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Pepe
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30 Aug 2020, 4:54 am

Romantic Vs. Platonic Love.

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The biggest difference between types of love is that of romantic love vs. platonic love. Romantic love is the feelings you would have for a partner or spouse. While they may not necessarily be sexual, there is a sexual element to them and a physical intimacy that is not usually present in any other type of love. Platonic love does not have sexual feelings. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/ ... s-of-love/



Pepe
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30 Aug 2020, 5:12 am

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The 7 Types Of Love

According to the ancient Greeks, there are seven types of recognizable love, however, to be in love you must experience all seven concurrently.

Eros

This is physical love. It is passionate, and the closest description is romantic love. Eros or Cupid was a god of love who was blindfolded to indicate that "love is blind." Eros love is consuming and is considered connected to our life force and part of survival. Eros love is something we do not have any control over; it controls us. It is needy, dependent, controlling, and powerful. Eros is also deeply connected to lust because of this.

Philia

This is the love of friendship. Philia is friendship founded on mutual goodness and understanding. According to Plato, the best type of love is philia because it is trusting and dependable. It may transform into Eros over time but can also exist on its own. Friends who experience philia act as confidants and have a lot of insight about each other.

Storge

This is a subset of philia which is only for familial relations like parents, children, or siblings. Storage is different because it is related to dependency and familiarity rather than chosen through mutual feeling. We do not choose to experience storge; it's simply part of our relationship with that person.

Agape

This is an ambiguous love and relates more to enjoyment than an actual bond. Agape is often used to describe a person's relationship with God, or with things they appreciate. It's altruistic and is a sign of good mental health. Agape describes the happiness you feel when a song you enjoy comes on the radio or your appreciation of a, particularly beautiful sunset. It is the love we feel for our surroundings, our place in the world, etc. It is unconditional love.

Ludus

Ludus is about enjoying the moment. It is playful love. It can be confused for eros which is often the case of unrequited love, but it is strictly platonic like philia. Ludus is casual, fun, and can be long lasting like in the case of close friendships. It is a shared experience without the pressure of eros or the physical urges that accompany it. Ludus requires time to grow and mature, it is a following on of philia beyond the initial friendship stage.

Pragma

This is a type of romantic love where the relationship has transcended the physical need and moved on from the powerful urges that accompany the beginning of a relationship. Pragma is about compatibility and steadiness. It is about shared interests and compatibility that often blooms out of arranged marriages where eros doesn't exist. Unlike Ludus, pragma is not about fun or enjoyment but connection alone. In pragma relationships, partners understand that there are things they don't like about the other but choose to ignore them in favor of the things they do enjoy.

Philautia

This is self-love. It's something most people struggle with as it can cause hubris and it can also cause deep inner struggle. It is connected to confidence, self-esteem, and people who struggle with philautia tend to have problems with addictions.

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/ ... s-of-love/



Pepe
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30 Aug 2020, 5:47 am

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There are many types of love that you will experience in this lifetime. Canadian psychologist John Allen Lee, invented the Color Wheel Theory of Love (Bader, 2016). He believes that there are all kinds of love from: playful love (ludus), obsessive love (mania) all the way to erotic love (eros). There are eight types of love according to John Allen's wheel theory. Believe it or not, you may have already experienced one of these types! Comment below which ones you have experienced and which ones you want to experience again?





Pepe
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31 Aug 2020, 5:21 am

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To Plato, the original meaning of platonic love had nothing to do with vulgar or carnal lusts.

Plato defined platonic love as the kind of love that motivates us to become better versions of ourselves, inspiring us to pursue greater goals, and bringing us closer to enlightenment or the divine.

However, these days the term “platonic relationship” is usually used to describe a “friends only” relationship.

The kind of relationship in which you would do anything for the person, regardless of gender, but have no interest in being with them sexually or romantically.

But it can sometimes be difficult to tell if a relationship is a platonic one, especially if one partner is slightly attracted to the other.

The lines often get blurred, and clearing up the status of a relationship—a platonic one, or one that might become more—is crucial towards defining a healthy relationship. https://hackspirit.com/3-characteristics-platonic-love/



Pepe
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31 Aug 2020, 5:30 am

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3 Traits of a Platonic Connection

The easiest way to tell if a platonic connection is simply platonic is to ask yourself: is this person just a friend, or more?

However, answering this question isn’t always easy. So here are three characteristics of a platonic relationship:



Pepe
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31 Aug 2020, 6:27 am

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Platonic love is very rare. If you love someone, you want this person physically and emotionally. If you love someone platonically, you will love this person only emotionally.



Pepe
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01 Sep 2020, 5:11 am

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3 Traits of a Platonic Connection

1) You Respect Each Other’s Boundaries
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Image credit: Shutterstock – By Dmytro Zinkevych

When you begin a relationship with a new person, you have zero knowledge of each other’s boundaries.

The things you’re comfortable doing and not doing without changing the status of your relationship; these are your boundaries, and respecting these boundaries without pushing is crucial towards establishing a good platonic relationship.

Friendships that are new and still evolving might not yet have established boundaries.

This might be because the two parties have yet to share enough experiences to develop these boundaries; it could also be because one party is interested in having more than the other party is interested in.

If two friends can get over the difference in attraction and interest, then the beginning of a platonic relationship can start up.

For example, one boundary that many platonic relationships must have is whether or not they will sleep in the same room when travelling together.

Will there be a conflict of interest if you get involved sexually or romantically, and will there be pain if you have these experiences with another person?

These are the boundaries you need to define and, hopefully, respect.



Pepe
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01 Sep 2020, 5:17 am

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2) You Don’t Hold Expectations Over Each Other

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Expectations are common in romantic and sexual relationships, and it’s not hard to see why.

When you give your heart and trust to someone, you expect them to treat you with a certain level of attention, kindness, and loyalty.

It’s about a mutual respect in which you avoid doing certain things because you are loyal to your partner, and you expect the same commitment from them.

But platonic relationships aren’t bogged down with these details.

You have no shared commitments—no family, no mortgage, no pets, no shared finances—so you don’t owe each other anything except friendship.

When you and your platonic partner become comfortable with the idea that you hold each other to no expectations, then you can say that it is truly a functional platonic relationship.

If not, then there might still be some long discussions to be had.



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01 Sep 2020, 5:19 am

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3) You Aren’t Afraid to Be Truly Honest
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Image credit: Shutterstock – By Roman Kosolapov

As much as we might hate to admit, no romantic relationship could exist if we didn’t sometimes pepper it with small white lies.

We say things to make our partner happy, to ensure that we live in a house of peace, to keep things working perfectly.

But in a platonic relationship, there isn’t much need for this kind of small deceit. Firstly, you have no fear that your partner might leave, because they aren’t a partner at all.

They’ve got their own life and you’ve got yours; the only expectation in your relationship is that you spend enough time together every now and then to keep it alive.

You also don’t have to worry about keeping peace. You and your platonic relationship partner can part ways for a certain amount of time, and you can come back to it when the wounds have healed.

And if they don’t, then they don’t—it wasn’t meant to be, even in a platonic kind of way.



Pepe
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01 Sep 2020, 7:06 am

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Platonic love can come from anywhere, but most generally it is used to describe strong friendships. In platonic love, there is no sex, no attraction, and no romantic involvement. The relationships often occur within the same gender, but heterosexual platonic love is common too. This type of love transcends gender, age, race, and sexual orientation to bring two people together. https://www.regain.us/advice/love/what- ... u-need-it/


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In platonic love, both parties feel overwhelming gratitude, fondness, and interest for one another. These relationships, which often grow from typical friendships, turn into deeper and stronger bonds. Individuals who say they are in a platonic relationship talk frequently about their intense longing to be with one another, and their unique ability to stay emotionally and mentally connected despite living in opposite areas of the globe, or through temporary separations.


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Someone Sees The Real You

Platonic friendships need a strong intellectual and spiritual connection to exist. This means opening yourself up in ways that many other people would judge. If someone accepts everything about you and loves you just the same, their friendship becomes a safe place where you can just be you. Having a place with zero judgment is hard to come by in today's world. Being able to share that with someone is truly unique in our society.



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01 Sep 2020, 7:21 am

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You Need Someone To Talk To

A platonic relationship needs commitment. This commitment needs to come from a place of sincere love for this person. Do not try to connect with someone simply because you're bored or need someone to talk to. A friend is not your personal form of entertainment. If you are not truly invested in growing a deep relationship with someone, stay far from platonic love.


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Can you be platonically in love with someone?

You can love someone platonically, but it won't look the same as a relationship with a romantic subject of love. Platonic lovers are connected deeply and have a special understanding of one another. Platonic relationships, platonic friends, and platonic lovers are often sacred. This is a soulful bond where two human beings care for each other deeply, which is something we all need in our lives. When two human beings love each other platonically, they will be very close, possibly to the point that others think that they could be in a romantic relationship despite the fact that that's not the case. The characteristics of platonic love outlined in this article show why it is important and why it isn't the same as falling in love with someone the way that people who are in romantic partnership would.



Pepe
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01 Sep 2020, 7:46 am

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What does platonic love feel like?

The meaning of platonic love describes what it feels like pretty well. Platonic love is one of the types of love that is close, but not interchangeable with the love that exists in a romantic partnership. When you experience this type of love, you will experience it by caring about a person very deeply. You will have a desire to have them in your life for a long time, and you will value their time and connection with you greatly. Platonic love is something that you might have for a lifelong friend. It's not something you would have for an acquaintance. Think of a person in your life who just "gets" you. Someone that you appreciate, feel is special, and are enormously grateful for. That's likely someone that you have a platonic type of love for.

Characteristics of platonic love include a sense of appreciation for the other person, the ability to be honest and candid with the other person, the ability to be yourself around the person, and mutual fondness. These traits are part of why purely platonic love has an essential place in our lives. Having someone you love, even platonically, typically means that you have someone in your life who makes you happy and who supports you, which is invaluable.



rdos
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01 Sep 2020, 3:54 pm

I doubt that any of them describe ND love very well. It's just different ways NTs describe it.

ND love should be:
Passionate
Without expectatiions
Based on a mind-to-mind connection
Based on a strong connection which makes verbal commitments unnecessary
Non-exclusive
Non-verbal



that1weirdgrrrl
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01 Sep 2020, 10:22 pm

rdos wrote:
I doubt that any of them describe ND love very well. It's just different ways NTs describe it.

ND love should be:
Passionate
Without expectatiions
Based on a mind-to-mind connection
Based on a strong connection which makes verbal commitments unnecessary
Non-exclusive
Non-verbal


What does non-exclusive mean?


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Pepe
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01 Sep 2020, 10:41 pm

rdos wrote:
I doubt that any of them describe ND love very well. It's just different ways NTs describe it.

ND love should be:
Passionate
Without expectatiions
Based on a mind-to-mind connection
Based on a strong connection which makes verbal commitments unnecessary
Non-exclusive
Non-verbal


I disagree.
I need verbal feedback without distortions via white lies, etc.
I don't have Theory of Mind, so I need verbal communication to verify we are on the same page.
Making assumptions doesn't work out well for me.



Pepe
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01 Sep 2020, 10:46 pm

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
rdos wrote:
I doubt that any of them describe ND love very well. It's just different ways NTs describe it.

ND love should be:
Passionate
Without expectatiions
Based on a mind-to-mind connection
Based on a strong connection which makes verbal commitments unnecessary
Non-exclusive
Non-verbal


What does non-exclusive mean?


Hopping around in various boudoirs, I believe, if in a romantic relationship.
I.E. A polyamorous relationship.

If it is in a platonic relationship, just more close friends, though I am not sure that works too well in a platonic relationship where *love* is involved.
I guess it depends on the person. <shrug>