Lack of intimacy in a relationship!

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Jamesy
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14 Dec 2020, 7:20 pm

Guys would you be willing to date/have a relationship with a woman who didn’t want sex or even a cuddle?

I personally would not want that at all because intimacy in a romantic relationship is VERY important. From experience though I understand some people are willing to compromise and I guess some folk are ok with just sitting on the couch and watching films with there girlfriend without cuddling.



Tim_Tex
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15 Dec 2020, 7:52 am

Hell no.


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15 Dec 2020, 8:54 am

Jamesy, do you really believe that a relationship without sex is no relationship at all?


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Jamesy
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15 Dec 2020, 9:20 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy, do you really believe that a relationship without sex is no relationship at all?


Would you say a relationship without cuddling and just watching tv together all night is satisfactory?



Fnord
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15 Dec 2020, 9:21 am

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy, do you really believe that a relationship without sex is no relationship at all?
Would you say a relationship without cuddling and just watching tv together all night is satisfactory?
For some, it is.

Now answer my question.


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Jamesy
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15 Dec 2020, 9:24 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy, do you really believe that a relationship without sex is no relationship at all?
Would you say a relationship without cuddling and just watching tv together all night is satisfactory?
For some, it is.

Now answer my question.



My question to you is why do some couples not have sex? Is it out of fear or something? :?



Fnord
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15 Dec 2020, 9:39 am

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy, do you really believe that a relationship without sex is no relationship at all?
Would you say a relationship without cuddling and just watching tv together all night is satisfactory?
For some, it is.  Now answer my question.
My question to you is why do some couples not have sex? Is it out of fear or something?
Why not?


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Jamesy
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15 Dec 2020, 9:45 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy, do you really believe that a relationship without sex is no relationship at all?
Would you say a relationship without cuddling and just watching tv together all night is satisfactory?
For some, it is.  Now answer my question.
My question to you is why do some couples not have sex? Is it out of fear or something?
Why not?



why not what?



Nades
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15 Dec 2020, 9:47 am

A relationship without intimacy is just a friendship in my eyes.

I see a lack of intimacy as an ominous sign in a relationship. There are different types of love for other people but some are worthless. A relationship with no intimacy is a sign they love you more for what materialistic possessions you have and not as a person.

I would love a Terminator T800 if it brought in 50k a year, kept a roof over my head and allowed me to watch Netflix all day long without me having to lift a finger. Everyone will love a golden goose if it's in their life.

How much that love is worth? Nothing. Is it a good type of love? Hell no.

I've had a couple of people interested in me like that. If they love me enough to want me to be their provider then they should love me enough to want to touch me but they didn't. I kicked them to the curb.



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15 Dec 2020, 3:14 pm

Just to clarify,

is the problem that this hypothetical person NEVER wants to cuddle,

or is it that they don't ALWAYS want to cuddle?

When and how often is this person expected to cuddle?

How soon in the relationship is the cuddling expected to start?



Pepe
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15 Dec 2020, 7:43 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Guys would you be willing to date/have a relationship with a woman who didn’t want sex or even a cuddle?


It is called a friendship online. 8)

Jamesy wrote:
I personally would not want that at all because intimacy in a romantic relationship is VERY important.


By definition, a *romantic* relationship necessitates sex.
Without sex, you have a platonic relationship.

Jamesy wrote:
From experience though I understand some people are willing to compromise and I guess some folk are ok with just sitting on the couch and watching films with there girlfriend without cuddling.


This relationship is a friendship with a "gurl", not a gurlfriend relationship. 8)

Next thread, please! :mrgreen:


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Pepe
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15 Dec 2020, 7:45 pm

Nades wrote:
A relationship without intimacy is just a friendship in my eyes.

I see a lack of intimacy as an ominous sign in a relationship. There are different types of love for other people but some are worthless. A relationship with no intimacy is a sign they love you more for what materialistic possessions you have and not as a person.

I would love a Terminator T800 if it brought in 50k a year, kept a roof over my head and allowed me to watch Netflix all day long without me having to lift a finger. Everyone will love a golden goose if it's in their life.

How much that love is worth? Nothing. Is it a good type of love? Hell no.

I've had a couple of people interested in me like that. If they love me enough to want me to be their provider then they should love me enough to want to touch me but they didn't. I kicked them to the curb.


I suspect Jamesy is "pulling our chain". :wink:


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Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. "Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions." I didn't say that. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many on the left pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


THERE WILL BE NO COUP IN AMERICA!


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15 Dec 2020, 10:05 pm

NO guy except one under the ACE umbrella would appreciate a woman who didn't want to have sex or even cuddle.



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15 Dec 2020, 11:25 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
NO guy except one under the ACE umbrella would appreciate a woman who didn't want to have sex or even cuddle.
Some older guys might would like that kinda relationship as well as some guys who have Schizoid Personality Disorder. Those types of guys are not likely to bother going in the L&D section if they are on WP.

Me & my girlfriend have not had sex in close to two years probably, due to health issues, mostly her health. We are very affectionate thou, especially me. I can live without sex cuz I'm sorta on the asexuality spectrum & I'm on a med that reduces my sex drive. I kinda need physical affection thou. I HATED sleeping alone when I was single. But if I knew the only kinda relationship I could get is one that lacked sex & affection, I would probably take it cuz it would still be a lot better than living with my parents or living on my own. Sometimes you settle for the poor-man's version of something when you know you can not obtain the real thing.


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15 Dec 2020, 11:35 pm

First of all let's establish that you are specifically talking about physical intimacy, yes?

As Fnord said, "For some it is" and that is because they are able to find enough fulfillment within the other forms of intimacy.

If you can have sex without love, you can have relationships/love without sex.

Quote:
My question to you is why do some couples not have sex? Is it out of fear or something? :?

I realize I'm not "you" but I'm a answer anyway. There are more than a few reasons a couple may abstain. Medical or health reasons, religious beliefs, fear of pregnancy, physically incapable, might be taking a break from it, no time or energy(temporary due to children), just aren't ready for it, it could be too painful, distance...to name some off the top of my head.

As for an a reason a couple might not have physical intimacy on the level of cuddling..My first guess would be is they have sensory issues that makes even that level uncomfortable. Or maybe someone is a germophob. Relationships are complicated with complicated imperfect people. Every couple gets to decide what is right for them.


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Nades
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16 Dec 2020, 5:00 am

Jamesy wrote:
Guys would you be willing to date/have a relationship with a woman who didn’t want sex or even a cuddle?

I personally would not want that at all because intimacy in a romantic relationship is VERY important. From experience though I understand some people are willing to compromise and I guess some folk are ok with just sitting on the couch and watching films with there girlfriend without cuddling.


Out of interest has a celibate woman asked you for a relationship? I noticed that as you get older the men and women who are incredibly frigid and were unable to maintain relationships increasingly come to us aspies in a somewhat naive hope that we are more tolerant of indefinite celibacy in a relationship.

I've had a couple of people like that ask me in the past. Each to their own in what they want in a relationship but I think once people get into their 30s it's inappropriate to ask or expect a celibate relationship. If someone isn't ready for sex in their 30s then they will never be ready.