How do you know if you can find someone better or..........?

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Velociraptor
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12 Oct 2021, 11:50 am

How do you know if you can find someone better or that it's just low self-confidence stopping you from thinking you can find someone better?



magz
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12 Oct 2021, 11:57 am

If someone is awful, chances for finding someone better are pretty high.


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12 Oct 2021, 12:55 pm

TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB wrote:
How do you know if you can find someone better or that it's just low self-confidence stopping you from thinking you can find someone better?



Can you find someone better? Well it depends on what qualities you want in a partner relative to the qualities you bring to the table in a potential relationship.

For instance, say you're an unemployed overweight neckbeard. You're probably not going to attract the 10/10 sorority girl with a bangin body making 100k a year. Is it possible? Yes. Is it probable? No


In the dating market, you have three choices. You can either date "within your league" and find someone quicker, try to date someone "out of your league" but probably wait longer and possibly not find anybody, OR you can try and improve your dating market value to attract a higher quality mate. The choice is yours.



magz
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12 Oct 2021, 2:48 pm

Maybe that's just me but I interpreted "better" as "capable of healthier relationship with me".


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Itendswithmexx
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17 Oct 2021, 10:23 am

If you’re wondering that then break up. Cause obviously they aren’t meeting your needs and you don’t love them. The right person will fulfil you I think .. well that’s what I’ve been told about love and respect. If you loved them and if they were right for you then you wouldn’t ever question it. “Always going to be someone prettier,smarter,younger but they’ll never be you”.



Itendswithmexx
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17 Oct 2021, 10:25 am

What type of relationship is that? What’s a priority to you in a person and relationship?



Fnord
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17 Oct 2021, 10:52 am

magz wrote:
Maybe that's just me but I interpreted "better" as "capable of healthier relationship with me".
I interpret it as, “Better looking, more compliant, always agreeable, and not so boring”.



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Velociraptor
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17 Oct 2021, 11:02 am

Itendswithmexx wrote:
If you’re wondering that then break up. Cause obviously they aren’t meeting your needs and you don’t love them. The right person will fulfil you I think .. well that’s what I’ve been told about love and respect. If you loved them and if they were right for you then you wouldn’t ever question it. “Always going to be someone prettier,smarter,younger but they’ll never be you”.


@Itendswithmexx

So instead of focusing on making the outside look good so that the things I hope to attract — be it attention, love, compliments, acceptance — make me feel good, focus on who I truly am as a person and build a better me from the inside out?



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17 Oct 2021, 11:07 am

Itendswithmexx wrote:
What type of relationship is that? What’s a priority to you in a person and relationship?


@Itendswithmexx

It's about going places, achieving goals, building a future together and wanting the same things in the future



nick007
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10 Nov 2021, 12:54 pm

Technically there is always a chance that anyone could get a better partner no matter how great their current partner is or last option was. There also is always a chance that anyone could end up with someone much worse no matter how horrible their current partner is or last option was. None of us can predict the future. Anyone would end up alone by living in the "What Ifs" & always holding out for the best possible partner. The key is to get a partner who's a decent person who you like & get along well with.


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10 Nov 2021, 2:53 pm

TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB wrote:
How do you know if you can find someone better or that it's just low self-confidence stopping you from thinking you can find someone better?


You can definitely find someone better. Set strong boundaries and have high self-worth. You deserve someone who treats you with respect, puts as much effort into the relationship as you do and understands your needs.



Ettina
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10 Nov 2021, 4:41 pm

TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB wrote:
How do you know if you can find someone better or that it's just low self-confidence stopping you from thinking you can find someone better?


Very commonly, people who are wondering this would be better off single even if they can't find someone better. Maybe it'd be easier to ask yourself if you'd be happier single than with this person?



RetroGamer87
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19 Nov 2021, 4:22 am

You can always find someone better.


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