Most men here cant get women because they lack confidence
Same here.
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I think that the "lack of confidence" used in the context of this thread implies a general self-pitying attitude regarding one's inability to get a date. In essence, a person who is convinced of his or her unworthiness as dating material lacks confidence, while a person who is shy simply has better things to do than worry about his or her attractiveness.
For instance, I used to lack confidence (e.g., feel sorry for myself) until I stopped comparing myself to other people and worrying about what they thought of me, which is also when I seemed to start being attractive to women.
Coincidence? That is doubtful.
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<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
But how does that "Golden Mean" go? "The happy middle between the extremes of deficiency and excess", right?
So, deficiency would be self-pity, while excess would be prideful arrogance.
Sadly, most people can recognize only these two extremes, and will mistake the middle for one of the two opposites.
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I think both of the extremes are founded in one's insecurity about themself.
The golden mean is overcoming this insecurity and being able to acknowledge both the good and the bad (and the ugly ) about oneself.
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<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
The_Face_of_Boo
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This isn't pseudoscience. This is called reality and time tested wisdom.
No, all this alpha, beta, gamma crap is based on a debunked understanding of wolf social interaction. It's inaccurate and misleading about that species and even more so when applied to humans.
I'm a nerdy introvert, useless at socializing, and yet have never lacked for female companionship--and often had more than I've wanted.
While it's true that desperation and negativity are turn-offs to women, there's no need to bring all this Greek alphabet nonsense into the discussion.
No, the alpha/beta thing exist in primates; it is debunked for wolves only.
Gorillas and chimps certainly have it.
Check it out.
And humans are closer to chimps than to wolves, wolves are socially egalitarian.
Your knowledge in that is so outdated.
The concept was first applied to wolves, then later to chimps. But humans are equally close to chimps and bonobos, which do not have such a social structure. And human social organization (outside the military) is obviously not a simple ladder-like hierarchy like chimps' superficially appears to be. (But also actually isn't either. Lower-ranking male chimps often get more sex than the alpha.)
Think again before you call someone else's knowledge outdated.
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nick007
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When I was single people very often assumed that I had low self-esteem but I actually did have some self-confidence & had low-esteem of others. I knew I had aLOT more than my fair share of flaws & issues but I also knew I had some strong points too. However I knew from experience that lots of others would NOT give me a real chance to prove myself to them. I was very lonely & desperate for a relationship but I sought out women that were also lonely & desperate & who had self-confidence issues. My personality within a relationship is kinda opposite of the stereotypical Aspie guy. I don't need or want a ton of space & alone time within a romantic relationship. One of my biggest relationship strengths is being supportive of others who have issues. I'm the kinda person that others would turn to when they were having a bad day. Sometimes those types of people can be more accepting, understanding, & supportive of someone who has issues than independent people are. That approach eventually worked out for me but I was single & looking for 8 years straight. I tried putting myself out there in various ways & I did not limit my search to women who were dependent & had issues. I did my best to improve my life situation as well but having various multiple physical & mental disabilities majorly limits me with employment & some aspects of independent living. My area had very little supports & services for people who were disabled & trying to better themselves. I NEVER expected a woman to magically fix me & my situation or to take care of me like lots of others assumed I did. I was wanting someone I could be myself with & spend time with. I wanted someone I could turn to when I was having a bad day & needed a distraction or to talk things over with. I very well knew that change had to come from within & you can only help someone who wants to help themselves. I just needed a rock I could turn to that would help motivate me to keep trying.
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One thing I'm confident in is the wisdom to know that this system is total nonsense.
I agree with you 100%. All of that is nonsense and the world is no longer like that.
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funeralxempire
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Honestly the people on WP seem quite dense. How the hell did a simple post about being confident and sure of oneself as an attractive quality get dumped on as some outdated sexist, alpha male chauvinistic manifesto, with Greek alphabet garbage I never implied, being assuming I'm telling men how to act, etc.
Literally the post was as simple as the people always complaining about not getting women to like them are repulsing them with insecurity and desperation. Literally thats it. How such a simple and true statement got butchered and misconstrued by the cantankerous and butthurt on this website makes me weep for the reading comprehension on this forum.
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nick007
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"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
It's more like salad is new to the idea of not typecasting people. I don't feel the need to get ahead by acting any one certain way.
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Literally the post was as simple as the people always complaining about not getting women to like them are repulsing them with insecurity and desperation. Literally thats it. How such a simple and true statement got butchered and misconstrued by the cantankerous and butthurt on this website makes me weep for the reading comprehension on this forum.
We all like to make simple things more complicated than they really are
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