Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 May 2020, 7:46 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am probably living in the poorest country on this forum.


I grew up in the system with violence extreme poverty - the kind where you go hungry - in a first world country. It took me a while to adjust to people who own expensive electronics and other luxuries describing themselves as "very poor". Times changed I guess.


That doesn't make my statement any less true.



BenderRodriguez
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20 May 2020, 8:02 am

^
It doesn't - pointing out that "poverty" is relative.


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SecretOpossumCabal
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20 May 2020, 10:53 am

sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I bet, if you worked as a gun salesman, that you could work 40 hours a week. You know how to sell your guns!

Working in a retail place does not provide one with motivation.

No I can’t handle the stress of full time work. And selling guns is extra stressful. Mess up and you answer to the federal government, you have to tell people no and they scream at you and threaten you.

I’m defective subhuman. There’s no future for me. I’m unlovable

Being alone provides me no motivation to do anything
Why shower, why bother trying to lose weight, why bother cutting my hair, why bother washing my clothes m cleaning my room. Etc. no reason to do any of it.


Have you ever considered that God's hand came upon you so that you might know what humans are? You gain a perspective in your lowness that can't be found elsewhere. Now you see what humans actually are: greedy animals. God gives this knowledge and insight to the small because he's trying to preserve them for a better world, for:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth. -- Matthew 5:3-5


and "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."-- Matthew 23:12

God has to chasten his children that our lives might not be front-loaded and that we might not be seduced by this world. Therefor we have to suffer and made small so that we might understand the value of eternity and the perfect world upon the shoulder of God. Thus, this is the wisdom that God is trying to give to you and why it's said that, "For with much wisdom comes much sorrow, and as knowledge grows, grief increases." -- Ecclesiastes 1:18; Therefor, your lowness is actually your highness. For:

"Not only that, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us." -- Romans 5:3-5



The Protagonist in the Book of Ecclesiastes also shares your language. He often declares everything is meaningless in that book, because as his wisdom increased he saw that human beings were living meaningless lives and so why bother doing anything?

"Therefore I hated life; because the work that is wrought under the sun is grievous unto me: for all is vanity and vexation of spirit." Ecclesiastes 2:17

You should reflect on Ecclesiastes over and over again because that book will lead you to a place of greater meaning. The Protagonist in that book constantly flirts with nihilism but he finds the exit to escape from that existential trap.

The Book of Ecclesiastes on Youtube. It's not long.



ProfessorJohn
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20 May 2020, 11:17 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am probably live in the poorest country on this forum.


I grew up in the system with violence extreme poverty - the kind where you go hungry - in a first world country. It took me a while to adjust to people who own expensive electronics and other luxuries describing themselves as "very poor". Times changed I guess.


Where did you grow up?



magz
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20 May 2020, 1:22 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am probably living in the poorest country on this forum.


I grew up in the system with violence extreme poverty - the kind where you go hungry - in a first world country. It took me a while to adjust to people who own expensive electronics and other luxuries describing themselves as "very poor". Times changed I guess.

That doesn't make my statement any less true.

If your country is really poor, then you personally make quite a good money there, based on what you once confessed on WP.
The money you mentioned then would make you a comfortable life with a family in my city.


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funeralxempire
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20 May 2020, 1:30 pm

sly279 wrote:
I don’t get why. I don’t get why other nt women date aspie me but never me. They come here crushing on apsie men who don’t want to date them, but never me.
I’m just not good enough. If only I was born non defective and could work a real job.


Can you at least admit that there's people out there who might consider you if you'd pick yourself off of the floor, dry your eyes and open them.

They might not live close enough to be immediately available, they might currently be involved and they're certainly strangers at the moment, they might not be common but they do exist. Unfortunately, even if you were Chad Chaddington, if this was the mindstate you had at the time the interaction occurred, even if you were Chad you'd feel forever alone because even Chad can't find someone willing to get involved with someone who's been made toxic by wallowing in their own self-pity for years on end.

Fixing that aspect is on you and while I can't promise success, I can promise a better chance of success than you currently have.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 May 2020, 1:51 pm

magz wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am probably living in the poorest country on this forum.


I grew up in the system with violence extreme poverty - the kind where you go hungry - in a first world country. It took me a while to adjust to people who own expensive electronics and other luxuries describing themselves as "very poor". Times changed I guess.

That doesn't make my statement any less true.

If your country is really poor, then you personally make quite a good money there, based on what you once confessed on WP.
The money you mentioned then would make you a comfortable life with a family in my city.



Bahahaha

Not anymore.

My pay didn’t change, but I can barely access it:

and prices of everything quadrupled.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 20 May 2020, 1:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.

dw.731
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20 May 2020, 1:51 pm

So much this!

funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I don’t get why. I don’t get why other nt women date aspie me but never me. They come here crushing on apsie men who don’t want to date them, but never me.
I’m just not good enough. If only I was born non defective and could work a real job.


Can you at least admit that there's people out there who might consider you if you'd pick yourself off of the floor, dry your eyes and open them.

They might not live close enough to be immediately available, they might currently be involved and they're certainly strangers at the moment, they might not be common but they do exist. Unfortunately, even if you were Chad Chaddington, if this was the mindstate you had at the time the interaction occurred, even if you were Chad you'd feel forever alone because even Chad can't find someone willing to get involved with someone who's been made toxic by wallowing in their own self-pity for years on end.

Fixing that aspect is on you and while I can't promise success, I can promise a better chance of success than you currently have.



magz
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20 May 2020, 2:37 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Looks like things getting ripe for something big...
I mean, all I can think of now is Poland in the 1980s or pre-Maidan Ukraine.


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sly279
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20 May 2020, 6:57 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I don’t get why. I don’t get why other nt women date aspie me but never me. They come here crushing on apsie men who don’t want to date them, but never me.
I’m just not good enough. If only I was born non defective and could work a real job.


Can you at least admit that there's people out there who might consider you if you'd pick yourself off of the floor, dry your eyes and open them.

They might not live close enough to be immediately available, they might currently be involved and they're certainly strangers at the moment, they might not be common but they do exist. Unfortunately, even if you were Chad Chaddington, if this was the mindstate you had at the time the interaction occurred, even if you were Chad you'd feel forever alone because even Chad can't find someone willing to get involved with someone who's been made toxic by wallowing in their own self-pity for years on end.

Fixing that aspect is on you and while I can't promise success, I can promise a better chance of success than you currently have.


There’s nothing I can fix that will help.
I can’t and won’t ever work a real job or even full time.
I’m not toxic, society is toxic.



cyberdad
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20 May 2020, 7:22 pm

sly279 wrote:
Also for me and other aspie forever lone men porn is the closest thing to female companionship we’ll ever get. :cry:


I think somebody told me on this forum (funeral empire?) not to conflate dick with companionship.

Ok my advice is coming from an NT brain and its sometimes flawed by the error of approximations and not absolutes so I'll try again.

If you live in a part of the US where there's limited options in meeting women face to face then make use of online forums. The females online here on WP are friendly and I think you should just start with making friends first. Dick comes later.

On another matter marriage/long term relationships doesn't mean endless nights of sex. Sex is great at first but then couples start to cool off. I've been married for 18 yrs and the last 14 of those I've been living like a monk.

So don't let sex be the overarching concern (its largely over-rated), be friends first and if sex happens its a bonus.



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20 May 2020, 8:22 pm

In general, this is what I see.

a. Men are expected to take the lead in a relationship.

b. Men are expected to be the providers.

c. Men are expected to be the protectors.

d. Men are expected to be in good health (excellent hygiene included)

Can you as an aspergers person do any of these things or do you even want to do any of these things? Unless we have the summer of love back and the whole hippie thing again with Make Love and Not War then it would not be a good idea to go into a relationship anyway.

Even (a number of) the more headstrong and dominant women want men to play the more dominant role and do these four things.

Let me ask you men this? What price are you all willing to pay to get with a woman or get into a relationship with her especially to the more submissive men on here? Are you willing to pretend to be something you are not? If you are willing to be a caricature of your true self? And, what if by doing this you sell a part of your soul? And, for what? A relationship in which most over 50% of marriages end in divorce? Truth is none of us can be anything we are not. A cat can't be a dog. Pretending only works for so long until your true self shows.

I realized this back in college and realized playing this sort of game and trying to get into a relationship was futile. I simply quit focusing on it and went to college. I concentrated on my studies. I played my games. I did the things that benefited me and made me happy. I improved my hygiene to improve my health not to impress others or get into a relationship.

Lo and behold, I met someone and married her. We're still married to this day.

For somethings if you seek then you shall find.

But for others, sometimes if you don't seek you shall find.

Sometimes the only way to win is not to play.



Fnord
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20 May 2020, 8:32 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:
What price are you all willing to pay to get with a woman or get into a relationship with her especially to the more submissive men on here?
I studied hard, learned useful skills and talents, worked hard, stayed fit and healthy, and focused on becoming a better person.
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Are you willing to pretend to be something you are not?
Absolutely not; but that does not mean I didn't try to become a better person.
cubedemon6073 wrote:
If you are willing to be a caricature of your true self?
Why do that when you can just become a better person?
cubedemon6073 wrote:
And, what if by doing this you sell a part of your soul?  And, for what?  A relationship in which most over 50% of marriages end in divorce?
Becoming a better person is not the same as selling your soul.  Besides, finding that one woman who makes my life worth living has made all of the difference to me!

:D Have a nice day!


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sly279
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20 May 2020, 8:47 pm

cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Also for me and other aspie forever lone men porn is the closest thing to female companionship we’ll ever get. :cry:


I think somebody told me on this forum (funeral empire?) not to conflate dick with companionship.

Ok my advice is coming from an NT brain and its sometimes flawed by the error of approximations and not absolutes so I'll try again.

If you live in a part of the US where there's limited options in meeting women face to face then make use of online forums. The females online here on WP are friendly and I think you should just start with making friends first. Dick comes later.

On another matter marriage/long term relationships doesn't mean endless nights of sex. Sex is great at first but then couples start to cool off. I've been married for 18 yrs and the last 14 of those I've been living like a monk.

So don't let sex be the overarching concern (its largely over-rated), be friends first and if sex happens its a bonus.


I dont know if I’d have sex if I was in a relationship. So I’m not just after sex.



cyberdad
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20 May 2020, 8:54 pm

sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Also for me and other aspie forever lone men porn is the closest thing to female companionship we’ll ever get. :cry:


I think somebody told me on this forum (funeral empire?) not to conflate dick with companionship.

Ok my advice is coming from an NT brain and its sometimes flawed by the error of approximations and not absolutes so I'll try again.

If you live in a part of the US where there's limited options in meeting women face to face then make use of online forums. The females online here on WP are friendly and I think you should just start with making friends first. Dick comes later.

On another matter marriage/long term relationships doesn't mean endless nights of sex. Sex is great at first but then couples start to cool off. I've been married for 18 yrs and the last 14 of those I've been living like a monk.

So don't let sex be the overarching concern (its largely over-rated), be friends first and if sex happens its a bonus.


I dont know if I’d have sex if I was in a relationship. So I’m not just after sex.


So you don't masturbate to porn?



sly279
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20 May 2020, 9:12 pm

cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Also for me and other aspie forever lone men porn is the closest thing to female companionship we’ll ever get. :cry:


I think somebody told me on this forum (funeral empire?) not to conflate dick with companionship.

Ok my advice is coming from an NT brain and its sometimes flawed by the error of approximations and not absolutes so I'll try again.

If you live in a part of the US where there's limited options in meeting women face to face then make use of online forums. The females online here on WP are friendly and I think you should just start with making friends first. Dick comes later.

On another matter marriage/long term relationships doesn't mean endless nights of sex. Sex is great at first but then couples start to cool off. I've been married for 18 yrs and the last 14 of those I've been living like a monk.

So don't let sex be the overarching concern (its largely over-rated), be friends first and if sex happens its a bonus.


I dont know if I’d have sex if I was in a relationship. So I’m not just after sex.


So you don't masturbate to porn?


That’s different then actual sex.