Too Many Men

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I’m on Badoo dating site, 4 guys want to talk to me, I wish all of them wasn’t online. 4 can be too many.

The ratio of males to females isn't even. There are way more men on these dating sites than women. That means for every one woman, there are handful of men. If you're a woman, anticipate a bunch of men trying to contact you.

Try talking to only one at a time.

Use bots.

Man: Hi
Bot: Hi, how are you doing?
Man: I am good, you?
Bot: I am good too, I am bored, wanna see my video on instagram?
Bot: <link>

Just pick one you like the best.

I did, we are talking on WhatsApp, I really like him, we met 8 days ago, he’s doctor & young. I don’t know what to say to the other guys.

What makes you attracted to the doctor?I have been in the medical industry all my life and alot of doctors get divorced multiple times and doctors are not financially stable

I really like him, he’s very attractive, handsome, I feel very good talking to him. Why doctors get divorced? I thought doctors make pretty good money.

I think the hours can be difficult on family life, and having to be on-call. Depending on how the doctor is employed, the spouse might often find themselves playing second fiddle to a patient crisis. Some women can handle that, some can't.

I know many successfully married doctors. I also know divorced doctors. There is no one-size fits all assumption to be made.

The doctors I know all do well financially, some extremely well, others more middling. Doctors in private practice are subject to the same difficulties any small business owner is. Small business owners often underestimate how vital the administrative side of the business is, and how many hours of their time it can require. The ability to run the administrative side wisely can make or break any small business, and private medical practices have been known to go bankrupt.

Oh, and there is potential they have crushing student loans from medical school ...

But, mostly, I don't think you should pick your man based on what you think of his financial prospects. There is more to life than money. It can be difficult when there are not shared values about how to handle financial issues, but in those cases keeping everything legally separate can be considered. Where there is a will, there is a way. If things get serious, you can dig into all these questions and decide what to do.

As for the other men, I think you can tell them that you have received promising messages from multiple men, are only comfortable exploring one potential relationship at a time, had already started having conversations with someone else, and feel it is only fair to see what the potential there is first. Tell them if it doesn't work out, you will get back in touch to see if they are still available or interested.

Well doctors tend to make great money but they are not good at keeping it becaus they have so much debt like student loans, sports cars,big mortgages and stuff like that.

Yeah....and malpractice insurance.

Doctors are responsible for a lot. It's a very pressurized profession these days.

When it comes to dating, unless you are exclusively dating someone, it's not wise to only talk and go on dates with one person and put all of your eggs into one basket. If you have options (which it seems like you do), then you should DEFINITELY take advantage of it.


Why? Because the more people you text and go on dates with, the greater the chance that not only will you find someone who's right for you, but if you get rejected or ghosted by one of them, you still have other options to choose from. The biggest mistake you can make is only pursue one person, that's setting yourself up for disaster.


I do agree that you should definitely limit the number of people you text and date though, but initially, you should definitely be texting and going on dates with more than 1 person. I would say the ideal number of people would be 4 or 5 people otherwise it gets exhausting. Gradually, some of these people are going to fall off as the weeks go by, they may not be interested in you, you may not be interested in them etc... But the chances of one of these guys working out is pretty high if you're initially talking and going on dates with at least 4 or 5 guys.


So in a nutshell, don't limit yourself to just one person.

I'm not convinced I agree. I understand your reasoning, but there are no one-size fits all answers when it comes to dating, and some men get really uncomfortable realizing that, even though it was early and nothing was officially exclusive, there were other men in the mix. The negative feelings it triggers can jeopardize the relationship. The best answer is for her to pursue the potential relationships in the way that makes her feel the most comfortable. If that approach blows up, she will have the comfort of knowing she was true to herself.

Just send the orcish army after them.

A couple reasons you didn't mention for docs getting divorced are Alimony & Child Support. Basically some women marry for money & are not invested in making the relationship work after since they believe they could get half in a divorce. There are plenty of women who are not like that but some are.

I like your advice about telling the guys I really value directness & straightforwardness in women but I am an Apie guy after all

Only four? Must be a slow day. Online dating sites always have huge wolf packs.