Women Are Rarely Direct With You About Not Being Interested

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cberg
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04 May 2021, 8:54 pm

Social darwinism is not a sexy philosophy for anybody. :roll:

Women are not protein chain resequencing machines DNA testing everyone they meet.

For that matter, guys are rarely direct about these things either, unless they're the aggressive morons this thread is talking about. Dudes don't want to hurt your feelings either, this is a two-way street.

I'm so tired of these threads insisting on what people do & don't deserve as a question of unwritten rules & quantifying white lies.


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04 May 2021, 9:13 pm

cberg wrote:
Social darwinism is not a sexy philosophy for anybody. :roll:

Women are not protein chain resequencing machines DNA testing everyone they meet.

For that matter, guys are rarely direct about these things either, unless they're the aggressive morons this thread is talking about. Dudes don't want to hurt your feelings either, this is a two-way street.

I'm so tired of these threads insisting on what people do & don't deserve as a question of unwritten rules & quantifying white lies.


Shoot wrong thread. My bad. ignore what I just said


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05 May 2021, 5:30 am

nick007 wrote:
Perhaps it would help us dense guys get the hint if the women would flash an engagement ring :lol: :arrow:



I like a big, fat engagement ring with a Rock on it. That will catch my eye and save me the pain of missing out on what could otherwise be a useful acquaintance / friendship. I do salvage. If love ain't in the cards, hey, I need friends.

I was saddened last weekend because I asked out a woman that really caught my eye. I felt so nervous. Then she informs me that she is married. :oops:

I see no way to recover from that transaction. I have to stay away now or otherwise there is just trouble IMHO. If I had just seen a ring on a finger, something really eye-catching, then maybe I could have been more subdued and just exchanged information and made conversation... and she could have introduced me to one of her friends...


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Gentleman Argentum
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05 May 2021, 5:33 am

cberg wrote:
Social darwinism is not a sexy philosophy for anybody. :roll:

Women are not protein chain resequencing machines DNA testing everyone they meet.

For that matter, guys are rarely direct about these things either, unless they're the aggressive morons this thread is talking about. Dudes don't want to hurt your feelings either, this is a two-way street.

I'm so tired of these threads insisting on what people do & don't deserve as a question of unwritten rules & quantifying white lies.


What do you expect in Aspy culture man, we live by rules and systems

I think the thread is useful, because the natural thing for me at least was to suppose that a woman I was interested in, also felt likewise about me. This turned out to be an incorrect or inadequate assumption in some cases.

If the gist of the OP's message is to encourage reserve, skepticism and hesitancy on the part of Aspy guys then I think it is a message much-needed.


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05 May 2021, 5:34 am

I live in a very sexist and conservative country but just wanted to share my thoughts, it might resonate with someone who lives in America and West too maybe. Women i know are mostly raised as being people pleasers by their parents. I know a lot of women who prioritize other's needs before their own, who are very much scared of hurting the people they care about and just have trouble saying no in general.

These women are not having fun "leading people on". They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it. They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case. Violence against women who want to divorce /break up are very common in my country. I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.

As for me, i also have trouble saying no to people i am not interested in because i don't understand my feelings well and care about the other person as a friend and don't want to lose them. I also don't want to hurt other people's feelings but i don't want to seem like a cold person either. So it is not like i am having fun playing with people's feelings or hurting them. Emotions are complicated, relationships are very complicated and navigating them is hard for everyone.



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05 May 2021, 5:54 am

Gentleman Argentum wrote:
I was saddened last weekend because I asked out a woman that really caught my eye. I felt so nervous. Then she informs me that she is married. :oops:

I see no way to recover from that transaction. I have to stay away now or otherwise there is just trouble IMHO. If I had just seen a ring on a finger, something really eye-catching, then maybe I could have been more subdued and just exchanged information and made conversation... and she could have introduced me to one of her friends...
When I ask out a woman who I quickly find out is married, I react to it like I would to stepping in dog poop: a messy but mostly honest mistake. I put on a sheepish look, say "oh ok, sorry, I'm sure your husband is a good man", and promptly and politely exit the situation.

Also, the ex post facto clause applies. In other words, I'm not at fault for pursuing a taken woman if I didn't know it at the time and she didn't tell me. That happened on a cruise in the fall of 2019, a few months before the Election Infection. I met a woman onboard, and we flirted massively! We exchanged Facebook contacts before debarkation. I learned from her profile that she was engaged. Oops! :oops:

AprilR wrote:
These women are not having fun "leading people on". They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it. They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case. Violence against women who want to divorce /break up are very common in my country. I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.
That's very untrue in America. Women initiate 70% to 90% of the divorces here, and they make a handsome profit from them. A woman get the house, the car,the kids, the family pets, the child support, the alimony, and 50% of her husband's money in the bank. A man ends living in poverty, in a crappy apartment (UK: flat) in a rough neighborhood, and still paying the alimony and the child support. All because his ex-wife stopped feeling attracted to him. Granted, there are legitimately necessary divorces, but most are frivolous.



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05 May 2021, 7:46 am

Aspie1 wrote:
Gentleman Argentum wrote:
I was saddened last weekend because I asked out a woman that really caught my eye. I felt so nervous. Then she informs me that she is married. :oops:

I see no way to recover from that transaction. I have to stay away now or otherwise there is just trouble IMHO. If I had just seen a ring on a finger, something really eye-catching, then maybe I could have been more subdued and just exchanged information and made conversation... and she could have introduced me to one of her friends...
When I ask out a woman who I quickly find out is married, I react to it like I would to stepping in dog poop: a messy but mostly honest mistake. I put on a sheepish look, say "oh ok, sorry, I'm sure your husband is a good man", and promptly and politely exit the situation.

Also, the ex post facto clause applies. In other words, I'm not at fault for pursuing a taken woman if I didn't know it at the time and she didn't tell me. That happened on a cruise in the fall of 2019, a few months before the Election Infection. I met a woman onboard, and we flirted massively! We exchanged Facebook contacts before debarkation. I learned from her profile that she was engaged. Oops! :oops:

AprilR wrote:
These women are not having fun "leading people on". They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it. They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case. Violence against women who want to divorce /break up are very common in my country. I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.
That's very untrue in America. Women initiate 70% to 90% of the divorces here, and they make a handsome profit from them. A woman get the house, the car,the kids, the family pets, the child support, the alimony, and 50% of her husband's money in the bank. A man ends living in poverty, in a crappy apartment (UK: flat) in a rough neighborhood, and still paying the alimony and the child support. All because his ex-wife stopped feeling attracted to him. Granted, there are legitimately necessary divorces, but most are frivolous.


Don't they split all assets equally? like half of the house value, half of the cars' value...?

What will happen to Bill Gates? 8O



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05 May 2021, 7:50 am

AprilR wrote:
I live in a very sexist and conservative country but just wanted to share my thoughts, it might resonate with someone who lives in America and West too maybe. Women i know are mostly raised as being people pleasers by their parents. I know a lot of women who prioritize other's needs before their own, who are very much scared of hurting the people they care about and just have trouble saying no in general.

These women are not having fun "leading people on". They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it. They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case. Violence against women who want to divorce /break up are very common in my country. I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.

As for me, i also have trouble saying no to people i am not interested in because i don't understand my feelings well and care about the other person as a friend and don't want to lose them. I also don't want to hurt other people's feelings but i don't want to seem like a cold person either. So it is not like i am having fun playing with people's feelings or hurting them. Emotions are complicated, relationships are very complicated and navigating them is hard for everyone.



Are you Middle Eastern by any chance?



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05 May 2021, 8:10 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I live in a very sexist and conservative country but just wanted to share my thoughts, it might resonate with someone who lives in America and West too maybe. Women i know are mostly raised as being people pleasers by their parents. I know a lot of women who prioritize other's needs before their own, who are very much scared of hurting the people they care about and just have trouble saying no in general.

These women are not having fun "leading people on". They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it. They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case. Violence against women who want to divorce /break up are very common in my country. I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.

As for me, i also have trouble saying no to people i am not interested in because i don't understand my feelings well and care about the other person as a friend and don't want to lose them. I also don't want to hurt other people's feelings but i don't want to seem like a cold person either. So it is not like i am having fun playing with people's feelings or hurting them. Emotions are complicated, relationships are very complicated and navigating them is hard for everyone.



Are you Middle Eastern by any chance?


I am indeed lol. I forgot to mention that women showing interest and being direct is also not common here since it gives off the image that the woman is "easy" whatever that means.



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05 May 2021, 8:13 am

AprilR wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I live in a very sexist and conservative country but just wanted to share my thoughts, it might resonate with someone who lives in America and West too maybe. Women i know are mostly raised as being people pleasers by their parents. I know a lot of women who prioritize other's needs before their own, who are very much scared of hurting the people they care about and just have trouble saying no in general.

These women are not having fun "leading people on". They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it. They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case. Violence against women who want to divorce /break up are very common in my country. I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.

As for me, i also have trouble saying no to people i am not interested in because i don't understand my feelings well and care about the other person as a friend and don't want to lose them. I also don't want to hurt other people's feelings but i don't want to seem like a cold person either. So it is not like i am having fun playing with people's feelings or hurting them. Emotions are complicated, relationships are very complicated and navigating them is hard for everyone.



Are you Middle Eastern by any chance?


I am indeed lol. I forgot to mention that women showing interest and being direct is also not common here since it gives off the image that the woman is "easy" whatever that means.


I bet Gulfian or Jordanian.



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05 May 2021, 8:14 am

AprilR wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I live in a very sexist and conservative country but just wanted to share my thoughts, it might resonate with someone who lives in America and West too maybe.  Women i know are mostly raised as being people pleasers by their parents.  I know a lot of women who prioritize other's needs before their own, who are very much scared of hurting the people they care about and just have trouble saying no in general.  These women are not having fun "leading people on".  They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it.  They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case.  Violence against women who want to divorce/break up are very common in my country.  I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.  As for me, i also have trouble saying no to people i am not interested in because i don't understand my feelings well and care about the other person as a friend and don't want to lose them.  I also don't want to hurt other people's feelings but i don't want to seem like a cold person either.  So it is not like I am having fun playing with people's feelings or hurting them.  Emotions are complicated, relationships are very complicated and navigating them is hard for everyone.
Are you Middle Eastern by any chance?
I am indeed lol.  I forgot to mention that women showing interest and being direct is also considered slu*ty here.
Sharia Law?  Where women can be put to death for being raped?


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J e s s i c a
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05 May 2021, 8:18 am

Fnord wrote:
AprilR wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I live in a very sexist and conservative country but just wanted to share my thoughts, it might resonate with someone who lives in America and West too maybe.  Women i know are mostly raised as being people pleasers by their parents.  I know a lot of women who prioritize other's needs before their own, who are very much scared of hurting the people they care about and just have trouble saying no in general.  These women are not having fun "leading people on".  They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it.  They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case.  Violence against women who want to divorce/break up are very common in my country.  I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.  As for me, i also have trouble saying no to people i am not interested in because i don't understand my feelings well and care about the other person as a friend and don't want to lose them.  I also don't want to hurt other people's feelings but i don't want to seem like a cold person either.  So it is not like I am having fun playing with people's feelings or hurting them.  Emotions are complicated, relationships are very complicated and navigating them is hard for everyone.
Are you Middle Eastern by any chance?
I am indeed lol.  I forgot to mention that women showing interest and being direct is also considered slu*ty here.
Sharia Law?  Where women can be put to death for being raped?


That's very bigoted of you.



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05 May 2021, 8:20 am

Btw, sex before marriage in UAE is now legal, and they legalized abortion.

https://www.irinsider.org/middle-east-n ... eedom-laws



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 05 May 2021, 8:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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05 May 2021, 8:20 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Don't they split all assets equally? like half of the house value, half of the cars' value...?

What will happen to Bill Gates? 8O
Not really. Most divorce judges in the US are feminists, including men. So the wife usually gets awarded everything, and the husband gets screwed. Unless, of course, he can find a strong lawyer to fight for him. But lawyers are very expensive, which adds insult to the injury when you're about to instantly lose almost everything you worked for.

As for Bill Gates, he has easy access to elite lawyers, the kind with possible connections to the US Supreme Court. They'll fight hard for him, I'm sure. But us working riffraff can't even fantasize about hiring them.



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05 May 2021, 8:23 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
AprilR wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I live in a very sexist and conservative country but just wanted to share my thoughts, it might resonate with someone who lives in America and West too maybe. Women i know are mostly raised as being people pleasers by their parents. I know a lot of women who prioritize other's needs before their own, who are very much scared of hurting the people they care about and just have trouble saying no in general.

These women are not having fun "leading people on". They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it. They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case. Violence against women who want to divorce /break up are very common in my country. I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.

As for me, i also have trouble saying no to people i am not interested in because i don't understand my feelings well and care about the other person as a friend and don't want to lose them. I also don't want to hurt other people's feelings but i don't want to seem like a cold person either. So it is not like i am having fun playing with people's feelings or hurting them. Emotions are complicated, relationships are very complicated and navigating them is hard for everyone.



Are you Middle Eastern by any chance?


I am indeed lol. I forgot to mention that women showing interest and being direct is also not common here since it gives off the image that the woman is "easy" whatever that means.


I bet Gulfian or Jordanian.


Nope, i am Turkish.

@Fnord: Thankfully not, our legal codes are adapted from German and Swiss law.



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05 May 2021, 8:26 am

J e s s i c a wrote:
Fnord wrote:
AprilR wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I live in a very sexist and conservative country but just wanted to share my thoughts, it might resonate with someone who lives in America and West too maybe.  Women i know are mostly raised as being people pleasers by their parents.  I know a lot of women who prioritize other's needs before their own, who are very much scared of hurting the people they care about and just have trouble saying no in general.  These women are not having fun "leading people on".  They might just be scared of saying no because they are not used to it.  They might be scared of being tracked down, assaulted and raped in the worst case.  Violence against women who want to divorce/break up are very common in my country.  I don't think it is completely unheard of in America or the West either.  As for me, i also have trouble saying no to people i am not interested in because i don't understand my feelings well and care about the other person as a friend and don't want to lose them.  I also don't want to hurt other people's feelings but i don't want to seem like a cold person either.  So it is not like I am having fun playing with people's feelings or hurting them.  Emotions are complicated, relationships are very complicated and navigating them is hard for everyone.
Are you Middle Eastern by any chance?
I am indeed lol.  I forgot to mention that women showing interest and being direct is also considered slu*ty here.
Sharia Law?  Where women can be put to death for being raped?
That's very bigoted of you.
You need not look far to see the truth.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/worl ... 25164.html

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10 ... 9908536496

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-44076942

https://www.nytimes.com/2002/05/17/worl ... inals.html

According to Hina Jilani, a lawyer working for women's rights, "If a woman is raped but has no evidence to prove it, the very fact that she had admitted to the sexual act may lead to her own prosecution for adultery or fornication (e.g., "Zina").  Eighteen-year-old Sana Bibi was a servant in a wealthy, landed family.  She was raped regularly by the man of the house and his son and eventually became pregnant.  Her father lodged a suit for rape but, for want of evidence, the court acquitted the rapists and convicted Safia Biba of zina.

Under Sharia Law, punishing a rape victim for adultery or fornication happens.


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