What do crushes feel like to you?

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Lost_dragon
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09 Apr 2021, 6:11 pm

I think there are different types that I experience.

The soft connection : Feeling warm, a sense of safety and comfort around them, as if I've known this person for years. Melting at their smile, their laugh and an urge to agree with them on things. Tripping over my words, forgetting what I was saying or how to speak when speaking to them, secretly wanting to be near them.

Shallow attractions : I may or may not know this person but I am incredibly physically attracted to them basically from the get go. This can happen with strangers but it can also happen with friends unexpectedly. It is quite an intense feeling with a desire to ask to kiss that person even though I don't even know them or usually don't see them that way. Feels like I'm being pulled towards them.

A mixture of soft and shallow : Oh no, no. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo is essentially my inner dialogue.

The casual unrequited : I know this person doesn't or won't like me that way, so I accept the crush as what it is and chances are onlookers would not pick up on anything. Completely casual and chill around them, just waiting for the crush to gradually fade.


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Danusaurus
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09 Apr 2021, 7:27 pm

Omg omg..

Like super awesome anxiety.. if that makes sense.
For example.. I once used to go to bed earlier just so I could see someone sooner the following day.



IsabellaLinton
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09 Apr 2021, 8:45 pm

I'm not good at explaining feelings because of alexithymia, but I know I have a crush when I start imagining scenarios that would likely never take place. I don't mean sexual, but just situations where I could be with the person and get to know them better. They usually involve music and late nights.



Texasmoneyman300
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10 Apr 2021, 4:10 am

The only thing i really experience from crushes is attraction and sometimes imagining going on dates with said woman or imagining talking to them.



nick007
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10 Apr 2021, 11:51 pm

I've only really had a crush on one person & she was a celebrity. Judging from the way I handled that, heavily crushing is hazardous to my health. I become obsessed with my romantic partners & I was obsessed with my crush as well. I was majorly daydreaming in some delusional fantasy(might of turned into a delusional disorder that I still have some) & I had major problems focusing on anything else. I couldn't pay attention to where I was going & would stumble & bump into things & fell a few times. I felt my heart skip beats literally sometimes & nearly fainted on more than a few occasions & I've experienced fainting a couple times. I felt like I was high a lot but I also got depressed at times & had some crying spells. It's a very good thing I got into a relationship when I did. I do love my girlfriend aLOT & am obsessed with her but I kinda still have the crush obsession with the celeb but very thankfully that's a bit milder than it was when I was single. It still causes me some distress but I kinda just live with that. Talking about it just goes in a loop for me & the psych meds I tried & am currently on are helping me to be more stable within my relationship & life in general but they don't seem to affect the crush obsession.


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Blue_Blake
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13 Apr 2021, 9:29 am

feeling a warmth about a certain person, seeing the best in them, wanting to remain at a distance but also wanting to help them and be there for them



Muse933277
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13 Apr 2021, 1:42 pm

The last time I had a major crush on a girl, it was in early 2015, and I was completely obsessed with this girl. I met this girl on February 25th of 2015 to be exact and she was my exact physical type; red hair, petite, skinny, and a cute face, so it wasn't too surprising that I instantly developed a deep obsession with her.

A little bit of backstory. At the time, I was 20 years old and a bit of a nerd, hadn't interacted with a girl my own age in 2 years, and had all the testosterone in the world flowing through me, so all of this likely contributed to my deep infatuation for this girl, despite barely even knowing her.


Long story short, she moved away after a 2 1/2 months and I never saw her again. The reason why I remember her is because after she left, all of a sudden, I had this extremely intense interest in women and made it my life mission to find a girlfriend. This girl was essentially the spark of a new era in my life; one where I took a greater interest in women and as a result, started taking my education and fitness more seriously.



nick007
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13 Apr 2021, 2:48 pm

Blue_Blake wrote:
feeling a warmth about a certain person, seeing the best in them, wanting to remain at a distance but also wanting to help them and be there for them
I get that as well with my crush. I would really love to just be her friend.


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Noam1515
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13 Apr 2021, 9:09 pm

For me, a crush is first of all nothing special. I can have a crush on a random girl on the street, and I wont be able to talk to her if I'm not in the right situation. Asking a girl out randomly from the street is nearly impossible, unless you're extremely skilled at this.
So, a crush should better happen when I'm in a situation where I can actually start a conversation with her without any frustration or being nervous about it.
This could be various places like where young people meet up, at clubs, bars, restaurants. But, it mostly happens when I'm at the circle of my friends / buddies. Its always easier when you do it with friends(or try to).
But, about what a crush feels like, it feels nothing special again, unless its going to bring results. When it does, it feels like I really have something special in my life finally. Like I have someone to share experiences with, talk to about interesting topics in our lives, and so on.
it also feels even better if the other person I have a crush with has a crush on me. That never happened to be honest, but if it would have happened, it would also make the relationship much easier.



HeroOfHyrule
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13 Apr 2021, 9:15 pm

Having alexithmyia makes it really hard to describe how having a crush feels. Every time one of my partners have asked me how I feel towards them I can't explain it at all. :?


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11 May 2021, 10:14 am

I would say fancying someone is like a dull feeling in my stomach. I look at them and I don't see their face I see sunshine, endless summers, water fountains etc. My heart races when I see them and I miss them when they are gone. When they leave I think oh I should have said this or that. I'll say that the next time I see them. But then I forget.
This alexithmyia makes sense to me now, I'd be flabbergasted as to what was going on, I didn't recognise the emotions I was having. But yeah this is certainly me too. I hope you all can start to measure you own emotions



Joe90
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11 May 2021, 6:03 pm

If I have a crush on a guy, it feels like "I'd like to date him/kiss him/get into bed with him". Basically it's sexual feelings.

If I have a crush on a woman it's NOT sexual feelings. It just feels like "I so badly want to be like her, be her best friend, look like her, she's so admirable".

Different feelings entirely.


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12 May 2021, 10:44 am

Have been pretty intense in the past, resulting in.. disappointment.

My current crush is different. It's very minor vs. intense - perhaps because I haven't seen them in a couple years and only chat online a bit & mostly send memes to entertain them during covid. I'm also 100% certain it's not reciprocated And this time I think it's easier to not be disappointed because I don't really have hopes/expectations that it'll ever turn into anything at all, so it's a bit easier to enjoy for the positive feelings it causes.

It'd be nice if an acceptance of a lack of reciprocation + not having hopes/expectations would carry on for future crushes; as then they'll all be more enjoyable than some in the past. 8)


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hurtloam
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12 May 2021, 12:09 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Having alexithmyia makes it really hard to describe how having a crush feels. Every time one of my partners have asked me how I feel towards them I can't explain it at all. :?


How do you know you like them then? And why do you date them? What motivates getting together with them?



hurtloam
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12 May 2021, 3:47 pm

Crushes to me feel like I really want to be around this guy and interact with him.

That's a big thing. I really can't be bothered with people most of the time.

A crush makes me feel energised after spending time with them. Other people drain me.



nick007
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15 May 2021, 11:20 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Crushes to me feel like I really want to be around this guy and interact with him.

That's a big thing. I really can't be bothered with people most of the time.

A crush makes me feel energised after spending time with them. Other people drain me.
I'm like this as well when I have a crush & when I love someone. My one real crush is/was so sever that I ended up falling in love with her & it's extremely difficult to see the difference between my crush feelings & my love feelings for her. The two are VERY blended together. I also felt like I had a crush on all 3 girlfriends I had when we got together & that lasted with my exes until the relationships fell apart which was about half a year later. I still majorly love them but I quit having the crush feelings for them when things ended. The love & crush feelings are still blended together for my current girlfriend as well as my one real crush. The crush is very painful. I can accept that things are over with both my exes & that we are much better off not in each other's lives because I torched those bridges when things ended. I think on a subconscious level I knew it would be easier for me to move on knowing that we were both better off not in each other's lives. Whereas my crush literally does not know I even exist. There was no history between us so I have no torched bridge to look back on. "If we were both single & I figured out a way to meet her & become her friend..." It hangs over my head but then again having the guilt over screwing up both relationships with my exes does as well. At this point I'm gonna be feeling emotional pain for the rest of my life no matter what I do or not do or what happens & what does not happen. All I can realistically do is trying to not screw up with my current relationship. I could maybe also find healthier ways to deal with & manage all the guilt & pain. Binge-eating & letting myself go physically is NOT good for me. I'm NOT sure I can find healthier ways to cope though. Those ways are aLOT better than some of the stuff I've had urges to do that I've always resisted & always will.


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