Ugly Guys Who Are Successful With Women

Page 2 of 6 [ 85 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

04 Sep 2021, 1:27 am

Fnord wrote:
It does not take wealth alone to make a man attractive, but it certainly takes more than looks alone.  It is enough for an ordinary man to attract long-term romantic interest if he earns a salary that covers his expenses and allows for a moderate amount of recreational/social activity.  There are other factors, of course.


An ugly man who has bugger all to offer in a child-producing type of relationship isn't going to be a "chick magnet".



The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,757

04 Sep 2021, 1:49 am

A multitude of factors collide together to influence one's dating success. People who are considered ugly by conventional beauty standards can find a partner if they meet somebody who values other qualities or attributes they possess enough to overlook a lack of physical attraction. Alternatively, they can find somebody who's about as attractive as they are, or perhaps they can find somebody with unique physical preferences that they can appeal to.

I think for the majority of people, if you look after your hygiene, appearance and body, it's going to be possible to find somebody who'll find you attractive, or at least attractive enough to consider dating so long as you have other traits they're interested in.

I think it's harder for autistic people to find partners and get into relationships, largely because of social skill difficulties and our differences to the general population. If you break down the word "relationship", you get the word "relate", and essentially a relationship is all about finding someone who you relate to. It's harder to find people you can more easily relate to when you're in the neurological minority.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,125
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

04 Sep 2021, 3:06 am

Minervx_2 wrote:
Your example of Carl is very inspiring.

Muse933277 wrote:
1) he was very personable and had many friends.
2) If he liked a girl, he would almost always walk up to her and try to get her number.


Both of these points are important. You need to put yourself out there. People meet other people through mutual friends. Going to social events and knowing people gives you more opportunities.

Even if an less attractive person has a lower success rate than an average, if they put themselves out there a lot and talk to women, they'll get more dates than a better looking person who is shy or not very social.

A person with a 15% success rate who meets 100 women will have more dates than someone with a 30% success rate who only meets 5 women.
Good point but I'm gonna point out that it is quite possible to regularly put yourself out there but have few friends & there is also such a thing as being too personal. I've seen more than a few guys on this forum over the years who struggled majorly to get women even though they put themselves out there quite a lot & they tried talking to people. One time when I was complaining about being single on another forum, I was getting told the typical clueshay stuff about putting myself out there & trying to network more & a member on that forum said~ "I don't think Nick's main problem is meeting women & trying to talk to them. His problem is the way he goes about it. I think Nick acts too desperate & gives off a very negative vibe & that creeps women out."


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

04 Sep 2021, 3:11 am

Carl sounds suspiciously like my friend's Dad. Do we know each other?

I'm only joking. But yes, I know someone like Carl too. He had a cool hairdo, and mustache in the 80s and a cool leather jacket. But not the tallest or most handsome young man.

He's good at talking to people. He takes an interest. He really should have been a salesman.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,125
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

04 Sep 2021, 4:18 am

hurtloam wrote:
Carl sounds suspiciously like my friend's Dad. Do we know each other?

I'm only joking. But yes, I know someone like Carl too. He had a cool hairdo, and mustache in the 80s and a cool leather jacket. But not the tallest or most handsome young man.

He's good at talking to people. He takes an interest. He really should have been a salesman.
I think that's the major difference between physically unattractive people who are very successful with getting dates & relationships vs Aspies who majorly struggle despite trying their very best. Us Aspies can majorly lack the needed social skills & it's quite possible for us to meet lots of people but still majorly struggle due to our bad social skills. For example there is an Aspie on this forum who regularly goes to bars & interacts with people but he struggles majorly & gets into trouble with the bars instead of getting dates. I'd bet that most of the people on this forum who struggle with getting relationships & dates do so mostly because of their Aspergers or other comorbids instead of them being physically unattractive so therefor the advice meant for the physically unattractive is irrelevant for a lot of us.
Also I generally do not like to use terms like Ugly or Physically Unattractive. Those terms can be very insulting & relative.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


ezbzbfcg2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,936
Location: New Jersey, USA

04 Sep 2021, 4:37 am

The OP's posts read like some self-help website, with generic, anecdotal stories; doesn't sound like any of these folks are real people in the OP's life. All we need now is the link to buy a subscription to whatever plan that's being offered.

I know it's good to think positive, but don't believe everything you read. If there's one thing Aspies are stereotypically good at, it's commitment to reality, not rosy groupthink.



XFilesGeek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,031
Location: The Oort Cloud

04 Sep 2021, 7:14 am

I am committed to reality, and the reality is most people are average-looking and will end up with other average-looking people. All I have ro do to confirm this is scroll through my Facebook friends' pages.

If you want to believe that only super model-like men can get into relationships, and use that as a way to make yourself feel better, great, cool, but that has little enough to do with "reality."


_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."

-XFG (no longer a moderator)


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

04 Sep 2021, 7:17 am

I find average-looking women sexy—and really don’t find some model types all that attractive.



ezbzbfcg2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,936
Location: New Jersey, USA

04 Sep 2021, 7:29 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
I am committed to reality, and the reality is most people are average-looking and will end up with other average-looking people. All I have ro do to confirm this is scroll through my Facebook friends' pages.

I agree.

XFilesGeek wrote:
If you want to believe that only super model-like men can get into relationships, and use that as a way to make yourself feel better, great, cool, but that has little enough to do with "reality."

That's not what I believe or want to believe. Where do you get this crap from? The OP gave a bunch of anecdotes about ugly men...or men he thinks are ugly (they may not actually be ugly in the eyes of most women). Regardless, the OP himself never said anything about men he'd describe as "average." And no one mentioned super models but you.

For someone allegedly grounded in reality, you make some outlandish assumptions and like to put words in the mouths of others.

When the hell did I ever say only super model men can get women? What I said was that the OP's writings all sound like feel-good fluff. Not genuine. Not actual experiences or real people. This thread reads like an ad. And yet people believe because they want to believe. This is like watching P.T. Barnum in action.



shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,749

04 Sep 2021, 8:57 am

Beauty in the eye of the beholder

However, some people that are not conventionally attractive, earn a lot of cash or are good at sex, or date other unattractive people



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

04 Sep 2021, 4:37 pm

^ you mean the beer holder.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,880
Location: Stendec

04 Sep 2021, 4:51 pm

Image

Image



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

04 Sep 2021, 7:57 pm

Strangely money has the same effect on women.....a little bit like beer on men.

Image



Muse933277
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Mar 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 793

04 Sep 2021, 8:14 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Beauty in the eye of the beholder




No, beauty is mostly objective with a little bit of subjectivity.

Most people would agree that Margot Robbie is way more conventionally attractive than Danny Devito, or that Chris Hemsworth is more physically attractive compared to Jack Black, that's objective attractiveness. In fact, there are universal traits that are considered attractive throughout the world such as facial symmetry, tall height (in the case of men), being physically fit, and facial features that are close to the golden ratio. If you take most film stars and models, their face matches the golden ratio fairly closely. In fact, oftentimes the farther you deviate from the golden ratio, the less attractive you are perceived to be.


Yes, some men prefer blondes over brunettes, or have a preference for specific races of girls, or like girls with big butts, this is subjective attractiveness. But for the most part, a lot of what is considered beautiful is objective



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

05 Sep 2021, 2:07 am

hurtloam wrote:
Carl sounds suspiciously like my friend's Dad. Do we know each other?

I'm only joking. But yes, I know someone like Carl too. He had a cool hairdo, and mustache in the 80s and a cool leather jacket. But not the tallest or most handsome young man.

He's good at talking to people. He takes an interest. He really should have been a salesman.


But he wasn't *UGLY*, right? :wink:



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

05 Sep 2021, 2:10 am

nick007 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Carl sounds suspiciously like my friend's Dad. Do we know each other?

I'm only joking. But yes, I know someone like Carl too. He had a cool hairdo, and mustache in the 80s and a cool leather jacket. But not the tallest or most handsome young man.

He's good at talking to people. He takes an interest. He really should have been a salesman.
I think that's the major difference between physically unattractive people who are very successful with getting dates & relationships vs Aspies who majorly struggle despite trying their very best. Us Aspies can majorly lack the needed social skills & it's quite possible for us to meet lots of people but still majorly struggle due to our bad social skills. For example there is an Aspie on this forum who regularly goes to bars & interacts with people but he struggles majorly & gets into trouble with the bars instead of getting dates. I'd bet that most of the people on this forum who struggle with getting relationships & dates do so mostly because of their Aspergers or other comorbids instead of them being physically unattractive so therefor the advice meant for the physically unattractive is irrelevant for a lot of us.
Also I generally do not like to use terms like Ugly or Physically Unattractive. Those terms can be very insulting & relative.


My understanding is the context of this thread *was* about men who are "Ugly or Physically Unattractive". 8)

Nothing about skunks, however. :mrgreen: