Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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Pepe
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25 May 2020, 8:14 am

hurtloam wrote:
Yes, you're wrong. You have no idea what it's like to be a woman and having society tell you to be a way that you can't be.

You don't have Aunts asking, "have you found a boyfriend YET?" In your 30s like you're failling to meet a goal in normal human life.

You don't have older women telling you that, "you're just too independent", or "if you are a loving person you will draw love to you".


I wouldn't base my worth on a fracked up NT social value system.
They are less evolved than us, in some/many ways.
And they are the problem, not us, as Tony Attwood would say. :wink:

Look on the bright side.
We all end up in the same place, eventually, no matter how well people fit in an arbitrary NT social structure. :mrgreen:


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The_Face_of_Boo
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25 May 2020, 9:52 am

Height is a dealbreaker for many women, even more than any aspie trait.

Image



Teach51
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25 May 2020, 10:36 am

I know short men, tall men thin and fat all of whom are in a relationship. A guy I nearly married who is of Egyptian Jewish descent is short, I fell for his caring personality and intelligence during the Yom Kippur war. I have also loved tall guys. The guy I ultimately married is short (albeit an a$$hole) so it has never been an issue with me. I have had students who have amazing success with women, who are very short. It's all about character. I don't know why some of you think all women are shallow bimbos. The problem lies in dating apps where everything is a meat market or a shopping catalogue, it's not your fault, it's the gross culture we have to live in.


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Last edited by Teach51 on 25 May 2020, 10:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Teach51
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25 May 2020, 10:40 am

I am interested to know how many of you Aspie guys who are married to NT women have wives who are strong-minded caretakers, nurses, teachers, social workers? How many to intellectual, scientific types?


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25 May 2020, 11:24 am

Teach51 wrote:
I am interested to know how many of you Aspie guys who are married to NT women have wives who are strong-minded caretakers, nurses, teachers, social workers? How many to intellectual, scientific types?
Does being married to a pastor count?


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Teach51
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25 May 2020, 11:48 am

Fnord wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
I am interested to know how many of you Aspie guys who are married to NT women have wives who are strong-minded caretakers, nurses, teachers, social workers? How many to intellectual, scientific types?
Does being married to a pastor count?


Everything counts! I think that she qualifies as a strong-minded "caretaking" type of woman, no? How wonderful!


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25 May 2020, 12:44 pm

Teach51 wrote:
I am interested to know how many of you Aspie guys who are married to NT women have wives who are strong-minded caretakers, nurses, teachers, social workers? How many to intellectual, scientific types?

Mrs K is a pastors daughter, and a self-employed tradeswoman.
She worked in a dementia ward years ago, but that was before I met her.
I’m pretty sure she has the intelligence to have been a scientist (biology most likely), but was never encouraged academically as a child: something she now regrets not rebelling against.



Teach51
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25 May 2020, 1:23 pm

So....Krafties' wife is a nurse, I am a nurse and a teacher and I like aspie men also. So not all women dislike aspies. Spiritual, empathetic and good women love aspies.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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25 May 2020, 2:07 pm

My two last exes were one is nurse and the other a massage therapist. Most of my dates were: nurses, accountants, teachers and civil/architect engineers..etc

I don't think it means anything though, these are simply common occupations among women.



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25 May 2020, 2:13 pm

I've been fighting with myself as to whether to say anything in this thread, I think the OP made a bit of a mistake in self-extrapolating this widely and I think anyone who'd say that he could have it all (or that anyone could) if he just 'got it together' would be making an equal and opposite mistake.

Lets just say in my life experience I've seen such a wide divergence in how people get treated for non-commonsensical reasons that I don't think one person's anecdote would undo another's. That leaves me in a quandary for what do with or for people who constantly complain that they can't find a partner. My advice would probably be a bit too cold - ie. I'd be inclined to tell them what I see to be the truth, ie. that much like physics, chemistry and medicine don't care much about Judao-Christian, Greek, or secular humanist values this is an example of where human beings fall into far more pragmatic realities, much more akin to being as irresistible as physics, and where the veneer of our humanity voids out by necessity. It's an event horizon that cultural values at best penetrate by accident or convenience and get deflected back out the moment they're found to be inconvenient.

I think part of why many people have trouble speaking openly about it from that perspective is that, like ideas of absolute determinism, the idea that our identities are thin veneers on top of something else that may have very different priorities which we can't do a whole lot about is a scary thought. I do think there's some benefit to at least integrating with that side of one's self in that you can get a bit better of a moral negotiation hashed out (in Freudian terms humanizing the unconscious) and that's perhaps the silver-lining of being opened to see it that way and work from that assumption.


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25 May 2020, 2:55 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My two last exes were one is nurse and the other a massage therapist. Most of my dates were: nurses, accountants, teachers and civil/architect engineers..etc

I don't think it means anything though, these are simply common occupations among women.


I asked the question because certain professions require certain qualities, good nurses must observe and empathize and be able to nurture, good teachers also must seek out the positive and emphasize it, find ways to empower their students, these professions require a capacity for assessing and analyzing strengths and weaknesses, cognitive processes, see the bigger picture, find a common communication channel and help others to communicate their needs. I gained insight into neurodiversity and the often positive aspects of certain diversities and conditions in both my professions. I am not explaining myself very well I feel. I have encountered incredible courage and tenacity, honesty and creativity in both patients and students and I grew close to them and came to admire them. When I have an intimate working relationship with people on the spectrum I am humbled by the purity of heart, intelligence, loyalty and honesty, Now I will give my NT ramblings a rest for today. I sometimes feel really deficient here with my circular thinking.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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25 May 2020, 3:07 pm

^ That makes sense.



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 May 2020, 4:30 pm

magz wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am probably living in the poorest country on this forum.


I grew up in the system with violence extreme poverty - the kind where you go hungry - in a first world country. It took me a while to adjust to people who own expensive electronics and other luxuries describing themselves as "very poor". Times changed I guess.

That doesn't make my statement any less true.

If your country is really poor, then you personally make quite a good money there, based on what you once confessed on WP.
The money you mentioned then would make you a comfortable life with a family in my city.


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Source: TheEconomist

The thing is, if your country is extremely poor and in extreme financially crisis, no matter how much you make money (within reason), this money will be evaporated.



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25 May 2020, 5:20 pm

Teach51 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My two last exes were one is nurse and the other a massage therapist. Most of my dates were: nurses, accountants, teachers and civil/architect engineers..etc

I don't think it means anything though, these are simply common occupations among women.


I asked the question because certain professions require certain qualities, good nurses must observe and empathize and be able to nurture, good teachers also must seek out the positive and emphasize it, find ways to empower their students, these professions require a capacity for assessing and analyzing strengths and weaknesses, cognitive processes, see the bigger picture, find a common communication channel and help others to communicate their needs. I gained insight into neurodiversity and the often positive aspects of certain diversities and conditions in both my professions. I am not explaining myself very well I feel. I have encountered incredible courage and tenacity, honesty and creativity in both patients and students and I grew close to them and came to admire them. When I have an intimate working relationship with people on the spectrum I am humbled by the purity of heart, intelligence, loyalty and honesty, Now I will give my NT ramblings a rest for today. I sometimes feel really deficient here with my circular thinking.

Most the women on dating sites are nurses and teachers and they’ve not wanted anything to do with me. Never felt empathy from any of them.



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26 May 2020, 1:10 am

sly279 wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My two last exes were one is nurse and the other a massage therapist. Most of my dates were: nurses, accountants, teachers and civil/architect engineers..etc

I don't think it means anything though, these are simply common occupations among women.


I asked the question because certain professions require certain qualities, good nurses must observe and empathize and be able to nurture, good teachers also must seek out the positive and emphasize it, find ways to empower their students, these professions require a capacity for assessing and analyzing strengths and weaknesses, cognitive processes, see the bigger picture, find a common communication channel and help others to communicate their needs. I gained insight into neurodiversity and the often positive aspects of certain diversities and conditions in both my professions. I am not explaining myself very well I feel. I have encountered incredible courage and tenacity, honesty and creativity in both patients and students and I grew close to them and came to admire them. When I have an intimate working relationship with people on the spectrum I am humbled by the purity of heart, intelligence, loyalty and honesty, Now I will give my NT ramblings a rest for today. I sometimes feel really deficient here with my circular thinking.

Most the women on dating sites are nurses and teachers and they’ve not wanted anything to do with me. Never felt empathy from any of them.


Is it possible that it is difficult for you to identify empathy Sly?
Sometimes it's challenging for aspies to project their "niceness" in a conversation. Adopting socially acceptable templates in conversation might be useful. For example: "Your job sounds really interesting". or "You have a very pretty smile." There needs to be the initial trigger that sparks a womans' interest to delve deeper. Empathy develops during a deeper interaction. A spark of interest that makes you stand apart from other men must come first. Humour, special interest, just taking an interest in her basically.


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Pepe
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26 May 2020, 1:13 am

Teach51 wrote:
I know short men, tall men thin and fat all of whom are in a relationship. A guy I nearly married who is of Egyptian Jewish descent is short, I fell for his caring personality and intelligence during the Yom Kippur war. I have also loved tall guys. The guy I ultimately married is short (albeit an a$$hole) so it has never been an issue with me. I have had students who have amazing success with women, who are very short. It's all about character. I don't know why some of you think all women are shallow bimbos. The problem lies in dating apps where everything is a meat market or a shopping catalogue, it's not your fault, it's the gross culture we have to live in.


You mean the guys that have a shallow/binary view on life? :scratch: :wink:


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