nick007 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Crushes to me feel like I really want to be around this guy and interact with him.
That's a big thing. I really can't be bothered with people most of the time.
A crush makes me feel energised after spending time with them. Other people drain me.
I'm like this as well when I have a crush & when I love someone. My one real crush is/was so sever that I ended up falling in love with her & it's extremely difficult to see the difference between my crush feelings & my love feelings for her. The two are VERY blended together. I also felt like I had a crush on all 3 girlfriends I had when we got together & that lasted with my exes until the relationships fell apart which was about half a year later. I still majorly love them but I quit having the crush feelings for them when things ended. The love & crush feelings are still blended together for my current girlfriend as well as my one real crush. The crush is very painful. I can accept that things are over with both my exes & that we are much better off not in each other's lives because I torched those bridges when things ended. I think on a subconscious level I knew it would be easier for me to move on knowing that we were both better off not in each other's lives. Whereas my crush literally does not know I even exist. There was no history between us so I have no torched bridge to look back on.
"If we were both single & I figured out a way to meet her & become her friend..." It hangs over my head but then again having the guilt over screwing up both relationships with my exes does as well. At this point I'm gonna be feeling emotional pain for the rest of my life no matter what I do or not do or what happens & what does not happen. All I can realistically do is trying to not screw up with my current relationship. I could maybe also find healthier ways to deal with & manage all the guilt & pain. Binge-eating & letting myself go physically is NOT good for me. I'm NOT sure I can find healthier ways to cope though. Those ways are aLOT better than some of the stuff I've had urges to do that I've always resisted & always will.
I suffer from crushes too. Chatted with one lady with a lovely voice over the phone last week and felt euphoric at how well it went. Afterward in my imagination, I was already moving her in to my house...and planning all kinds of future dates. At work during idle moments, I researched on Google Maps and made a list of 5 different places we could go for dates in a nearby town, beginning with a museum. I had a 4-6 hour date planned out, first a museum, then a coffee shop, then one of three restaurants depending on what kind of cuisine she preferred...
Called her up the next day... and she complained about the distance, told me she hated museums and history, didn't want to go on a date, but told me we could talk on the phone again this weekend.
I was really disappointed that she said she didn't like history, because I'm all about history. It did not sound like we had much in common, either. No clue why I crushed on her. It seems unfathomable, and she is not even that attractive, other guys be like, "What, her?!" She's different from me in a lot of ways...
Not really up for phone call number three... I think she was just being nice telling me that. Basically, she said "No, I don't want to go out with you, but if you want you can call me on the phone."
There is a powerful fear of rejection that arises where a crush is a concerned. I did not call her. Right now I am just waiting for it to die. Give it two weeks, it will be gone. I will be like, "Suzy WHO?" Praying for that day to get here fast...
16 May 2021, 2:52 pm
