Should I announce my relationship with a co-worker?

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ironpony
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06 Nov 2021, 7:43 pm

I've been dating a co-worker in my job for a few months now, and the Christmas party is coming up in a few weeks and if we go, I was wondering, if we should go together and make it obvious since the people I work with are not aware of the relationship. I sometimes wonder if the employers would perhaps not be okay with it. It didn't say anything in the code of conduct about it, but still I wonder sometimes for our sake.

What do you think in this type of situation? Also, I could be overreacting maybe here a bit but there is an age gap between us and some people have looked down it or things like that, so wonder if the co-workers or managers would look down on that too maybe? But maybe I'm overreacting and maybe no one would care and it's irrevelant and we should just go as a date and make it obvious?

What do you think?



kraftiekortie
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06 Nov 2021, 7:51 pm

Probably not a good idea—unless you have an excellent relationship with whoever hires/fires people.

Most companies frown on office romances.

Is she your direct supervisor or subordinate? If so, definitely don’t reveal the relationship.



kraftiekortie
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06 Nov 2021, 7:52 pm

I’ve had two office romances, and one fling with a co-worker. I never revealed the relationships.



ironpony
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06 Nov 2021, 7:57 pm

She's a supervisor but in a different department than mine.



kraftiekortie
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06 Nov 2021, 8:01 pm

I still wouldn’t reveal it. How does she feel about it?



ironpony
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06 Nov 2021, 8:36 pm

She says she kind of wants to reveal it and is a bit tired of the tiptoeing around, compared to me.



HeroOfHyrule
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06 Nov 2021, 8:47 pm

I don't think you need to explicitly reveal it, nor do you need to keep it a secret. Your coworkers probably don't care about your relationship, but if you make it out to be a big thing that might be unprofessional. Just keep it on the down low when working so you're staying professional and then go about your personal lives however you please, and if your coworkers somehow find out then they find out. You're two adults and whatever the both of you do off-work isn't their business.



ironpony
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06 Nov 2021, 8:49 pm

Oh okay. Well it's just she often goes for holding my hand and am pretty sure she will do it here too if we go.



cyberdad
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06 Nov 2021, 8:53 pm

it might be a shock, but your co-workers (particularly your female ones) probably already know.

I wouldn't bother, you would look like a prick.



ironpony
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06 Nov 2021, 8:55 pm

You mean look like a show off, by prick?



cyberdad
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06 Nov 2021, 8:58 pm

ironpony wrote:
You mean look like a show off, by prick?


Not so much showing-off, just by "announcing it",

Just don't make a big deal about it. People at work will respect you more.



MaxE
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06 Nov 2021, 8:59 pm

Do whatever she wants.


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ironpony
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06 Nov 2021, 9:00 pm

cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
You mean look like a show off, by prick?


Not so much showing-off, just by "announcing it",

Just don't make a big deal about it. People at work will respect you more.


Oh it's just that she decides to take my hand and hold it for example, wouldn't that be announcing it pretty much?



HeroOfHyrule
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06 Nov 2021, 9:06 pm

I think subtle hand-holding is different than outright verbally announcing that you two are dating. If you don't want to hold her hand at work and you think it's unprofessional you don't have to, though I feel like the party is informal enough that something that simple shouldn't get you in trouble if you wanted to do it. I'd just keep it to that instead of outright saying anything about it.



ironpony
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06 Nov 2021, 9:08 pm

Oh yes but I wouldn't announce it randomly. It's just that if she holds my hands, others will likely ask us, so do we say it then I mean?



HeroOfHyrule
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06 Nov 2021, 9:10 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh yes but I wouldn't announce it randomly. It's just that if she holds my hands, others will likely ask us, so do we say it then I mean?

Oh, if someone brought it up to you I think it's fine to admit to it. I thought you meant randomly telling people, sorry about that. lol