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LunaticCentruroides
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01 Jul 2020, 7:22 pm

Chain wrote:
As a radical egalitarian I find that article frightening. To each their own, I suppose. I actually do not have an internal sense of my gender and pretty much see people as people.

That being said, there is a place for safe power differential role play. I used to be in the local sex positive community and I knew many dom sub couples (a mix of genders for each role). What I noticed is that healthy couples are equal no matter what their kink.

Domineering people have no business being dom and insecure people have no business being sub. The best doms are people who have deep compassion for their partner. The best subs are powerful by their own right. Sounds very counter-intuitive but I feel anything else is abusive.

As far as a cultural/religious/sexual based submission of women goes... that is something that should be fought against!

Oh... and the redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach. My wife is asexual and she often has fears that she is not meeting "my needs". Why would I ever want have sex with someone who does not want to have it with me? I think the submissive wife stereotype feeds in to these insecurities for her. I certainly wont be sharing that article with her, lol.

Interesting thread!


I agree with you on every word.

Especially "The redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach."
That one triggers me on a level you can't even imagine.



cyberdad
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01 Jul 2020, 7:38 pm

Chain wrote:
Oh... and the redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach. My wife is asexual and she often has fears that she is not meeting "my needs". Why would I ever want have sex with someone who does not want to have it with me? I think the submissive wife stereotype feeds in to these insecurities for her.


Human social groups tend to form hierarchies based on the ability of some dominating others based on some characteristic e,g. strength, skills, social importance etc. it's built into our DNA.

Over tens of thousands of years women were subservient but they played an important (one could argue critical) role in maintaining society. In our modern era large masses of men are for the first time capable of the cognitive leap to understand that women are equal in all areas of life. However we have to be patient. Our interpersonal interactions are a beacon to provide a role model for those choosing to not grow or develop as human beings.



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01 Jul 2020, 9:04 pm

LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Chain wrote:
As a radical egalitarian I find that article frightening. To each their own, I suppose. I actually do not have an internal sense of my gender and pretty much see people as people.

That being said, there is a place for safe power differential role play. I used to be in the local sex positive community and I knew many dom sub couples (a mix of genders for each role). What I noticed is that healthy couples are equal no matter what their kink.

Domineering people have no business being dom and insecure people have no business being sub. The best doms are people who have deep compassion for their partner. The best subs are powerful by their own right. Sounds very counter-intuitive but I feel anything else is abusive.

As far as a cultural/religious/sexual based submission of women goes... that is something that should be fought against!

Oh... and the redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach. My wife is asexual and she often has fears that she is not meeting "my needs". Why would I ever want have sex with someone who does not want to have it with me? I think the submissive wife stereotype feeds in to these insecurities for her. I certainly wont be sharing that article with her, lol.

Interesting thread!


I agree with you on every word.

Especially "The redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach."
That one triggers me on a level you can't even imagine.


I agree.
That is a rather outdated/unenlightened way of thinking.
I'd be surprised if there is a significant number of people in western societies who think that way.



LunaticCentruroides
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01 Jul 2020, 9:16 pm

Pepe wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Chain wrote:
As a radical egalitarian I find that article frightening. To each their own, I suppose. I actually do not have an internal sense of my gender and pretty much see people as people.

That being said, there is a place for safe power differential role play. I used to be in the local sex positive community and I knew many dom sub couples (a mix of genders for each role). What I noticed is that healthy couples are equal no matter what their kink.

Domineering people have no business being dom and insecure people have no business being sub. The best doms are people who have deep compassion for their partner. The best subs are powerful by their own right. Sounds very counter-intuitive but I feel anything else is abusive.

As far as a cultural/religious/sexual based submission of women goes... that is something that should be fought against!

Oh... and the redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach. My wife is asexual and she often has fears that she is not meeting "my needs". Why would I ever want have sex with someone who does not want to have it with me? I think the submissive wife stereotype feeds in to these insecurities for her. I certainly wont be sharing that article with her, lol.

Interesting thread!


I agree with you on every word.

Especially "The redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach."
That one triggers me on a level you can't even imagine.


I agree.
That is a rather outdated/unenlightened way of thinking.
I'd be surprised if there is a significant number of people in western societies who think that way.



Unfortunately, I observe parts of the society doing it unconsciously. Even in my age-group.



Pepe
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01 Jul 2020, 9:38 pm

LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Pepe wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Chain wrote:
As a radical egalitarian I find that article frightening. To each their own, I suppose. I actually do not have an internal sense of my gender and pretty much see people as people.

That being said, there is a place for safe power differential role play. I used to be in the local sex positive community and I knew many dom sub couples (a mix of genders for each role). What I noticed is that healthy couples are equal no matter what their kink.

Domineering people have no business being dom and insecure people have no business being sub. The best doms are people who have deep compassion for their partner. The best subs are powerful by their own right. Sounds very counter-intuitive but I feel anything else is abusive.

As far as a cultural/religious/sexual based submission of women goes... that is something that should be fought against!

Oh... and the redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach. My wife is asexual and she often has fears that she is not meeting "my needs". Why would I ever want have sex with someone who does not want to have it with me? I think the submissive wife stereotype feeds in to these insecurities for her. I certainly wont be sharing that article with her, lol.

Interesting thread!


I agree with you on every word.

Especially "The redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach."
That one triggers me on a level you can't even imagine.


I agree.
That is a rather outdated/unenlightened way of thinking.
I'd be surprised if there is a significant number of people in western societies who think that way.



Unfortunately, I observe parts of the society doing it unconsciously. Even in my age-group.


<comfort>
I am sorry to hear that.



quite an extreme
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02 Jul 2020, 12:58 am

cyberdad wrote:
Human social groups tend to form hierarchies based on the ability of some dominating others based on some characteristic e,g. strength, skills, social importance etc. it's built into our DNA.

People are very different.

cyberdad wrote:
Over tens of thousands of years women were subservient but they played an important (one could argue critical) role in maintaining society.

They are at least the same if not even a lot more responsible how the common societies are. You shouldn't forget that they are the ones who teach their children how to be what counts also in islamic countries or other societies you may dislike to relate to.

cyberdad wrote:
In our modern era large masses of men are for the first time capable of the cognitive leap to understand that women are equal in all areas of life.

That's BS. Women aren't as well as men aren't and the people who assume that or demand that are the most likely ones who are disliked by the opposite and their own gender just because not matching your gender role makes you kind of unattractive. There are reasons why people are how they are but it's fine and you can't ignore biology. There are areas that are predominated by women and others by man. Some of them because of their gender specific strengths and some just because of gender specific preferences. Society and people disallow you to treat women and man the same and people don't do it. You'll find always differences even here where all people have the same rights and abilities.


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Last edited by quite an extreme on 02 Jul 2020, 1:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

cyberdad
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02 Jul 2020, 1:40 am

quite an extreme wrote:
That's BS. Women aren't as well as men aren't and the people who assume that or demand that are the most likely ones who are disliked by the opposite and their own gender just because not matching your gender role makes you kind of unattractive. There are reasons why people are how they are but it's fine and you can't ignore biology. There are areas that are predominated by women and others by man. Some of them because of their gender specific strengths and some just because of gender specific preferences. Society and people disallow you nearly to treat women and man the same and people don't do it. You'll find always differences even here where all people have the same rights and abilities.


No you can't ignore biology and but the army once said its impossible for women to fight on the frontlines of wars. Now that's no longer true.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/cult ... s-feature/



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02 Jul 2020, 3:04 am

.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2020, 9:18 am

I don’t particularly like submissive women.....but I would hate being in a submissive position in a relationship even more.



Chain
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02 Jul 2020, 10:28 am

LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Especially "The redonkulous idea that women are there to provide men with sex makes me sick to my stomach."
That one triggers me on a level you can't even imagine.


Oh, I can imagine. It triggers me as well. I get physically sick when I hear the "nice guy" schtick... at least until the next distraction comes.


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I may use terms that are part of my theory of "Functional Cognitive Typology". Diagnosis is always a mixed bag but generally they map to the cognitive type when in dysfunction:
C = Cultural (NT), EC = Extra-Cultural (ASD)
U = understanding ~ ADD/ADHD
A = acceptance ~ baseline, normal
T = trust ~ possible schizotypal disorder
R = respect ~ NPD
C = cerebral (adrenaline averse), S = somatic (adrenaline seeking)

I am ECUC/S (cusp cerebral/somatic)


Chain
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02 Jul 2020, 10:50 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don’t particularly like submissive women.....but I would hate being in a submissive position in a relationship even more.


For some reason "sub" women really like me, go figure. I don't really care about that. I just like positive communicative mutual interaction with other people. If a woman wanted me to role play dom, I could do that quite well as long as equality was ensured. I can't role play submissive at all.

I don't like real power differentials.

There is only one place where they are necessary, that is in parenting and even then it needs to be extremely mindful and measured.


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I may use terms that are part of my theory of "Functional Cognitive Typology". Diagnosis is always a mixed bag but generally they map to the cognitive type when in dysfunction:
C = Cultural (NT), EC = Extra-Cultural (ASD)
U = understanding ~ ADD/ADHD
A = acceptance ~ baseline, normal
T = trust ~ possible schizotypal disorder
R = respect ~ NPD
C = cerebral (adrenaline averse), S = somatic (adrenaline seeking)

I am ECUC/S (cusp cerebral/somatic)


Last edited by Chain on 02 Jul 2020, 11:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Chain
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02 Jul 2020, 11:03 am

cyberdad wrote:

Human social groups tend to form hierarchies based on the ability of some dominating others based on some characteristic e,g. strength, skills, social importance etc. it's built into our DNA.

Over tens of thousands of years women were subservient but they played an important (one could argue critical) role in maintaining society. In our modern era large masses of men are for the first time capable of the cognitive leap to understand that women are equal in all areas of life. However we have to be patient. Our interpersonal interactions are a beacon to provide a role model for those choosing to not grow or develop as human beings.


Human cultures (tribes) are a balancing act between hierarchy and equality. Gender in this case is a cultural construct. There have been matriarchal societies. I lived in Japan for 3 years and even through the intense patriarchy there, I could see remnants of the older matriarchal society.

DNA is simply a form of memory as is culture. There is a survival of the fittest BUT that changes based on survival methods in a given species. Humans survive when the tribe is balanced between equality and hierarchy. Personally I don't like hierarchy at all and feel that we are past that tribal stage as a species. Hence "radical egalitarian" :)

And I am not patient about equality, hence "radical" ;)


_________________
I may use terms that are part of my theory of "Functional Cognitive Typology". Diagnosis is always a mixed bag but generally they map to the cognitive type when in dysfunction:
C = Cultural (NT), EC = Extra-Cultural (ASD)
U = understanding ~ ADD/ADHD
A = acceptance ~ baseline, normal
T = trust ~ possible schizotypal disorder
R = respect ~ NPD
C = cerebral (adrenaline averse), S = somatic (adrenaline seeking)

I am ECUC/S (cusp cerebral/somatic)


Chain
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02 Jul 2020, 11:26 am

quite an extreme wrote:
because not matching your gender role makes you kind of unattractive. There are reasons why people are how they are but it's fine and you can't ignore biology. There are areas that are predominated by women and others by man. Some of them because of their gender specific strengths and some just because of gender specific preferences. Society and people disallow you to treat women and man the same and people don't do it. You'll find always differences even here where all people have the same rights and abilities.


Well... I can tell you that people of my cognitive type (ECU) do not have a sense of gender as anything other than an external and physical experience. I do not fit any gender role at all yet I am attractive to women. My wife and I do have roles but they are not that gender specific. She does the finances and I cook. She is my cognitive type... so she really has no sense of gender either. It works out well.

Overly feminine women and masculine men actually freak me the hell out. Don't even get me started on toxic masculinity!


_________________
I may use terms that are part of my theory of "Functional Cognitive Typology". Diagnosis is always a mixed bag but generally they map to the cognitive type when in dysfunction:
C = Cultural (NT), EC = Extra-Cultural (ASD)
U = understanding ~ ADD/ADHD
A = acceptance ~ baseline, normal
T = trust ~ possible schizotypal disorder
R = respect ~ NPD
C = cerebral (adrenaline averse), S = somatic (adrenaline seeking)

I am ECUC/S (cusp cerebral/somatic)


The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Jul 2020, 11:31 am

Chain wrote:
cyberdad wrote:

Human social groups tend to form hierarchies based on the ability of some dominating others based on some characteristic e,g. strength, skills, social importance etc. it's built into our DNA.

Over tens of thousands of years women were subservient but they played an important (one could argue critical) role in maintaining society. In our modern era large masses of men are for the first time capable of the cognitive leap to understand that women are equal in all areas of life. However we have to be patient. Our interpersonal interactions are a beacon to provide a role model for those choosing to not grow or develop as human beings.


Human cultures (tribes) are a balancing act between hierarchy and equality. Gender in this case is a cultural construct. There have been matriarchal societies. I lived in Japan for 3 years and even through the intense patriarchy there, I could see remnants of the older matriarchal society.

DNA is simply a form of memory as is culture. There is a survival of the fittest BUT that changes based on survival methods in a given species. Humans survive when the tribe is balanced between equality and hierarchy. Personally I don't like hierarchy at all and feel that we are past that tribal stage as a species. Hence "radical egalitarian" :)

And I am not patient about equality, hence "radical" ;)



When it comes to DNA as memory, it shows that humans have been mostly patriarchal and polygynous through mankind history: https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-r ... ve-success

There are other evidences of that such such as our sexual dimorphism and.... the written history itself, “Patriarchal” species tend to have violent and territorial males, and... who always waged wars in human history?

Socially speaking humans were always closer to chimps/gorillas, not to bonobos.



LunaticCentruroides
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02 Jul 2020, 12:02 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

When it comes to DNA as memory, it shows that humans have been mostly patriarchal and polygynous through mankind history: https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-r ... ve-success

There are other evidences of that such such as our sexual dimorphism and.... the written history itself, “Patriarchal” species tend to have violent and territorial males, and... who always waged wars in human history?

Socially speaking humans were always closer to chimps/gorillas, not to bonobos.


Patriarchy is one of the greatest tragedy that happened to the human race.

There's a reason why females are more picky than males.



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02 Jul 2020, 1:25 pm

LunaticCentruroides wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

When it comes to DNA as memory, it shows that humans have been mostly patriarchal and polygynous through mankind history: https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-r ... ve-success

There are other evidences of that such such as our sexual dimorphism and.... the written history itself, “Patriarchal” species tend to have violent and territorial males, and... who always waged wars in human history?

Socially speaking humans were always closer to chimps/gorillas, not to bonobos.


Patriarchy is one of the greatest tragedy that happened to the human race.

There's a reason why females are more picky than males.


Most mammals are patriarchal and polygynous (the two things are very related btw).