Enjoy being single?

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Do you workout regularly?
Do you have enough direct sunlight every day?
Do you eat healthy food?
Do you regularly spend time just breathing fresh air, looking at trees, grass, water, animals?

OK, what about the rest of this list?

Again, your mindset is really stupid. I'm not trying to win an argument, these questions are not to challenge your argument or to shame you or whatever, this is mental health checklist. That's it.

^^^^^
Having done both (awful job and wonderful job, and awful relationship and wonderful relationship) I 1,000% agree with this.

I understand where you're coming from, but none of that negates that there are far more relevant direct causes for why I am miserable. Exercise and healthy diet are only relevant if more immediate social and financial struggles are not present. All the research that concluded the importance of exercise and healthy eating was conducted on NTs with thriving social lives, and failed to take into consideration the effects of NDs' struggles that the rest of the world is largely oblivious to.

I repeat, you have cause and effect reversed.

Things from this list are pretty much only direct causes that are always 100% relevant. Other factors are relevant only when all these basic needs are consistently fully covered. Your brain physically can't create positive emotions, motivation and see the bright side if you don't consume all precursors for serotonin, for example, in your food and don't meet all the requirements for its synthesis in the brain.

If you don't cover even one of these needs, if even one link of this chain is missing, you supposed to feel miserable, hopeless and unable to solve your immediate social and financial struggles no matter what, it pretty much guarantees you will always have something to feel miserable and hopeless about.

I'll back up that what badrobot is saying is largely true and isn't just pulling it out thin air.

If I were to add something, it's that once you are giving yourself the self care that is needed, active work at trying to change thought patterns is another essential piece to 'feeling better'. A person's entire being has to be treated when it comes to healing/improvement. All of this involves discipline and a belief that you actually deserve what you're working for.

Healthier people, rather people with healthier minds view and handle the world differently than a depressed one does. So when something bad happens the depressed mind is going to take it harder and sink, where the healthier mind is able to cope better and rebound far more effectively. Thus the 'miserably' of the event/situation is lessened. To say "these are the things that are making me miserable" is to give all power entirely to those things and surrender any responsibility of self; victimizing.

Another thing I'd note is...not everyone is happy all the time. Everybody goes through highs and lows, worries about money/love life and so on. Disappointment, pain, struggle/hardship etc are part of life and are important for maintaining balance. They can also be used as learning opportunities to be better and grow; this might mean having to be unhappy for awhile until we 'level up'/obtain growth.

Anyway, I think the general idea of "enjoy single life" has to do with the fact that you are unrestricted in what you chose to do. If you were to randomly decide to hop on a plane and go somewhere, you could do that; or it can be something as simple as sleeping in the middle of the bed spread out like a star fish. It'd look different for anyone, but ultimately you have to be able to know how to be at peace, have fun and be happy by yourself to 'enjoy' this freedom.

Even if what you're saying were true: how am I supposed to find the time for it while juggling grad school with a full-time job? How am I supposed to get any sun when I can't stay outdoors any significant amount of time without getting heat stroke? I paid for a gym membership, but I don't know how to use any of the equipment. And they want me to pay $250 every two weeks for at least 3 months to teach me. How the h*ll am I supposed to afford that?

I wish I was single, frankly.

I do definitely understand it's not easy, Dorkseid.

But you have things going for you, as well as things that are not going for you so much.

Like me, for example. I'm good at some things, deficient in others.

I don't feel "finding a life partner" should be something which is all-consuming. Because when it's all-consuming, it never works.

If fact doing these things will save you a lot of money and time. It will boost your productivity and motivation, free up much more time than it takes.

You don't need any equipment or gym membership to start doing something like 5 burpees every day, it will take 10 minutes.

All you need to get enough sunlight is crack open window (UV doesn't penetrate glass) enough to let direct sunlight hit your skin while you are doing something like studying, no need to be outdoors for hours or allocate time specifically for sunlight exposure.

How so? I don't have time to do anything other work, study, and get a little sleep when I have the chance.



I have no idea what the h*ll a burpee even is. But it sounds gross.



Well then I'm already doing that. And it clearly isn't helping any.

Thank you!

Yes, there is a huge difference between being upset and being (clinically) depressed. Even objective low points don't make you (clinically) depressed, "happy-upset" and "happy-depressed" axes form 2x2 matrix of very different mental state quadrants. upset/happy quadrant is very different from upset/depressed, and happy/depressed is fundamentally impossible.

Seriously? Ever heard of google/youtube? You can't be that stupid, you clearly just trying to be difficult on purpose.


It will not help until you cover ALL the needs. Formal logic operator AND. Link in the chain. Weakest link, etc. Look it up.

I'm done wasting time with you. Bye.

I never buy it when people sat that. Just get a divorce. Problem solved.

I don't know why anyone would say such a thing unless they are unhappy in their own relationship.

You can enjoy being single just as much as you can enjoy being in a relationship and vice versa.

This ^^^^

I can agree that there's value in living a healthy lifestyle, getting some sun and all of that, but I strongly disagree that one's depression almost always stems from not doing these things, and that everyone who leads a happy life must necessarily do all of these things.

You talk about humans needing sunlight, exercise, a healthy diet, etc. Do you not also think that humans need romantic affection? Do you really think that somebody who has never had a girlfriend despite really wanting one for a long time will be happy in spite of their deep-seated desire going unmet so long as they cross off all the things on your list?

Like I said, I can agree that doing the things on your list would be helpful to an individual's wellbeing, but to say that one need only do these things to not be depressed ignores other important factors that have had a hand in instigating the depression in the first place.

When you imply that one need only exercise, eat well and get some sunlight, and then and only then will their depression lift, you're effectively saying that the problems this individual has written about are not severe enough to warrant a depressed response, because you're implying that their depression has nothing to do with the problem being presented, and is exclusively caused by other lifestyle factors instead. But then, if your perspective is that people only get depressed because they're not doing the things on your list, you're effectively saying that no other reason is sufficient enough to warrant a depressed response.

Am I missing something?

Not if you've wanted romantic intimacy/a relationship for a very long time and have scarcely/never had one. At that point, it's not momentary singlehood that can be enjoyed until someone else comes along, but rather relentless perpetual or near-perpetual loneliness that doesn't seem like it's ever going to change.

You can't enjoy being single if you want a relationship, and you're depressed about a thoroughly demonstrated inability on your part to attract a partner.