Would dating online really make a difference?

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Just don’t send a picture of your dick...that’s stupid!

I would prefer a Sausage Party

I have been going out to night clubs in my 20s, but I stopped because I realized I am very socially inept and not very good looking due to not working out. I never managed a hook up either from a night club, although 1-2 women offered it, but I drove them away by being too uncomfortable and acting very strange. I managed to dance with women a few times. Mostly, I ended up going to be around people who were having fun, because I craved it too, although couldn't participate when I got there. I would have felt bad if I had never tried, but I did not get that much out of it, although, it was a lot more than I had before - which was nothing.

The 1-2 hookups I did get were NOT through night clubs, but through social dance lessons and gatherings and meet up like gatherings like couchsurfing.

At this point in my life, I am 33 and feel like why bother? I got obese and barely ever move, eat junk food, have no energy, and work the night shift. I don't think I have any chance at dating or a hook up at this point, or even that much interest.

Getting a date or a gf or wife through nerdy non-sexualized social venues such as clubs, dance classes, meet ups, karate, yoga, gym, and church etc. is much more realistic for aspie type men. It is a common mistake to go where the very coolest people are having a lot of fun dating and doing sexualized stuff like travel groups and night clubs, but you will stand out among them and end up feeling left out. Many women avoid night clubs because they can't compete there either and the social atmosphere there is too demanding and high pressure.

If you can learn to cook, clean, budget money, exercise, dress up, stop watching porn, meditate and take care of yourself though, a gf might just magically appear as your energy level will change. Maybe that is a better avenue to try?

Honestly, I wish aspies would try online more often.
As an aspie, I can say that forming a serious connection is much easier online because you have a chance to better express yourself without worrying about constant social interaction. I've never joined a dating site because I feel like they're full of people who are only looking for a one night's stand rather than a serious relationship. For myself, my relationship started out as online friendship and blossomed into something more over the course of getting to know him.
The only struggle is the long distance, preferably you'd want to be with someone who's at least in the same country as you otherwise it can get pretty pricy just to see them. But once you see that person for the first time, it's incredible! It's like meeting someone you've known forever and you can skip all the awkward parts because you know each other already. My relationship is wonderful, we've been together for three years now and we're no longer long distance.

My advice though, if you're going to try this always be honest and always communicate. These long distance things can go real sour real quick if you're suspicious of your partner for any reason. I can firmly say though, online relationships are easier to form but probably harder to keep unless you're very persistent/in love.

I believe us Aspies tend to have better luck with others who are more on our level. Bars & clubs are for extroverted people who like partying with others to relax. In person social skills are very essential in those places & chances are any romantic partner you meet there would be an extrovert with good social skills which would be a horrible match for an introverted socially awkward Aspie. The extrovert would be regularly complaining about how he/she can not take the Aspie to social events because the Aspie would either refuse to go or the Aspie would make a fool of him/herself & embarrass the socially skilled extrovert.

However dating sites may not be a good for Aspies either, especially Aspie guys who want relationships with women. There are generally much more guys on dating sites than women which creates an atmosphere where the guys are like job seekers & the women are like employers. The guys are all competing against each other to prove themselves worthy to the women. That said, dating sites might be a bit easier for Aspie guys to try than bars/clubs & other various avenues. One common stereotype about us Aspies is that we strongly prefer computer & online technology over offline socializing. I found it a lot easier to sign up for a site & create a profile than to initiate conversations with strangers offline & I prefer spending my time at home on my computer instead of going a bar/club.

I think us Aspies need to try alternative approaches for meeting others. Maybe there's offline or online groups for our special interests. Maybe we have an interest or talent for something creative like art, making music, writing poetry. If so we should try to find ways to meet others who are into that & we could try to find ways to showcase our stuff offline or online. Some people are attracted to creative types. If we care about a cause, we could try to find ways to volunteer & meet others who are into it. Maybe that's working with animals, protecting the environment, helping the poor & disabled, promoting peace, fighting for equality. Some people are attracted to others who are caring & compassionate. If there is an underground alternative/counter cultural group we relate to, we could try to meet others offline or online who are into it. If we're into something that's mainstream in our area, we could go to things related to that. If we are attracted to or like characteristics in others that lots of others would have problems with, we could try & seek out others who have those characteristics. We could try joining offline & online support groups for various issues & problems we may have; this forum is a perfect example of one & I know there has been various couples that met on here including me & my girlfriend. Autism is diagnosed much more in males thou. But maybe you have a comorbid with autism or a disability unrelated to autism that would have a more even or higher ratio of women to men. Instead of just focusing on our negatives we should try & focus our our positives even if those are things most others would not consider positive. There might be a minority who would find em positive. We should also find ways to put a positive spin on our negatives. We need to know how to market ourselves within our own niche.

Another alternative I thought of is that we could try meeting people from other cultures like maybe international dating if one is willing to relocate. Or we could look for someone who immigrated to our country or someone who was born there but who's parents had immigrated. Some things might would be written off as cultural differences. Also some cultures like Japanese can have some aspects that might be more accepting & appealing for certain Aspie traits. For example nerd culture is more popular in Japan, things like anime(they invented it), video-games, & various technology stuff.

I might have some other ideas & things to add another day but I want to post this before I forget it.

OMGGG!! ! ! One time, a co-worker of mine wanted to show me a picture of his dick - it ended up being his pet feline who's name was "Dick". He loved "Dick Cavett" and named the cat after him. We have been friends ever since. He too is on the spectrum.

My experience, not too vast, but...
Bars or similar: Yes I could get laid, I loosened up with some beer inside, but never made a relationship that way.
Online: Um, probably my worst experience, I got into an abusive relationship. And it was with a woman of a different culture.
Via friends: One of the best ways.
Work (could be school or social clubs like a bridge club for example too): That worked the best.

I don't look particularly good, and the women I got attracted to wasn't always so good-looking either, for a relationship many other factors matters much more than looks.

/Mats

Online gives you the option to talk to a person more before you meet up with them, and you can put up a profile which you can always update and edit to make it more appealing. Also you can maybe talk to people you would not have gotten the opportunity to IRL, which can potentially open up more options.

I mean I think it is worth trying, it is how I met my boyfriend and we have been together 5 years now.

You're a woman, of course it's going to work for you. Online dating is wayyyy easier if you're a woman and that's a fact!

And if you think i'm full of horse crap, then sign up for Tinder as a normal looking man and see if you can even get a date within a week. The odds are that you likely won't.

You're a woman, of course it's going to work for you. Online dating is wayyyy easier if you're a woman and that's a fact!

And if you think i'm full of horse crap, then sign up for Tinder as a normal looking man and see if you can even get a date within a week. The odds are that you likely won't.