Autistic couples- a great or terrible thing?
I'm wondering if my recent notion holds any water...
A couple where both partners are autistic can be the best sort of couple OR the worst, depending on whether both have a full understanding and appreciation of the benefits and downsides of being on the spectrum.
I'm thinking that a deep mutual understanding of the altered thought processes in ASD people can lead to an unusually high level of compatibility, but when one or both partners are unaware of WHY they think and act as they do, that they will inevitably find themselves in an unrecoverable disaster?
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Darron, temporary Florida Swamp Dweller
Its funny that you mention it because I was just thinking of something similar.I can see both sides of the coin.On one hand I kind of do not want to marry an aspie because I am afraid it would make our kids more likely to be on the spectrum too.But I would not mind marrying someone who was an aspie who was pretty and we could have intellectual and philosophical discussions and get real deep into conversations especially if she was sort of like Hermoine Granger and we had similar values.
haha.....i just hope my wife would be smart and we could have deep discussions about things.Thats mainly what i meant.
that1weirdgrrrl
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Honestly, looking back over it, I believe I have only ever dated guys on the spectrum.
It wasn't intentional, I just think I've never been particularly intrigued by an NT....
I can only think of one close friend I had who was quite NT/popular/social. And while I adored said person, I also felt very uncomfortable around them sometimes.
My current partner is ND and our bond and relationship is unreal. I had an ND ex who was quite toxic and came from a toxic background, though....
So really.... it takes all sorts? I do find ND folks generally more interesting to talk to than NTs.
I'm just odd and I hang with other oddfolk
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...what do the public, the great unobservant public, who could hardly tell a weaver by his tooth or a compositor by his left thumb, care about the finer shades of analysis and deduction!
My husband is also autistic, we have a deeper level of understanding than one of us being with an NT.
We run a successful car dealership family business together, work really well together as a team etc.
He has never been able to mentally connect with an NT woman and has never loved the NT women previous because they just did not get him at all. I'm similar, except I used to get very bored of NT males because they couldn't find the correct humour in stuff.
I think because our brains function in a similar way we want someone who is on our wavelength because that just simply makes life easier, like my husband understands why I don't like clinginess - cause it's too much sensory overload, and he can understand that because he doesn't like it either. An NT on the other hand is going to get offended and not really get why you are "off with them" which results in endless explaining which is just stressful on an autism brain anyway to have to explain every little thing constantly.
I think when you find someone who matches your level of autism (or are teachable) then you're at least halfway there to having an alright relationship.
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The term Aspergers is no longer officially used in the UK - it is now regarded as High Functioning Autism.
nick007
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My 2nd girlfriend was autistic as well as my 3rd which is also my current. Autism is a spectrum & two Aspies can vary greatly sometimes. I'm an Aspie who's kinda opposite of the stereotypical Aspie guy within romantic relationships. I'm clingy, needy, & I'm also very affectionate & love spending a lot of time with my partner. I'm somewhat codependent within romantic relationships. However I'm ONLY like that with my romantic partners. With everyone else I'm an extreme loner who is anti-affectionate. Only my romantic partners can break through my shell & into my very comfort zone. My 2nd girlfriend was more like the classic Aspie who wants more space & independence so we had lots of compatibility issues. My current girlfriend is more on my level with all that stuff. Me & her also both have various physical & mental issues besides autism & that's also a big reason we're compatible. Well there's a chance she isn't an Aspie but she has a brother who is & she has lots of overlapping issues. Some of our issues are very different from each other but we can both relate to what it's like being disabled in various ways. Being supportive within a romantic relationship is one of my biggest relationship strengths but I do NOT go about it the NT way. I'm NOT very compatible with NT women because I'm very direct, straightforward, have problems picking up hints, problems reading body language, problems reading tone of voice, problems reading facial expressions, NTs often misread me, I'm very awkward in general, & NOT independent financially or with life skills. Aspies are more on my level but a lot of them are still very different from me in some ways that would make romantic relationships very difficult.
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that1weirdgrrrl
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Same!! ! ^^^^
Although I will admit that after years I became somewhat able to read my partners non-verbal cues.
He is the only person on the face of the earth that I can read, though, and it wasn't like that in the beginning.
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...what do the public, the great unobservant public, who could hardly tell a weaver by his tooth or a compositor by his left thumb, care about the finer shades of analysis and deduction!
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,126
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
Same!! ! ^^^^
Although I will admit that after years I became somewhat able to read my partners non-verbal cues.
He is the only person on the face of the earth that I can read, though, and it wasn't like that in the beginning.
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
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