Chasing after those who don’t care for us!

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It just means they are scared of the unknown.

I think people chase to control the situation. Rejection gives them anxiety so they chase to stall the panicky feeling of the inevitable - like addiction - the oxytocin (love drug) feels too good - once you accept the rejection, it's like hitting your face on the ice cold floor. We do almost anything to avoid that feeling. Once the horrible sting of the rejection subsides, you go back to normal or what feels normal to you. I feel it's horribly, horribly embarrassing to hold on to someone who doesn't want to be with you. Embarrassing. It almost goes back to being a little kid and trying to force play onto a pet cat. I remember my own mom screaming, "Would you leave that poor thing alone!!" Absolutely embarrassing. Before I got married, I vowed to only date men who I didn't find physically attractive. This helped me just be myself and relax. If I went into overdrive for someone that was attractive, it didn't feel too good psychologically.
I couldn't stand feeling like I had to be bloody perfect. On my wedding day, I took a really good look at my husband and found him absolutely ethereal. I was the only one but it was real to me. The only problem was his indirect gaze - I went and cried in the bathroom because his asperger's prevented him from enjoying the reception. I didn't want all that fluff. He did. I would've been happy taking a bus down to the local court and we could've got married and saved all that money.

Yep, it really boils down to just the chemical reactions in the brain.
Oxytocin is a very powerful drug, but you can fight the addiction.

Humans are pretty stupid, in many ways.
Blame the evolutionary process.

There is a delusional disorder called Erotomania where the sufferer believes that another person is in love with them even thou that person has displayed no signs of interest. Erotomania is one of the reasons celebrities may get stalked.

How can we know with 100 percent certainty that someone is not interested in us? It's common for us Aspies to get told that others are sometimes into us when we assume they are not, especially us Aspie guys who are into women. It seems guys in general tend to have a hard time reading & understanding NT women cuz NT women tend to not be direct & straightforward enough. For example I was online friends with an NT girl who I hit on after a bit & she specifally told me that we should just be friends. A week later I made a comment about being on a dating site & she got upset with me. Apparently when she told me lets be friends what she really meant was that we should be friends & see how things go but I misinterpreted that as we should only be friends. I talked about this with some NT guy friends after & they did not understand her behavior either. I suspect that half of all guys would remain single all their lives if they moved on whenever they felt that a girl may be rejecting them.

When she never initiates texting.

At school I used to chase boys that weren't interested in me. I did understand that they weren't interested, but that still didn't stop me chasing after them. I wasn't very desirable though as a teenager because I often had unwashed hair and unshaved legs and just didn't take very good care of myself. Maybe if I'd made a bit more effort in my appearance I might've got a boyfriend.

I remember I had a crush on this boy in the year below, and he went up to me and asked if I really liked him that much, and I could tell he seemed annoyed so I said, "well, no, but..." The word "no" was all he wanted to hear, so he said, "good!" and walked off. And I don't blame him. Why would any boy want a shy, unkempt weirdo when they can have the choice of all the pretty, popular girls who actually took pride in their appearance?

I think aspies do this more than anyone else. It has to do with Theory of mind. (ToM) is the ability to attribute mental states to ourselves and others, serving as one of the foundational elements for social interaction. Having a theory of mind is important as it provides the ability to predict and interpret the behavior of others. We lack this. This is why we chase those who OBVIOUSLY don't want to be with us. We just don't get the understanding that people don't share the same thoughts and feelings as we do. I used to chronically chase guys UNTIL this one guy who I could not stand chased me. (This was a first!) Then I started to feel a great deal of embarrassment when I started chasing people who didn't want me. Then and only then did I understand how annoyed they were getting and that I had to stop and realize "no" meant "no". The same with empathy. NT's can empathize even if they never experienced a certain circumstance but the aspie must actually experience the circumstance in order to be able to empathize.

https://www.verywellmind.com/theory-of-mind-4176826

Tbh I think we chase because we want what we cant have. It is the way of the human brain: For Example: With this generation when someone says "no" we say "oh yea wanna bet". It is just how were raised in my opinion "Nature over Nurture" has alot to do with it. Our childhood effects are cognitive and behavioral. Really don't wanna explain all the way, I'm tired

Agreed.
Someone got a Noble Peace prize for pointing this out in a considered theory.

It is part of the human psyche to want what others have.
"The arrse is always cleaner on the other side of the great divide."

I heard NT women admit to playing hard to get in order to attract guys. I know of cases where the woman was playing hard to get with a guy friend or guy aquantice & the guy had no clue that the woman was into him at the time. Us guys in general often hear women complain about unwelcome advances from guys but if NT guys have major trouble telling the difference from an unwelcome advance or playing hard to get, it's really no wonder us Aspie guys tend to have major problems getting women. I think a major advantage NT guys have is that women tend to be into NT guys much more often than women are into Aspie guys. So when a woman is being cold with an NT guy it is much more likely that she is playing hard to get than when a woman is being cold with an Aspie guy. This may be a big factor as to why much more of guys on this forum complain about how they cant get any women than women on this forum who complain about how they cant get any guy. One of the biggest complaints guys in general have about women is that women tend to play "mind games" so some NT guys find the directness of Aspie women refreshing.

Wow, that is really triggering. Now I feel like throwing my phone across the room and deleting my WP account.



If you believe that empathy is "treat others how you'd want to be treated" then that you are wrong.

Basically every autistic person gets misunderstood at some point in their lives, and while the pressure is on us to understand NTs, I don't think most NTs would really understand what autism is like unless they actually spent a day being autistic themselves. Hence the way NTs question us on why we might shy away from a social situation or have sensory overload or whatever.

It is actually a common human trait to have better empathy for those who have experienced the same as you than those that haven't.

Fire in the hole!!

I am the black sheep I actually like the unknown. Always am willing to learn more. Sorry, I took a psychology class and am very interested and want to learn more but I already finished it.

That thing about NT women playing hard to get - they're not playing hard to get. They are simply enabling the man to chase because biologically men are hard-wired to chase. They are simply being female. I will NEVER FULLY UNDERSTAND the NT world. It's just not possible. To understand evil NT's is even harder and the evil aspies employed by them still harder yet.