When a woman rejects someone

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rdos
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13 Jan 2021, 10:38 am

cberg wrote:
I don't really want anything to do with this culture of haves & have-nots.


Neither do I. If love & relationships come down to this, I'd rather be single. Fortunately, they don't.



rdos
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13 Jan 2021, 10:44 am

KT67 wrote:
The pain of being rejected is bad (for either sex/any gender/any sexuality).

But the pain of being afraid to say no and being coerced into a sexual situation is far worse than that.


They are related. A lot of ND women are too trusting, get abused and so become afraid of men. However, this is not something that ND dudes should be crucified for since it is not their fault. It all comes down to the sexist NT male "hook-up" culture. Yes, it's NT related and it is not NT-bashing since it is very real.



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13 Jan 2021, 11:02 am

KT67 wrote:
rdos wrote:
cberg wrote:
Your animosity is moot, our discussion is about real sexist tropes & not your forcing us to deal with anything.


Agreed. The opinion that males must suffer from repeated rejection by females quite obviously is sexist.

cberg wrote:
Being an as*hole to single dudes is pretty much the definition of sexist feminism.


Agreed again.


Everyone should learn how to accept rejection without getting physical in getting someone to change their mind.


No, everybody should avoid rejecting and getting rejected rather than accepting rejection as inevitable. Especially those that cannot handle it.

In the relationship area, this mostly comes down to using appropriate methods based on neurotype. If you are an ND and cannot read the minds of NT women, then you should not ask random women for a date. I'd even claim that most NDs shouldn't use dating as a method to find suitable partners.



magz
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13 Jan 2021, 11:06 am

rdos wrote:
No, everybody should avoid rejecting and getting rejected rather than accepting rejection as inevitable.
How?

I mean, seriously. How can I avoid rejecting guys who turn out insane enough to try to date me?


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rdos
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13 Jan 2021, 11:09 am

magz wrote:
rdos wrote:
No, everybody should avoid rejecting and getting rejected rather than accepting rejection as inevitable.
How?

I mean, seriously. How can I avoid rejecting guys who turn out insane enough to try to date me?


That comes down to "avoid getting rejected" (in relation to the guy trying to date you). :-)



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13 Jan 2021, 12:38 pm

People need to get used to rejection or learn how to become so desirable that no one would ever reject them.

Otherwise, rejection is inevitable.


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wastubricine
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13 Jan 2021, 12:41 pm

What if a ND rejects another ND, for example because the former one is escaping towards their precious NT persona they're too used and attached to?



magz
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13 Jan 2021, 12:44 pm

What if ND rejects ND for not being attracted to that specific person?


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13 Jan 2021, 12:50 pm

magz wrote:
What if ND rejects ND for not being attracted to that specific person?
EVERYONE should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.

Should rejection be made illegal?  Should you be forced to pay a fine every time you turn down some creep for a date?  Should you be put in jail for saying 'No' to sex?  Should anyone even be required to ask your permission?

Rejecting others is your right and privilege.  Same for everyone else.  People should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way, whether they are the 'rejector' or the 'rejectee'.


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13 Jan 2021, 1:03 pm

I feel like everyone is putting each other in boxes here.

Not all guys are mentally incapable of understanding these things, but the vast majority of us get tarred & feathered as if we are. Not even real empathy towards the scary side of being a woman on the part of guys gets noticed anymore, it's like we are to treat ourselves as emotionally disposable in order to avoid stepping on toes.

Ultimately I think these threads are cooking down everyone's real life experiences into a set of idealized rules. No thanks everyone.


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magz
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13 Jan 2021, 1:04 pm

Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
What if ND rejects ND for not being attracted to that specific person?
EVERYONE should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.

Should rejection be made illegal?  Should you be forced to pay a fine every time you turn down some creep for a date?  Should you be put in jail for saying 'No' to sex?  Should anyone even be required to ask your permission?

Rejecting others is your right and privilege.  Same for everyone else.  People should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.

It's not just a dating thing.


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13 Jan 2021, 1:09 pm

magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
What if ND rejects ND for not being attracted to that specific person?
EVERYONE should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.  Should rejection be made illegal?  Should you be forced to pay a fine every time you turn down some creep for a date?  Should you be put in jail for saying 'No' to sex?  Should anyone even be required to ask your permission?  Rejecting others is your right and privilege.  Same for everyone else.  People should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.
It's not just a dating thing.
I never said it was.  Whether you have just met the person or you have been married to them forever; when it is over, it is over, and that is all there is to it.


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13 Jan 2021, 1:30 pm

personally, it is my opinion that KT67, as well as any other human being has the right to the relationships that they prefer as long as the relationships (and activities within the relationship) are consensual.

As for "playing hard to get" thing, personally, think its a pain in the bum.

As for physically touching, this can be a considered a type of foreplay if consensual, or can be considered a form of sexual assault if not.

As for rejection and fear of rejection. For those of us who are deep and who feel their emotions strongly.
Sure, rejection hurts.

Others, especially those who get offers frequently, are more used to rejecting people rather than getting rejected.
But I don't assume I know what another person is feeling, as each of us human beings (and other sentient beings) are completely individual and each have our own lot in life. Some times what appears to be the case, isn't always the case.

I try not to assume I know.

I don't like getting rejected, and so am a bit of a coward when it comes to woman.
Most the relationships i have had, have been because the woman has chosen me, not the other way around.
Some times to my detriment, but never mind.

Fear of rejection is something that would be good to conquer.
Certainly would help people take advantage of the opportunities that are available.



magz
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13 Jan 2021, 1:43 pm

Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
What if ND rejects ND for not being attracted to that specific person?
EVERYONE should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.  Should rejection be made illegal?  Should you be forced to pay a fine every time you turn down some creep for a date?  Should you be put in jail for saying 'No' to sex?  Should anyone even be required to ask your permission?  Rejecting others is your right and privilege.  Same for everyone else.  People should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.
It's not just a dating thing.
I never said it was.  Whether you have just met the person or you have been married to them forever; when it is over, it is over, and that is all there is to it.
You need to deal with it when your neighbour doesn't like you or when you don't get a job. That's a part of life - hopefully, not the main one.


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13 Jan 2021, 1:52 pm

magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
What if ND rejects ND for not being attracted to that specific person?
EVERYONE should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.  Should rejection be made illegal?  Should you be forced to pay a fine every time you turn down some creep for a date?  Should you be put in jail for saying 'No' to sex?  Should anyone even be required to ask your permission?  Rejecting others is your right and privilege.  Same for everyone else.  People should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.
It's not just a dating thing.
I never said it was.  Whether you have just met the person or you have been married to them forever; when it is over, it is over, and that is all there is to it.
You need to deal with it when your neighbor doesn't like you or when you don't get a job.  That's a part of life - hopefully, not the main one.
A major part of life is learning to deal with every disappointment in a mature and reasonable way, from moving next door to a nasty neighbor, to losing a job, to being dumped, to watching a loved one's casket get lowered into the ground.  Rejection is just one thing, not everything.


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rdos
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13 Jan 2021, 2:49 pm

wastubricine wrote:
What if a ND rejects another ND, for example because the former one is escaping towards their precious NT persona they're too used and attached to?


Good point, and probably not uncommon. In fact, if I had asked my loved one for a date, I'd probably been rejected.