrote:
You've brought this up many times. Thing is, I have given it a lot of consideration. I got my TESOL in 2014 with the intention of running off to Asia and never looking back. But I don't have the financial means to do that. Even in your video it is stated that decent paying jobs are nearly impossible to find.


This approach will not fit every Aspie male. But there are some that will find this approach workable. There are several Aspies that have marketable skills, have become financially independent and earn a decent living. Yet they find it difficult to find a mate because they are shy and introverted.

Dorkseid, if you got your TESOL (Teaching English as a Second or Foreign Language) in 2014, what prevented you from going to someplace like Japan and teaching? The Japanese have almost instituted a system for this. They even provide housing. Some people use this approach as a springboard to go independent after a year or two and create their own teaching companies. If you are good at teaching English, the pay will be decent.


_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."


dorkseid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,354
Location: Tarkon Galtos

27 Mar 2021, 6:42 pm

jimmy m wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
You've brought this up many times. Thing is, I have given it a lot of consideration. I got my TESOL in 2014 with the intention of running off to Asia and never looking back. But I don't have the financial means to do that. Even in your video it is stated that decent paying jobs are nearly impossible to find.


This approach will not fit every Aspie male. But there are some that will find this approach workable. There are several Aspies that have marketable skills, have become financially independent and earn a decent living. Yet they find it difficult to find a mate because they are shy and introverted.

Dorkseid, if you got your TESOL (Teaching English as a Second or Foreign Language) in 2014, what prevented you from going to someplace like Japan and teaching? The Japanese have almost instituted a system for this. They even provide housing. Some people use this approach as a springboard to go independent after a year or two and create their own teaching companies. If you are good at teaching English, the pay will be decent.


I struggled to figure out how to get there. At one point I spent a ton of money to take an Amtrak to Austin and get a motel room to go to a group interview with Aeon. I was told that I was not selected for the next stage of interviews but was encouraged to keep trying. The problem is that there is no I could afford to keep traveling out of state every few months until I finally get a job offer. Additionally, even with housing provided, I was informed that I would need at least $2K for living expenses for the first month or two before I receive my first paycheck. And while air fair to Japan is often reimbursed after arrival, I would still need to pay for my ticket out of pocket initially.

I am not one of the aforementioned aspies who have been able to earn a decent living or become financially independent. During the times in my life when I have been fortunate to secure employment, I have never been able to get a job that paid more $20K or at best maybe $25K. I have always lived paycheck to paycheck, unable to put aside or save any significant amount of money.



jimmy m
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,553
Location: Indiana

27 Mar 2021, 7:50 pm

dorkseid wrote:
I am not one of the aforementioned aspies who have been able to earn a decent living or become financially independent. During the times in my life when I have been fortunate to secure employment, I have never been able to get a job that paid more $20K or at best maybe $25K. I have always lived paycheck to paycheck, unable to put aside or save any significant amount of money.


Then this approach may not work for you. A marriage is a bond, two people working as one for a common goal. Both need to contribute.

I looked up the Aeon website. Interviews and Positions It said "AEON offers teaching positions for every month of the year and regularly holds interview sessions at our offices in Los Angeles and New York City. Recruiting trips are also conducted throughout the year in many cities across the US, Canada, England and Australia." It seems like there are three steps, an on-line application, a group interview and then a personal interview (on the same day as the group interview - provided you pass the group interview.) They even provide an interview preparation guide.


_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."


dorkseid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,354
Location: Tarkon Galtos

27 Mar 2021, 8:14 pm

jimmy m wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I am not one of the aforementioned aspies who have been able to earn a decent living or become financially independent. During the times in my life when I have been fortunate to secure employment, I have never been able to get a job that paid more $20K or at best maybe $25K. I have always lived paycheck to paycheck, unable to put aside or save any significant amount of money.


Then this approach may not work for you. A marriage is a bond, two people working as one for a common goal. Both need to contribute.

I looked up the Aeon website. Interviews and Positions It said "AEON offers teaching positions for every month of the year and regularly holds interview sessions at our offices in Los Angeles and New York City. Recruiting trips are also conducted throughout the year in many cities across the US, Canada, England and Australia." It seems like there are three steps, an on-line application, a group interview and then a personal interview (on the same day as the group interview - provided you pass the group interview.) They even provide an interview preparation guide.


I was invited to the group interview, but was not selected to advance to the personal interview.

Their system favors people who live close to the cities they conduct their interviews in. Austin is the closest location to where I live, and I don't even live anywhere in Texas. It was an 8 hour trip by train to get there. If I lived around Austin I could easily go each time until I got hired. But because I have to travel to get there it costs too money and time and I can't afford it. It's just not feasible.

So yes, this approach doesn't work for me. I'm just doomed to be trapped in this dead end until I die.



Rexi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."

29 Mar 2021, 3:33 am

dorkseid wrote:
jimmy m wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I am not one of the aforementioned aspies who have been able to earn a decent living or become financially independent. During the times in my life when I have been fortunate to secure employment, I have never been able to get a job that paid more $20K or at best maybe $25K. I have always lived paycheck to paycheck, unable to put aside or save any significant amount of money.


Then this approach may not work for you. A marriage is a bond, two people working as one for a common goal. Both need to contribute.

I looked up the Aeon website. Interviews and Positions It said "AEON offers teaching positions for every month of the year and regularly holds interview sessions at our offices in Los Angeles and New York City. Recruiting trips are also conducted throughout the year in many cities across the US, Canada, England and Australia." It seems like there are three steps, an on-line application, a group interview and then a personal interview (on the same day as the group interview - provided you pass the group interview.) They even provide an interview preparation guide.


I was invited to the group interview, but was not selected to advance to the personal interview.

Their system favors people who live close to the cities they conduct their interviews in. Austin is the closest location to where I live, and I don't even live anywhere in Texas. It was an 8 hour trip by train to get there. If I lived around Austin I could easily go each time until I got hired. But because I have to travel to get there it costs too money and time and I can't afford it. It's just not feasible.

So yes, this approach doesn't work for me. I'm just doomed to be trapped in this dead end until I die.

I can't say I mind you being trapped in my arms until that dying day, your Squishiness. I'll take your interview on and on, like an endlessly repeating theatre scene. Akin to Romeo and Juliet we'll die in poverty and misunderstanding, day after day.


_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner. :heart: x :heart:

Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.


Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,811
Location: New York City (Queens)

01 Apr 2021, 2:51 am

Back to the original topic. I've added the following to my page:

Quote:
Online games with locale-based teams

Some of the techies among us could develop new kinds of online games that would also facilitate people getting together in real life.

There already exist online games that encourage players to organize into teams. An example (which my partner likes to play) is Forge of Empires, a combination of strategy game, war game, and city-building game, in which players are encouraged (though not required) to join or create teams known as "guilds."

What would be very helpful, in my opinion, would be if someone could create some team-oriented online games in which players are encouraged to organize into teams based on their actual physical locales. That way, members of a team could have the option of getting together in-person if they so choose.

Getting to know people in the context of an online game and then meeting in person would probably be a much easier and less awkward way for many of us to find both platonic friends and potential romantic partners than either dating apps or just meeting people at in-person social gatherings.

The games, as I envision them, would be marketed to online gamers in general, not just autistic people. But they would be designed by teams of autistic programmers, with the social needs and difficulties of autistic people in mind.

Ideally the games would be of genres that appeal to roughly equal numbers of men and women.


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

01 Apr 2021, 3:32 am

I admire your persistence, even though I know it will be all in vain.



Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,811
Location: New York City (Queens)

01 Apr 2021, 6:02 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I admire your persistence, even though I know it will be all in vain.

Why do you "know" it will all be in vain?

Don't forget, I have a history of involvement in social movements that have accomplished what IMO are much more difficult things. For example, back in the late 1970's, I would never have dared to hope that same-sex marriage would become legal within my lifetime!


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)


jimmy m
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,553
Location: Indiana

01 Apr 2021, 7:24 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
Online games with locale-based teams

Some of the techies among us could develop new kinds of online games that would also facilitate people getting together in real life.


Actually something like this has existed for several decades. It is called D&D [Dungeons and Dragons]. A small group of individuals gather together to play the game. Sometimes these are held in the back room of Game Stores. Or at peoples homes or at other locations. And the games last all day long.


_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."


Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,811
Location: New York City (Queens)

01 Apr 2021, 11:24 am

jimmy m wrote:
Actually something like this has existed for several decades. It is called D&D [Dungeons and Dragons]. A small group of individuals gather together to play the game. Sometimes these are held in the back room of Game Stores. Or at peoples homes or at other locations. And the games last all day long.

Alas, probably most game stores with backrooms have been put out of business by Amazon by now. And get-togethers at people's homes would generally happen only among people who already know each other.

Nevertheless, it is still possible to find D&D game groups on Meetup.com. (I checked just now.)

Yet I think many of us would probably feel more comfortable and less awkward getting to know people online first, before meeting in-person. My idea of an online game that encourages people to organize into teams based on physical locale would facilitate that -- especially if someone were also to invent a table-top role-playing game that was somehow related to the online game.


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)


Rexi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."

01 Apr 2021, 1:52 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
jimmy m wrote:
Actually something like this has existed for several decades. It is called D&D [Dungeons and Dragons]. A small group of individuals gather together to play the game. Sometimes these are held in the back room of Game Stores. Or at peoples homes or at other locations. And the games last all day long.

Alas, probably most game stores with backrooms have been put out of business by Amazon by now. And get-togethers at people's homes would generally happen only among people who already know each other.

Nevertheless, it is still possible to find D&D game groups on Meetup.com. (I checked just now.)

Yet I think many of us would probably feel more comfortable and less awkward getting to know people online first, before meeting in-person. My idea of an online game that encourages people to organize into teams based on physical locale would facilitate that -- especially if someone were also to invent a table-top role-playing game that was somehow related to the online game.

Gaming and socializing is perfect but it has to be maybe multiple games in one or multiple tasks in one game eg. dressup for dressup fans, grinding for repetitive freaks like me who prefer to focus on conversation, so people may get into one of them. Also patterned on poor ppls countries and hardware which lacks video graphs and limits the internet paid speed because it can only reach 100mb so lag may be a thing and ruin things. Also pvp may be intimidating and too fast for me & beginners or old folks who are trying to catch up with tech or lvl 3 autistics. On the other hand some games are useful for iq improvement and other brain parts and visual improvements.


_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner. :heart: x :heart:

Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.


r00tb33r
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 May 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,778

01 Apr 2021, 1:57 pm

Rexi wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
jimmy m wrote:
Actually something like this has existed for several decades. It is called D&D [Dungeons and Dragons]. A small group of individuals gather together to play the game. Sometimes these are held in the back room of Game Stores. Or at peoples homes or at other locations. And the games last all day long.

Alas, probably most game stores with backrooms have been put out of business by Amazon by now. And get-togethers at people's homes would generally happen only among people who already know each other.

Nevertheless, it is still possible to find D&D game groups on Meetup.com. (I checked just now.)

Yet I think many of us would probably feel more comfortable and less awkward getting to know people online first, before meeting in-person. My idea of an online game that encourages people to organize into teams based on physical locale would facilitate that -- especially if someone were also to invent a table-top role-playing game that was somehow related to the online game.

Gaming and socializing is perfect but it has to be maybe multiple games in one or multiple tasks in one game eg. dressup for dressup fans, grinding for repetitive freaks like me who prefer to focus on conversation, so people may get into one of them. Also patterned on poor ppls countries and hardware which lacks video graphs and limits the internet paid speed because it can only reach 100mb so lag may be a thing and ruin things. Also pvp may be intimidating and too fast for me & beginners or old folks who are trying to catch up with tech or lvl 3 autistics. On the other hand some games are useful for iq improvement and other brain parts and visual improvements.

Grinding is the reason I avoided MMORPGs, too much grinding to make a number go up. Non-online games I can just memory-hack to change the number. I value immersion and story in games.


_________________
Enjoy the silence.


Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,224
Location: Outter Quadrant

01 Apr 2021, 2:18 pm

Likes the concept of a Sadie Hawkins event


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are